No, I'm not, to answer the weirdest question I was asked Saturday. In fact, I'm not entirely sure who "that girl" is, and the time that we allegedly dated escapes me, but, to be all formal and answer, I am not still dating this imaginary girl.
I'm also not dating the beautiful bass player from the Hendersonville Starbucks. He's gay, much to my surprise, as well as the surprise and utter amusement of Michael, who broke the news to me in a fit of laughter. The Michael - she's a kidder. Yes, it's a she.
I'm not dating your mother, either, but I might be using her for sex.
OK, so I'm sorry. I've been neglecting you, and it's because I've been really busy. I even missed my yearly Kevin Spacey celebration (I think he's a really good actor).
The air conditioning went out at my apartment a week ago, and I spent the better part of my afternoon and evening trying to convince myself that 87 degrees isn't really that hot.
I have district panel tomorrow, so I'll spend today - my only day off this week - freaking out about it, busying myself with such menial tasks as my resume and tidying the apartment.
Yesterday I enjoyed a lazy afternoon with Heather, during which we watched nearly the entire first season of Weeds. I had a dream about smoking pot from some homemade Survivoresque pipe constructed from feathers. I'm not sure how that worked, but it did.
I've managed to work out air conditioned transportation for my interview at the Belle Meade store tomorrow. I'm using my sister's car - she's in New Orleans for the week. I'm not supposed to tell my mom. I don't see how it matters, but I'm playing along.
I had some potentially bad news: Once school starts, I may not be able to be online for a while. I have no Internet at my apartment. Perhaps my wired friends will lend a hand.
Well, I'm off to check my 300 e-mails. Here's a feast for ya.
Appetizer
What's the funniest dream you can remember having?
The feather pot pipe was pretty entertaining.
Soup
If you were a dog, what breed would you be, and why?
I don't think I'd be a dog, and it's not a cop-out. I'm just not a dog person, and I know absolutely nothing about dogs, other than their needy, attention-starved nature and their uncanny ability to piss on the carpet. I'd be a puppy. Really any type of puppy would work.
Salad
Continue this sentence: "I get confused when..."
I take naps in the winter and wake up after sundown. It always takes me a second to figure out what day it is.
Main Course
Name two things that need to be done, but you are procrastinating in completing.
My resume and cleaning my kitchen. And laundry. OK, so I'm a procrastinator. I also need to feed Salazar.
Dessert
When was the last time you tried something new, and what was it?
Malibu and Dr. Pepper, at Heather's last Tuesday. It was tasty.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish OR Adeo Quod Gratiae pro Totus Piscis Piscis
By the way, if you translate that line back into English using some Web site, you get "To approach and thanks for whole fish."
Why the Latin? I'm glad youasked thought I was weird. It's in honor of my Governor's School roommate, Heather, with whom I had a delicious lunch and conversation Thursday. Let's break it down by comparing our lives (keep in mind she graduated high school in 2000, one year ahead of yours truly).
Heather went to Vanderbilt.
I spent one semester at Emory before I ran screaming to MTSU.
Heather has a boyfriend named Adam.
I have a boyfr...OK, I don't have a boyfriend. But I used to date an Adam. Midway through our courtship, he wanted to revert back to his first name, Dietrich, but I refused to go through the ordeal of explaining to everyone I know that my boyfriend wanted to be called something else. This, oddly, was not the demise of our relationship.
Heather teaches Latin.
I took Latin, but I really only paid attention about half the time. The rest of the time was spent tallying the number of times our teacher repeated various words and phrases.
Heather has a degree.
I have attempted enough hours for a degree.
I'm sure as time wears on, I'll have many more comparisons.
Guess what today is? Pay day! Also, it's Friday, and that means we need to feast on the past few weeks. This will hopefully make up for all the time I missed. I owe you Feasts 100 - 103.
Oh yeah. The title: I've officially left Smyrna and spent my first day at the new Manchester store. It's a nice store. I'm excited.
Feast 100
Appetizer
On average, approximately how many times per day do you yawn?
Probably only once or twice. I'm not as shallow a breather as I once was.
Soup
What was your most memorable school field trip?
I had a blast at the jail in second grade.
