Saturday, April 18, 2009

Welfare vs. Trust Funds

Disclaimer: I realize what I'm about to post will probably offend some Republicans and right-leaning moderates. Note: I said Republicans, not conservatives. Republicans are doing a great job of running their fragile party into the ground, so maybe this will be a wake-up call to gather up common sense and try to be decent people. No, not all Republicans are indecent. Some of my favorite people are Republicans (i.e. my dad). But it's time to be careful about who gets the microphone and who spouts off nonsense within earshot of thinking people (Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, whoever the spokesperson of the week is). I'm not going to skirt around the issues. I've had some things on my mind lately, and it's time to get them out in the open.

Welfare: This is a four-letter word to most Republicans. How dare tax dollars go to feed hungry children or help someone pay rent! First off, if you think you're entitled to have approval of every cent the government spends, you're living in a fantasy land. We also cannot reasonably expect every social program to work flawlessly. Just because there are problems does not mean the program should be eliminated. When your pitcher gives up a hit or two, you don't automatically put someone else in (unless you're the Yankess - get it together, guys).

The assumption that all people on welfare are lazy and don't want to work is ludicrous. I'm sure there are a few people who fit the bill, but it's certainly nowhere near a majority. In fact, many of these people work harder than those pulling in six figures. Have you ever gone to school full time while working two full-time jobs? I have. There are plenty of people like me. There are families who cannot feed themselves, and it doesn't mean it's their fault. This isn't a "what goes around comes around thing" - I don't believe in that after living through the last eight years of abuse of power.

Food stamps - or whatever new acronym they're using - is a great program to help feed people who don't otherwise have the means to feed themselves. Have you ever qualified for food stamps? I have. In fact, I'm looking into it now. I'm 26, and I've had a job since I was 16. I work hard and often. I have debt but I'm paying it off, I pay my bills, I pay taxes, but I got sick in June. What does that translate to? Essentially, I make -$550 a month. I don't think anyone who knows me would call me lazy if I sought government help.

These social programs are a way of raising the status quo. It is an absolute embarrassment that we live in a country with so much wealth and so many poor. I would be embarrassed to have a large salary now, unless I were giving a substantial part to various charitable organizations. Sure, I work hard for my money, but I'd rather do without some luxuries and allow my neighbor to have a roof over his or her head. I'd rather pay in a little more in taxes so other people can go to the doctor without fear of the cost.

But left-wing socialist liberals aren't the only ones who believe in helping out the less fortunate. The poor often take the rap for not working, but if you've ever been to college, you know there are plenty of well-off people who do nothing but self-destruct on someone else's dime. Which brings me to...

Trust Funds: Or, as I'd like to call it, rich people welfare. Have we ever really asked ourselves why we are so preoccupied with this ridiculous notion that someday we can all be rich? Why do the rich want so much money? The answer: so they don't have to work, or so they have to work less.

In college, as I mentioned before, I worked two jobs. I didn't get everything handed to me. I took out debt to pay expenses and class costs, I worked with mono to pay the bills, and I never asked for a penny. However, I know plenty of people who did absolutely nothing and were showered with money from parents or grandparents or whoever set up the monetary safety net. Now, there is nothing wrong with not working in college. There is something wrong, however, with an entitlement complex that gives you the mentality that you can get whatever you want simply by asking.

I've never had a trust fund, I'm quite certain I never will, and I don't plan on setting them up for my children, either. I'll save money for college educations and other such things, but I'm not giving my kids a windfall so they can take my place in whatever company I'm running and essentially sit at a desk and play Wii.

These wealthy individuals believe in helping the less fortunate as well, only they limit it to those who share their DNA. I want to help the less fortunate regardless of relation to me. Calling Democratic policies socialist because they aim to help the less fortunate obtain necessities is hypocritical. The nay-sayers need to do some self-reflection.

At the heart of it, we all, for the most part, have compassion for those less fortunate. Some of us are willing to act on a broader scope than others, but it should never been presented as a negative quality.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

I Picked the Wrong Day to Wear a Pirate Shirt

When I dressed myself Wednesday morning, I did not know there was a pirate seige a-brewin' off the coast of Somalia. In my defense, however, my shirt had Johnny Depp on it. He can seize my ship any time!

Speaking of inappropriate things, today I had my pelvic floor muscles injected with lydacaine and some other numbing agent. Don't flinch - it really wasn't that bad.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Steal This Car

First off, yes, I sold out. Click the ads - I'm a poor person.

