Best. Diagnosis. Ever.

I just had to blog this because it's too amusingly funny not to. I went to the Center for Pelvic Health (St. Thomas) today to get evaluated by some new specialists. The tests were the usual (pee in this cup, put your feet in these stirrups, etc.), but this one was new to me: While the nurse practitioner had her finger inside me (there's really no other way to put that) she asked me to squeeze it. I'm sorry, am I auditioning for a porno? After a few more things, she and the doctor determined that my pain is most likely musculoskeletal. They then went into several things they can do to "loosen up those muscles," including CT-guided nerve injections and muscle injections. Yep. My muscles are too tight. Now, where are those porno auditions?