Salad
Fill in the blank: I was extremely __________________ this week.
Introspective. Right. As opposed to all those other weeks when I completely ignore myself. That's my sarcatstic typing. At any rate, I was introspective this week.
Main Course
Which color do you think of when you hear the word "soothing"?
A fountain...oh shit, that's not a color. I like of toothpaste green, like pale mint. I guess it reminds me of Aloe or something.
Dessert
What is something that, if you had to, you could save up the money to buy within one month?
A new toothbrush, and some work socks and pants.
Feast 101
Appetizer
When was the last time you visited a hospital?
I was in the Emergency Room a few weeks ago.
Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how ambitious are you?
I think I vary between 8 and 9.5.
Salad
Make a sentence using the letters of a body part. (Example: (mouth) My other ukelele tings healthily.)
I'm going to choose everyone's favorite body part to scope out: Cervix. By the way, I had to backspace because I accidentally typed "boy part" - that would've been funny.
Could everyone resist violating innocent xylophones?
Main Course
If you were to start a club, what would the subject matter be, and what would you name it?
I'd start a Buffy club I guess, and I'd name it Staked, and the "t" would look like a cross.
Dessert
What color is the carpet/flooring in your home?
Beige.
Feast 102
Appetizer
Name one thing nice that you could do for someone else today.
I'm not going to see anyone else today, except for Salazar. I'll take him out of the cage and play with him, provided he's not still moody like he was last night. If that doesn't work, I guess I'll just pay a bill. That tends to please people.
Soup
When was the last time you were frightened by the weather?
Today. I was driving home from Manchester and the wind was blowing my car out of the lane. I called my dad to get a weather update.
Salad
What would you say is the most useful website or blog that you visit?
Google.
Main Course
Who was your favorite singer/group when you were a child?
Either Exile or The New Kids on the Block. Or Tiffany. I loved her.
Dessert
Do you have any rituals? If so, what are they?
Yes. On the third day of every month, I sacrifice a virgin. It's a little messy. OK, I do have one I actually do: Every time I count in at work, I face all the bills in the safe, in all the tills (if I open or close), and I count all the clips. I'm a little Rain Man-ish when it comes to money.
And finally, Feast 103.
Appetizer
Fill in the blanks: I ____________ when I _____________.
I take off my bra when I get home in the summer. It's usually the first thing I do because my car is so hot.
Soup
Name something you use to make your home smell good.
Incense, usually China Rain.
Salad
If you could receive a coupon in the mail for 50% off any product, what would you want it to be for?
A new car.
Main Course
Besides sleeping, what do you spend the majority of the hours of your typical day doing?
Working.
Dessert
What can you hear right now while answering these questions?
The hum of computers, and my click-clack typing on this godforsaken keyboard.
Why the Latin? I'm glad you
Heather went to Vanderbilt.
I spent one semester at Emory before I ran screaming to MTSU.
Heather has a boyfriend named Adam.
I have a boyfr...OK, I don't have a boyfriend. But I used to date an Adam. Midway through our courtship, he wanted to revert back to his first name, Dietrich, but I refused to go through the ordeal of explaining to everyone I know that my boyfriend wanted to be called something else. This, oddly, was not the demise of our relationship.
Heather teaches Latin.
I took Latin, but I really only paid attention about half the time. The rest of the time was spent tallying the number of times our teacher repeated various words and phrases.
Heather has a degree.
I have attempted enough hours for a degree.
I'm sure as time wears on, I'll have many more comparisons.
Guess what today is? Pay day! Also, it's Friday, and that means we need to feast on the past few weeks. This will hopefully make up for all the time I missed. I owe you Feasts 100 - 103.
Oh yeah. The title: I've officially left Smyrna and spent my first day at the new Manchester store. It's a nice store. I'm excited.
Feast 100
Appetizer
On average, approximately how many times per day do you yawn?
Probably only once or twice. I'm not as shallow a breather as I once was.
Soup
What was your most memorable school field trip?
I had a blast at the jail in second grade.
Salad
Fill in the blank: I was extremely __________________ this week.
Introspective. Right. As opposed to all those other weeks when I completely ignore myself. That's my sarcatstic typing. At any rate, I was introspective this week.