Every day, the same car alarm goes off. First off, no one ever pays attention to car alarms. They were cool in the '90s for about a minute, but if you hear one, you never think a car is actually being stolen.

The aforementioned alarm I hear every day is so annoying, and for just a moment, I wish someone will steal that damn car so I don't have to hear it anymore.

Now, I'm not advocating grand theft auto (at least, not in real life - feel free to play the game), but if you have a car alarm, please respond in a timely manner when it disturbs my peace.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Wendy Campbell Doesn't Live Here

Dear Rude Phone Woman,

Please stop calling me asking for Wendy Campbell. I am not Wendy Campbell. I have corrected my name for you before, and if you can't get it right, you have no business calling me about "a personal business matter" or whatever it is you want me to say.

If you are going to take up my time by calling me and waking me up after I've only had one hour of sleep, you need to get my name right. How hard is it to read my name from a paper or computer screen? Here's my best recollection of today's conversation (some may be paraphrased if I can't remember the exact words):

Woman: "May I speak to Wendy Campbell?" Seriously? You still can't get it right? It's on my voice mail!

Me: "I'm sorry, you have the wrong number." This is true, as my number is not Wendy Campbell's number.

Woman: "This isn't Wendy Campbell?" Didn't I just address that?

Me: "No."

Woman: "Well, it sounds like Wendy." Well, you sound like a bee-otch, but I haven't pointed that out.

Me: "There's no Wendy Campbell here." Oh, snap! At this point, I figure she'd probably reference her list.

Woman: "I know this is Wendy Campbell. I remember your voice." So you have magical voice recollection but you can't remember my name? If you remember my voice, you remember talking to me, which means you should remember me correcting you about my name.

End of call.

Seriously, people, I'm happy to discuss whatever as long as you know who you're calling when you dial...especially if you wake me up.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Sorry for the Lapse

MTSU is making budget cuts, and as of now, philosophy is on the list of majors and departments to get cut. I will be devoting my time to helping the cause, so I urge you all to check out my blog, Save MTSU Philosophy, in the meantime, as I will updating that one far more frequently until I succeed or go out in a blaze of glory.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Let Operation: Shawshank Redemption Commence!

A quick note while I get settled in from seeing my dad. On my way up there, thanks to some tweets, I found out that MTSU is considering cutting a number of majors and/or programs in order to save money. Among them, of course, are my two majors: applied mathematics and philosophy.

First off, what kind of crappy-ass college doesn't offer philosophy as a major? Or applied mathematics for that matter? So, in response, I am starting a letter-writing campaign inspired by my favorite movie, The Shawshank Redemption. I will write one e-mail per day to MTSU President Sidney McPhee, the MTSU Faculty Senate, TBR, and anyone else I can think of. My goal is to also include one written letter each week, and my e-mails and letters will be inspired by various philosophers.

Take that, MTSU! Thanks for trying to screw me out of a degree even when I'm no longer enrolled.

I courage everyone to do the same. Er, I mean, write letters. Don't screw me. Unless you're Johnny Depp.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Who Will Take Home Oscar? I Predict It Will Not Be Me

It's about time I pick my winners in the top categories, and who knows, I may even make a few predictions in the categories I know nothing about. I'd like to preface this by saying that due to my health, I haven't been able to see all the films as I typically do before Oscar Sunday (one of the five days of the year I refuse to work). In fact, the only film I've seen is The Dark Knight, so I'll be relying on my past good fortune of guessing who gets the prize.

Actor in a Leading Role
Richard Jenkins, The Visitor
Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn, Milk
Brad Pitt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler
And the Oscar (probably) goes to...Mickey Rourke
This one is a tough call, as Penn and Pitt have also been widely acknowledged for their performaces in their title roles. Hollywood loves a comeback, probably because it gives the washed-up ones hope. With all the Slumdog Millionaire hype, this seems to be a year for the dark horse, which Rourke was until he started racking up all those statues at other ceremonies. Still, I'd be OK with a Pitt upset. Playing a character who looks old and acts young takes some mad skills, and the Academy should recognize him one of these years. Which brings me to...

