Tuesday, December 30, 2008

A Song Meme...I'm Bored

I felt like doing something fun after that last depressing post, so this is just to amuse myself, and possibly you, as well. Do it if you want; ignore it if you want. I'm not much into tagging. You know the drill - set your music player to shuffle and answer the questions. I usually add song quotations that I think fit the category - just for fun. And to pass the time. Here goes!

Will I get far in life?
Peaceful Easy Feeling - The Eagles

"I want to sleep with you in the desert tonight." Sweet! I'll at least make it to the desert.

How do my friends see me?
Pink - Aerosmith

"Pink as the bing on your cherry." Well, I do wear a lot of cherry things.

Where will I get married?
I Love This Bar - Toby Keith

"If you get too drunk just sleep out in your car." Yep, I did that at Michelle and Jason's wedding. The booze will be aplenty at my wedding.

What is my best friend’s theme song?
Brothers in Arms - Dire Straits

"I've witnessed your suffering / As the battles raged higher / And though they did hurt me so bad / In the fear and alarm/ You did not desert me / My brothers in arms" This one fits Leslie best. It's a great song, used in my favorite episode of the West Wing.

What is the story of my life?
Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy

"I never want to see you unhappy / I thought you'd want the same for me / Goodbye, my almost lover / Goodbye my hopeless dream / I'm trying not to think about you / Can't you just let me be?" This is perfect. This is my life. To rip off Scrubs, if my heart could write songs, they'd sound like this.

What was high school like?
American Soldier - Toby Keith

"I'm real good under pressure, being all that I can be / I can't call in sick on Mondays when they weekend's been too strong" - Kind of a stretch, but I love this song. Actually, "I will always do what's right" fits as well.

How can I get ahead in life?
One Headlight - The Wallflowers

"There's got to be something better than in the middle" - I fell in love with this song at Governor's School. We used to listen to Bringing Down the Horse while doing laundry and shooting pool.

What is the best thing about me?
Drift Away - Dobie Gray

"And when my mind is free / You know a melody can move me" - That's right, friends. Give me the beat, boys, and free my soul.

How is today going to be?
Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison

"Though it's been a while now / I can still feel so much pain" I hope that's why this song came up. Today is my mom's wedding. Maybe it's an homage to divorce.

What is in store for this weekend?
Standing Still - Jewel

"Am I standing still?" Maybe I'm going to do physical therapy.

What song describes my parents?
Stranger on the Shore - Acker Bilk

No lyrics, just beautiful oboe sounds. That's fitting - both of my parents were music majors.

My grandparents?
Miami - Counting Crows

"It just gets hard to believe / That God sent this angel to watch over me" Aww. My grandparents have been married 51 years.

How is my life going?
Glasgow Love Theme - Craig Armstrong

Another instrumental. For Love Actually fans, it's the song that plays when Juliet watches the wedding video. I think it's suitable to my life. The song has such a longing to it. I adore it, and it will play at my wedding, as soon as I find someone crazy enough to marry me. Any takers? I'm getting desperate here.

What song will they play at my funeral?
Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton

"Would you know my name / If I saw you in heaven?" Yay! They better play this song at my funeral, or I'm going to have to come back and haunt some people.

How does the world see me?
Love Story - Taylor Swift

"Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone / I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run / You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess" I guess the world knows of my aspirations at marrying Prince William.

Will I have a happy life?
Help Somebody - Van Zant

"Don't get too high on the bottle / And get right with the man / Fight your fights, find your grace / And all the things that you can't change / And help somebody if you can" I adore this song. I believe it's important to give to others. "If you want to hear God laugh tell Him your plans" works as well.

What do my friends really think of me?
Laid - James

"But she only comes when she's on top" In my defense, this song didn't give me a lot to work with. It's a good song, though, and the James version is way better than the remake.

Do people secretly lust after me?
Why Don't You and I - Santana and Chad Kroeger

"Everytime I try to talk to you / I get tongue-tied / Turns out everything I say to you / Comes out wrong and never comes out right / So I'll say why don't you and I get together / And take on the world and be together forever" I forgot about this song! How fitting.

How can I make myself happy?
Cliffs of Dover - Eric Johnson

Yet another instrumental. I love this song, and while I know very little about guitar, I know that Eric Johnson is one of the top guitarists in the world. This song does make me happy when I listen to it, or when I play it on Guitar Hero III Legends of Rock. I should make this my ring tone.

What should I do with my life?
I Hear the Bells - Mike Doughty

"Let's go make out up in the balcony" Why not? I've got time. Of course, getting to the balcony is the hard part.

Will I ever have children?
Angel from Montgomery - Bonnie Raitt and John Prine

"I am an old woman named after my mother" I guess that's a yes? This is my favorite version of this song.

What is some good advice?
Rest Stop - Matchbox 20

"So I thought, hell, if it's over / I had better end it quick or I could lose my nerve" Sure, why not. Break-up advice is good advice.

What is my signature dancing song?
Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead

"It wears me out / It wears me out" This isn't a good dancing song, but it is a damn good song.

What do I think my current theme song is?
Talk Dirty to Me - Poison

"Baby, we'll be / At the drive-in / In the old man's ford / Behind the bushes / Until I'm screamin' for more / Down the basement / Lock the cellar door / And baby / Talk dirty to me" I love this song. I'd say "Hard Candy" by Counting Crows is my theme song, but this has potential.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
White Horse - Taylor Swift

"I'm not a princess / This ain't a fairy tale / I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet / Lead her up the stairwell / This ain't a Hollywood / This is a small town / I was a dreamer before you went and let me down / Now it's too late for you and your white horse / To come around" Apparently, everyone thinks I'm a lovesick princess wannabe. All kidding aside, though, this song is fitting as well. Freaky how these things work.