Main Course
Which color do you think of when you hear the word "soothing"?
A fountain...oh shit, that's not a color. I like of toothpaste green, like pale mint. I guess it reminds me of Aloe or something.
Dessert
What is something that, if you had to, you could save up the money to buy within one month?
A new toothbrush, and some work socks and pants.
Feast 101
Appetizer
When was the last time you visited a hospital?
I was in the Emergency Room a few weeks ago.
Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how ambitious are you?
I think I vary between 8 and 9.5.
Salad
Make a sentence using the letters of a body part. (Example: (mouth) My other ukelele tings healthily.)
I'm going to choose everyone's favorite body part to scope out: Cervix. By the way, I had to backspace because I accidentally typed "boy part" - that would've been funny.
Could everyone resist violating innocent xylophones?
Main Course
If you were to start a club, what would the subject matter be, and what would you name it?
I'd start a Buffy club I guess, and I'd name it Staked, and the "t" would look like a cross.
Dessert
What color is the carpet/flooring in your home?
Beige.
Feast 102
Appetizer
Name one thing nice that you could do for someone else today.
I'm not going to see anyone else today, except for Salazar. I'll take him out of the cage and play with him, provided he's not still moody like he was last night. If that doesn't work, I guess I'll just pay a bill. That tends to please people.
Soup
When was the last time you were frightened by the weather?
Today. I was driving home from Manchester and the wind was blowing my car out of the lane. I called my dad to get a weather update.
Salad
What would you say is the most useful website or blog that you visit?
Google.
Main Course
Who was your favorite singer/group when you were a child?
Either Exile or The New Kids on the Block. Or Tiffany. I loved her.
Dessert
Do you have any rituals? If so, what are they?
Yes. On the third day of every month, I sacrifice a virgin. It's a little messy. OK, I do have one I actually do: Every time I count in at work, I face all the bills in the safe, in all the tills (if I open or close), and I count all the clips. I'm a little Rain Man-ish when it comes to money.
And finally, Feast 103.
Appetizer
Fill in the blanks: I ____________ when I _____________.
I take off my bra when I get home in the summer. It's usually the first thing I do because my car is so hot.
Soup
Name something you use to make your home smell good.
Incense, usually China Rain.
Salad
If you could receive a coupon in the mail for 50% off any product, what would you want it to be for?
A new car.
Main Course
Besides sleeping, what do you spend the majority of the hours of your typical day doing?
Working.
Dessert
What can you hear right now while answering these questions?
The hum of computers, and my click-clack typing on this godforsaken keyboard.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Separation Anxiety OR Mutant Cicadas Beware
I turned in my store and safe keys today. Weird. I'm going to Manchester on Friday, and we open two weeks after that. It's all a little strange, and I never thought it'd be so hard and exciting to change stores.
Friday I did something I never thought I'd do - I drank to feel better. It's odd when you realize you still have the ability to scare yourself. I'm not really sure what to make of it. I'm trying not to think too hard about it.
I've also tried not to think too hard about how dangerously close the poverty line and I are. I'm trying not to think.
I had a battle with a mutant cicada last night! And by "battle" I mean "refusing to enter my apartment and calling my manly man friends to kill it."
Seriously, this bug was freaky. And now it's dead.
I'm seriously considering changing my major and becoming an oncologist. More on this later.
I'm seriously overusing the word seriously. Seriously.
I'll be interesting later, but for now, let's have a song of the day: "How to Save a Life" by the Fray.
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
Friday I did something I never thought I'd do - I drank to feel better. It's odd when you realize you still have the ability to scare yourself. I'm not really sure what to make of it. I'm trying not to think too hard about it.
I've also tried not to think too hard about how dangerously close the poverty line and I are. I'm trying not to think.
I had a battle with a mutant cicada last night! And by "battle" I mean "refusing to enter my apartment and calling my manly man friends to kill it."
Seriously, this bug was freaky. And now it's dead.
I'm seriously considering changing my major and becoming an oncologist. More on this later.
I'm seriously overusing the word seriously. Seriously.
I'll be interesting later, but for now, let's have a song of the day: "How to Save a Life" by the Fray.
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