Actress in a Leading Role
Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie, Changeling
Melissa Leo, Frozen River
Meryl Streep, Doubt
Kate Winselt, The Reader
And the Oscar (better) go to...Kate Winslet
As soon as I saw previews for Rachel Getting Married, I knew Hathaway would get a nod. Winslet is the youngest actress to have racked up as many nods as she has, and the Academy needs to stop teasing her and just give her the statue already. The only thing that could spoil her chances...Streep. I say this because Winslet has already won for The Reader, but those wins were in the Supporting Actress category, and Streep picked up an Actor for Doubt.

Actor in a Supporting Role
Do I really need to list the nominees here?
Josh Brolin, Milk
Robert Downey Jr., Tropic Thunder
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Michael Shannon, Revolutionary Road
And the Oscar (definitely) goes to...Heath Ledger
I would bet everything I own on Ledger winning, and if he doesn't, there will be rioting in the streets. His parents are expected to accept on his behalf, and if that damn orchestra tries to play them off, I hope someone kicks the conductor's ass. I just hope they stop overusing the word "dude" when they announce Downey Jr. as a nominee.

Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams, Doubt
Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis, Doubt
Taraji P. Henson, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Marissa Tomei, The Wrestler
And the Oscar goes to...Penelope Cruz
Cruz has been overlooked before, but she always has the ability to appear not just as a beautiful woman but as a realistic character, embodying both good and bad qualities. It's a little risky putting up two actresses for Doubt, but that didn't keep Catherine Zeta-Jones from besting the competition, including fellow Chicago nominee Queen Laifah. Still, I'm banking on Cruz.

Animated Feature Film
Kung Fu Panda

And the Oscar goes to...Wall-E

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

And the Oscar goes to...Slumdog Millionaire
Am I the only one tired of hearing about this film? I think it will win, but I'm holding out silent hope for a Bejamin Button upset in this and the Best Picture categories. I was thrilled when Crash won a few years ago. Still, Slumdog won the DGA Award, which almost always means Oscar will follow.

Best Picture
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

And the Oscar (despite my wishes) goes to...Slumdog Millionaire
I'm still hoping for a Benjamin Button upset, though, and I don't think it's completely out of the question.

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

And the Oscar goes to...Slumdog Millionaire
I think this is pretty much locked, and I'm OK with that. It would have to be a damn good screenplay to win all those awards, so I'm sticking by Slumdog for this one.

Writing (Original Screenplay)
Frozen River
In Bruges

And the Oscar (after much deliberation) goes to...In Bruges
If there's a wild card category this year, this one is it. I'm going with In Bruges, as this is one of the few categories that consistently recognizes comedy. Taking into account last year's winner, Juno, I think it's safe to bet on one with less hype. However, Happy-Go-Lucky and Wall-E have received their share of honors, and Milk is the only one nominated for Best Picture. Still, I'm going with In Bruges, which will either make me brilliantly correct or embarassingly wrong.

Art Direction
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
The Duchess
Revolutionary Road

And the Oscar goes to...The Duchess
Though The Dark Knight is certainly deserving, the Academy loves to reward period pieces in this category, as well as in Costume Design.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

And the Oscar goes to...The Dark Knight
I'm not just picking it because it's the only one I've seen, but typically movies with the kind of sequences like this film fare well in this category. Benjamin Button could take this one away, but I think The Dark Knight is more likely to get the prize.

Costume Design
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Duchess
Revolutionary Road

And the Oscar goes to...The Duchess
This one will be a close call, and the most likely spoilers are Australia and Revolutionary Road. However, big uncomfortable dresses usually have good odds at winning the statue, so I'm picking The Duchess.

Documentary Feature
The Betrayal (Nerakhoon)
Encounters at the End of the World
The Garden
Man on Wire
Trouble the Water

And the Oscar goes to...Man on Wire
I saw clips from this on The Colbert Report, and it is nothing short of impressive. It's already been honored at this year's BAFTAs.

Documentary Short
The Conscience of Nhem En
The Final Inch
Smile Pinki
The Witness - from the Balcony of Room 306

And the Oscar goes to...The Conscience of Nhem En
Reading synopses of these films, they all seem Oscar-worthy. I had a tough time deciding between this one, The Witness and Smile Pinki, but of all of these, The Conscience of Nhem En is the one I'd most like to watch, and that seems as good a reason as any.

Film Editing
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Slumdog Millionaire

And the Oscar goes to...The Dark Knight
Films with action sequences usually do well here, but I wouldn't be totally surprised if Slumdog pulls this one off, too.