What type of men/women do you like?
Wild Horses - The Sundays

"You know I can't let you / Slide through my hands" Yes, I like the Rolling Stones version as well, but this is the one that popped up on shuffle. This song will also be at my wedding. Dear Lord, the princess songs do fit me. I'll be coming back to reality any day now...

What did you think of this meme?
Little Black Backpack - Stroke 9

"And this shouldn't concern you, except that / Just don't expect to get your bloody black backpack back" Another song I forgot about.

Resolved OR Year in Review

It's that time of year when we all choose the New Year's resolution that we will inevitably break. I'm aiming high for 2009, because I'm quite certain it can't possibly suck as bad as 2008. Or 2007 - what a terrible disaster of a year that was.

This year, I'm keeping it simple: I want my 23" waist back. Yes, this is shallow. I'm OK with that, though. I've been in bed since June 1, and I can't do cardio. I don't use my legs very much, and my body has morphed into an unrecognizable mushy flesh thing. Yes, I'm aware most people don't even notice, but I do. You really don't want to look at my ass, people - there's some mighty unappealing cellulite.

So, in 2009, I will get better. And when that happens, I'm going back to handstand push-ups, Pilates, exercise bikes and ankle weights when I do laundry. I'm going to get in shape - preferably not round.

But don't be fooled, my friends - I'm not changing my diet. I will still eat more bacon than a reasonable person would. I will still not eat veggies, unless, of course, they are cooked in bacon. I will not eat salad or drink diet anything. I will do things the way I always have - burning more calories than I take in until I'm back to 108, and doing cardio until I burn the fat.

There is a down side, though: I'm quite certain my breasts will go down a cup size or two (hopefully not two) once I get to fat-burning. Sigh. I guess it's one of life's conundrums.

Looking back over 2008, a lot has happened to me. In March, I left Chattanooga to move back to Hendersonville. It was a hard decision, because to me it was like admitting failure - again! I should backtrack to say I had to drop out of college a few years ago when the money ran dry. That was life failure No. 1. No. 2 is not being able to make it in another city. In my defense, however, the circumstances were beyond extenuating: parents' divorce, grandmother's heart attack and stroke, Josh's death - the icing on the cake. I was barely making it, and when Josh died, I shut down. I was unable to function. I still cry on Sept. 22. I don't think I'll ever be able to work that day.

Anyway, back to my failures. I left Chattanooga in search of greener pastures, after having stepped down from Store Manager to Assistant Store Manager due to my inability to give my partners the attention they need and deserve from a manager. It was the right decision, but it was hard, and so 2008 marked my return to ASM status. It actually happened Black Friday of 2007, but holiday is kind of a blur anyway.

I stayed on Vicki's futon until my apartment was ready, and I was there a whole week before I got sick. My sister and friends unpacked my stuff, and I set up shop in the bed. No TV, no Internet...just me and my thoughts. And 500 MENSA sudoku puzzles, which I aced!

Now, here I am, collecting long-term disability while the doctors scratch their heads and my physical therapist says such nonsensical things as "You don't need to be in bed." Right. Because I had a good day at physical therapy, meaning I walk 1/13 of a mile! And it only took 20-25 minutes. And then I went home and cried because the pain was unbearable.

Christmas was a bad day as well. Had I been insured (my COBRA paperwork has not been processed yet), I would have been in the hospital. Instead, I cried in bed for two hours, took extra muscle relaxers, and braved the family gathering.

Some good things happened, too. I got really good at Guitar Hero. Seriously, I play on expert, and it isn't hard for me. Jackson turned one, so I drugged up and went to the party. It was fun! Leslie survived her first year, so we had dinner as the first meeting of the Widows and Cripples Club! I sewed many things, which I am still doing, and with any luck, you'll all good your Christmas cards by Valentine's Day.

Both of my parents got engaged this year, and in an hour, my mom is getting married. So all was not lost, but I feel like part of me is. And now, before I depress us all, I'm signing off.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

A Meltdown of the Non-Nuclear Variety

Six months ago I wouldn't have believed I'd be here, in bed, 11 days from my birthday. And all I want for my birthday is peace of mind, not to sound like I'm ripping off Boston or anything. Christmas list, as I told my family, "Money to pay all those bills Vanderbilt likes to keep sending me." Oh, and electric, phone, and car insurance, and my now expired tags, and my debt payment, and January rent because I sure as hell won't have that when the new year rolls around.

Seriously. If this gets any worse they're going to write a bloody Broadway musical about it. And if I don't stop watching Hell's Kitchen, people are going to start thinking I'm British. That is, if I ever saw people, which I don't.

That's depressing, by the way. I don't recommend being a hermit. I guess if I were Thomas Pynchon I could live without social interaction, but I'm not, and I can't. I am, however, going to dig into Gravity's Rainbow once Christmas is over and I can stop sewing 8 hours a day. It sure does make the time fly, though, and yesterday, I mastered my first French knot stitch! Sweet! That's been giving me trouble for the past 12 years. I can't wait to tell my mom!

(seconds later)

I just did, via a text message! I'm also working on some new dessert recipes. It's a little frustrating, however, as I can't actually get to my kitchen and test any of them. In my head, they are fabulous and tasty!

I'm using some vacation time to get some pay, but that sucks because I really need a vacation. And, yes, I'm aware that I'm not doing any actual work now, but I need a change of scenery. Hell, put me on bedrest in the Caymans, or even Cuba. At least health care is free there.