So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish OR Adeo Quod Gratiae pro Totus Piscis Piscis

By the way, if you translate that line back into English using some Web site, you get "To approach and thanks for whole fish."

Why the Latin? I'm glad you asked thought I was weird. It's in honor of my Governor's School roommate, Heather, with whom I had a delicious lunch and conversation Thursday. Let's break it down by comparing our lives (keep in mind she graduated high school in 2000, one year ahead of yours truly).

Heather went to Vanderbilt.
I spent one semester at Emory before I ran screaming to MTSU.

Heather has a boyfriend named Adam.
I have a boyfr...OK, I don't have a boyfriend. But I used to date an Adam. Midway through our courtship, he wanted to revert back to his first name, Dietrich, but I refused to go through the ordeal of explaining to everyone I know that my boyfriend wanted to be called something else. This, oddly, was not the demise of our relationship.

Heather teaches Latin.
I took Latin, but I really only paid attention about half the time. The rest of the time was spent tallying the number of times our teacher repeated various words and phrases.

Heather has a degree.
I have attempted enough hours for a degree.

I'm sure as time wears on, I'll have many more comparisons.

Guess what today is? Pay day! Also, it's Friday, and that means we need to feast on the past few weeks. This will hopefully make up for all the time I missed. I owe you Feasts 100 - 103.

Oh yeah. The title: I've officially left Smyrna and spent my first day at the new Manchester store. It's a nice store. I'm excited.

Feast 100

Appetizer
On average, approximately how many times per day do you yawn?
Probably only once or twice. I'm not as shallow a breather as I once was.

Soup
What was your most memorable school field trip?
I had a blast at the jail in second grade.

Salad
Fill in the blank: I was extremely __________________ this week.
Introspective. Right. As opposed to all those other weeks when I completely ignore myself. That's my sarcatstic typing. At any rate, I was introspective this week.

Main Course
Which color do you think of when you hear the word "soothing"?
A fountain...oh shit, that's not a color. I like of toothpaste green, like pale mint. I guess it reminds me of Aloe or something.

Dessert
What is something that, if you had to, you could save up the money to buy within one month?
A new toothbrush, and some work socks and pants.

Feast 101

Appetizer
When was the last time you visited a hospital?
I was in the Emergency Room a few weeks ago.

Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how ambitious are you?
I think I vary between 8 and 9.5.

Salad
Make a sentence using the letters of a body part. (Example: (mouth) My other ukelele tings healthily.)
I'm going to choose everyone's favorite body part to scope out: Cervix. By the way, I had to backspace because I accidentally typed "boy part" - that would've been funny.
Could everyone resist violating innocent xylophones?

Main Course
If you were to start a club, what would the subject matter be, and what would you name it?
I'd start a Buffy club I guess, and I'd name it Staked, and the "t" would look like a cross.

Dessert
What color is the carpet/flooring in your home?
Beige.

Feast 102

Appetizer
Name one thing nice that you could do for someone else today.
I'm not going to see anyone else today, except for Salazar. I'll take him out of the cage and play with him, provided he's not still moody like he was last night. If that doesn't work, I guess I'll just pay a bill. That tends to please people.

Soup
When was the last time you were frightened by the weather?
Today. I was driving home from Manchester and the wind was blowing my car out of the lane. I called my dad to get a weather update.

Salad
What would you say is the most useful website or blog that you visit?
Google.

Main Course
Who was your favorite singer/group when you were a child?
Either Exile or The New Kids on the Block. Or Tiffany. I loved her.

Dessert
Do you have any rituals? If so, what are they?
Yes. On the third day of every month, I sacrifice a virgin. It's a little messy. OK, I do have one I actually do: Every time I count in at work, I face all the bills in the safe, in all the tills (if I open or close), and I count all the clips. I'm a little Rain Man-ish when it comes to money.

And finally, Feast 103.

Appetizer
Fill in the blanks: I ____________ when I _____________.
I take off my bra when I get home in the summer. It's usually the first thing I do because my car is so hot.

Soup
Name something you use to make your home smell good.
Incense, usually China Rain.

Salad
If you could receive a coupon in the mail for 50% off any product, what would you want it to be for?
A new car.

Main Course
Besides sleeping, what do you spend the majority of the hours of your typical day doing?
Working.

Dessert
What can you hear right now while answering these questions?
The hum of computers, and my click-clack typing on this godforsaken keyboard.