Foreign Language Film
The Baader Meinhof Complex (Germany)
The Class (France)
Departures (Japan)
Revanche (Austria)
Waltz with Bashir (Israel)

And the Oscar (might) go to...The Baader Meinhof Complex
I've read synopses of these, and I'm really just making a somewhat-educated guess. I'm not betting on Israel because it's animated, but any of these films sound intriguing. Again, I'm going with what I'd like to see.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Hellboy II: The Golden Army

And the Oscar goes to...The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
This was a hard one, but using one actor to play so many different ages should be rewarded. I still think this one is a toss-up, but I'm leaning toward Benjamin Button, and hopefully the Academy will, too.

Music (Score)
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Slumdog Millionaire

And the Oscar goes to...Slumdog Millionaire
As much as I'd like to go for Benjamin Button, judging by the clips I've seen, Slumdog has less dialogue, making it's score a more vital part of the film. This is the same reason I picked Brokeback Mountain to win this category. The score takes you through the movie, filling in the quiet gaps. Though I haven't seen these films, Slumdog's score accomplished this in the few scenes I've watched.

Music (Song)
"Down to Earth" Wall-E
"Jai Ho" Slumdog Millionaire
"O Sava" Slumdog Millionaire
And the Oscar goes to...Wall-E
Slumdog has a risk of splitting it's vote, but it could still pull this off. However, animated films are usually front-runners in the song category, so I'm going with Wall-E

Short Film (Animated)
La Maison En Petits Cubes
This Way Up

And the Oscar goes to...Presto
First, who named these films? I'm just guessing here, going with the film with the cute rabbit. It sounds like it would be entertaining, though that lavatory one just might be weird enough to win.

Short Film (Live Action)
Auf Der Strecke (On the Line)
Manon on the Asphalt
New Boy
The Pig
Spielzeugland (Toyland)

And the Oscar goes to...Spielzeugland
I was going to go with Manon because of the dying girl, but I opted for the hard-to-pronounce Spielzeugland, and not just because I want to see the presenter stumble over the words. It's about a German boy who thinks his Jewish neighbors are going to Toyland. I'm sure it's heart-breaking and Oscar-worthy.

Sound Editing
The Dark Knight
Iron Man
Slumdog Millionaire

And the Oscar goes to...The Dark Knight
I debated between this, Wall-E and Iron Man, but I'm putting faith in the Batman. It could go to any of these nominees, really.

Sound Mixing
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Slumdog Millionaire

And the Oscar goes to...Wall-E
I can't believe I'm picking this, but I think it has a shot at a sound award. It's my dark horse pick of the night.

Visual Effects
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Iron Man

And the Oscar goes to...The Dark Knight
Iron Man definitely has a shot at this one, but The Dark Knight had some great effects, and the camera-work was superb.

Well, those are my picks. It won't be long until we know the actual results, and you can bet on a blog update then.

"If My Heart Could Beat It Would Break My Chest"

There's no better way to start a blog than with a reference to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical. I will make this quick, because once Oscar stuff starts, I will be unreachable, unless you're dead or on fire, in which case, stop, drop and roll, or stop haunting me.

I had a doctor visit Wednesday, and it cost $150 because I'm uninsured at the moment. Aetna has told me I can be reimbursed. Here's hoping it only takes two weeks, as they said on the phone. My doctor checked my ears, and said they look OK. She wants to do an MRI on my head, though, to be sure. I will be doing that the first week of March.

The real issue was my tachycardia. When I arrived, she had the nurse do my blood pressure and pulse standing first, then sitting. As I have mentioned before, my usual blood pressure is around 90/50, plus or minus 5 each way. My resting pulse is typically in the mid-70s.

Imagine our surprise, then, when standing my BP was about 120/80 and my pulse was 166. That would be a healthy pulse if I were three to six days old. Sitting, my BP was about 140/85 with a pulse of 133. What the hell happened? Suddenly I'm tachycardic and hypertensive?! My blood pressure has never been that's never even been 120/80 before, not even right before surgery!

I'm supposed to be off caffeine and chocolate until they can determine what's causing it. The doctor said it could be dehydration, but I've been drinking eight cups of water each day, and I've only been having on Mountain Dew. Now I'm having water and caffeine-free Mountain Dew, and I'm thanking my lucky stars there is a key lime pie downstairs.

Argh. I think the next time a doctor tells me I have to be off caffeine, (s)he should be required to spend the first 48 hours with me. It's only been since Thursday, and it is not fun. Also, my resting pulse is still between 120 and 130. The highest it's ever been is 223, but that was back before we knew you could make meth out of Sudafed.

Please bring non-chocolate desserts, and many fluids!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

We Are All Innocent...Except Blagojevich

I'm lying here listening to David Cook's version of "Innocent," and I'm finding that it is indeed inspirational and calming, as though listening to these lyrics long enough will make them come true.

Today I found out that I have joined the ranks of the uninsured. Can anyone provide an intelligent argument against socializing health care? Health is not a privilege. You don't earn it, and you shouldn't have to buy it. After many phone calls, I was told they would reinstate the insurance one time but I would have to pay the full balance before they would do so.

You know what makes it easier to pay the full balance? When I actually get a bill, or a phone call, or, hell, even a notice of impending cancellation. Instead, Vanderbilt called seeking insurance information, and then informed me that Aetna had cancelled my coverage. I spoke with a woman at Aetna who actually (gasp) gave me the mailing address and balance due. For the bargain price of $424.68, I can continue going to all of the health care professionals who overcharge me as though there were money coursing through my veins.

I've never typed the word "coursing" before. It looks weird.

I spoke to my doctor today, and we agreed that if the Center for Pelvic Health thinks it's a good idea to inject things into me, we might as well go ahead and try that. I guess they've run out of places to put scopes, so now it's time to just start sticking me with needles. I'm not a fan of needles that don't come with the bonus of a piercing or tattoo, but I guess I can handle this.

And although it does seem incredibly trivial at this juncture, I have roots, and I had to cancel my hair appointment last week because I can't afford it. My hair looks like hell, my eyebrows need to be waxed, and I've been having the longest string of "fat days" I've ever had.

Yes, I know I'm not fat. Skinny girls have fat days, too.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Best. Diagnosis. Ever.

I just had to blog this because it's too amusingly funny not to. I went to the Center for Pelvic Health (St. Thomas) today to get evaluated by some new specialists. The tests were the usual (pee in this cup, put your feet in these stirrups, etc.), but this one was new to me: While the nurse practitioner had her finger inside me (there's really no other way to put that) she asked me to squeeze it. I'm sorry, am I auditioning for a porno? After a few more things, she and the doctor determined that my pain is most likely musculoskeletal. They then went into several things they can do to "loosen up those muscles," including CT-guided nerve injections and muscle injections. Yep. My muscles are too tight. Now, where are those porno auditions?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

For Those Who Pray, Meditate, or Just Shout at the Heavens

Two people I love very much are going through some extremely difficult times right now. The first is Sarah, my sorority sister and dear friend. Her mother has brain cancer, and anyone who believes in a higher power needs to keep her family in their thoughts and prayers. The second is Kelli, a dear friend from high school. Her father was severely injured in a car accident, and she and her family need prayers of strength and hope. These two women are generous, kind souls, and they do not deserve the pain they are feeling. I hope that everyone who knows them tells them they are not alone.

This has put my own life into perspective. Sometimes I get lost in my struggles, and I forget all of the things I still have to be happy about. It seems like my current situation is pushing me to make a change, and maybe that's what I need. I'm passionate about so many things, and I think it's time I start focusing on them. I want to be a pastry chef, and maybe I need to just get out there and do it. I'm hoping to find a culinary school I can afford.

In the meantime, I guess I'll just keep on keepin' on as they say, and maybe I should start up my gratitude journal again. I wonder where that is. To all of my friends and family who have been supportive during my difficult times, and who continue to do so, I am forever grateful. Leslie, when I get better, you're definitely getting some free babysitting!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

A Week of Firsts

What a glorious week for not only the American people, but also for the people of the world. A great week for unheard voices, for the hopeless, and for the hopeful. A lot of firsts happened this week, and I'd like to address them now.

Tuesday was the first time Cheif Justice John Roberts swore in a President. It was also the first time he screwed it up. If you recall, I was against Roberts from the start. Take a walk down memory lane here: Aftershock.

It was Joe Biden's first time being sworn in as Vice President, and some will probably say the Inauguration was the first time he stopped talking for so long. I'm not one of those people. I like my VPs to be loquacious and informed. And as a shoutout to everyone who got sucked into this Joe the Plumber nonsense, I suggest a new moniker: Joe the Veep!

Tuesday, for the first time ever, we Inaugurated a President who wasn't white! Barack Obama is now our President, the first African-American to hold that office. He is indeed African-American, as his father was literally from Africa.

Typically, I'm not fond of the phrase, because it seems a bit ludicrous not to call us all Americans. I'm not a Welsh-American. My ancestors came over from Wales years ago, but I consider myself an American. Sure, I'm interested in my Welsh heritage, but it's heritage.

I'm certain this will be misconstrued by some, so let me clarify: I merely say this because I want us to get to a point where we no longer have to specify race when referring to people. Barack Obama is not just a great black man; he's a great man! It is his characteristics that make him great, his values, his rhetoric. Those same qualities in a man or woman of any decent would be just as noteworthy.

That being said, I also acknowledge that I am in no way qualified to speak for any group as a whole. Personally, I'd rather be called American. If you want to be called Welsh-American, or Anglo-American, or Martian-American or whatever, that is certainly your prerogative and your right.

Back to firsts, and pardon the previous diatribe. It's hard to stop me once I get going, and blogging can be a double-edged sword because the cadence and tone are not always apparent. It is far too easy to miscontrue written word at times, and yet I prefer it, despite how much talking I do.

Tuesday was also my first rectal exam. Yikes! When I was checking out at the doctor's office, I told the receptionist that I'd just had, "My first Obama rectal exam! Any my first Obama vaginal exam! And my first Obama Pap!"

Yes, my friends, I find the silver lining in everything. At any rate, I'd like for everyone to just think about what this week means. Can we finally put aside racial differences and truly see one another as equal Americans? Do we recognize the accomplishment we, as a nation, have made this week? Do we want to meet every new doctor ass-first?

I hope so. Well, except for that last one.

I'm currently working on "88 Lines about 44 Presidents," so please be patient.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Tuesday's Gone

Hail to the chief!

I've been hailing to the chief since Tuesday, and I don't think I'll stop anytime soon. He's done more good in the first two days than many can hope to accomplish in a lifetime. He's sent a clear message of transparency...oh God that sounds like a horrible pun and I really just typed it that way. If I were trying to make a pun, you'd know by it being funny.

Speaking of funny, I gave the receptionist at my doctor's office a good laugh Tuesday when I celebrated "My first Obama rectal exam!"

Yeah, I wish I were kidding. But enough about my ass, it's party time! Obama and Oscar nods in one week! Hot damn!

Coming soon: 88 Lines about 44 Presidents

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

The Time Has Come to Look for the Snowdens of Yesteryear

Yes, friends, that is correct. It is January, and every January, I read my favorite book, Catch-22, by the late great Joseph Heller. I've been doing this since my senior year of high school, so I guess that makes this the eighth year. Does anyone else think "eighth" looks really weird when you type/write it?

My freshman year of high school, I was in my journalism class when Bahar told us that several parents were attempting to have three books banned: Fahrenheit 451, Brave New World, and Catch-22. Naturally, I went out and bought all three. You know, come to think of it, the word "Fahrenheit" looks kind of weird, too. No, I'm not on drugs. At least, I'm not on any good mind-altering drugs. The Gabapentin, which I started again Monday, has some weird neurological side effects, and it occasionally makes me an idiot. These things happen.

The frustrating thing right now is that I can't find the book! I have three copies. One is at Vicki's (last year's reading was a bit delayed due to the giant shitstorm that was my life), one is here, and then I have the best thing I ever bought: a signed copy with gold-leaf pages. I don't read that copy. It's mostly just to look at. I bought it with my first Starbucks check.

So now, I must look for this book, which is going to be quite difficult considering my lack of mobility. Then, my friends, I will delve into the world of Yossarian, our favorite anti-hero.

TAINTed Love?

Best Headline Ever:

Can Obama Escape the Taint of Blagojevich?

Check it out here.

Moving on, good things have happened. My COBRA has been processed, and I am once again among the ranks of the insured! I got my meds finally, and it was only $10. Without insurance, it would have been $240. Capitalism in the health industry makes my soul die a little.

Last week, I got the SCARIEST BILL EVER. Apparently, I owe $24,000 and some change. I got a notice from a collection agency, but I never got an initial bill. I would have remembered a $24,000 bill. I nearly had a heart attack, but that would've been another $24,000.

That's all for now. I encourage anyone who reads this to harass me incessantly if I fail to update this daily. Please. I have the time, I just need a little push.