A Few Things That Are Pissing Me Off: Republican Edition

I've been camped out in bed for months now, so chances are, if it's on TV, I've seen it. All of this campaigning has really got me thinking, which, of course, means I'm voting Obama/Biden. The McCain campaign has gone from bad to worse, and instead of opting to bow out gracefully, he's going to end up being dragged away kicking and screaming.

Let's start with Joe the Plumber, a man who is neither a Joe nor a (licensed) plumber. McCain is staking his campaign on this man he has admittedly never met. This latest batch of ads has a barrage of people saying, "I'm Joe the Plumber." No, you are not! Joe the Plumber isn't even Joe the Plumber! You're Rita the Republican or Peter the Pro-Lifer. All of this is reminiscent of those "I am Tiger Woods" commercials. The difference is, people want to be Tiger Woods. He's a role model, a public figure, a successful athlete. He's not some schmuck who owes back taxes and got dragged into the campaign against his will. McCain is hoping we will just ignore this, I guess, and keep buying into this false everyday hero nonsense. He might as well start harping about Puff the Magic Dragon. It sure sounds like someone in the McCain camp did just that.

Moving on, let's address McCain's friends. According to McCain, anyone who owns a television is his friend. I like to call things of this nature "security phrases" - things we say repeatedly, usually without realizing it, in order to reassure ourselves and return to our comfort zones. I know, Barack has one, too, but didn't you read the title? This is the Republican edition. I'll get into the Democrats, later, because we've got issues, too. When McCain doesn't know what he's saying, or when he's afraid that just saying it is going to sound, well, idiotic, he throws in "my friends." I guess he wants to elicit a response along the lines of, "Awww, McCain is my friend! Who cares what he stands for? He's my friend!" I've got news for you - McCain is not your friend. He's a politician. He's playing the game, trying to get votes, just like anyone else who's ever run for President.

Now I'd like to talk about taxes and spending, two things Republicans love talking about. I don't know who can be dumb enough to think that, in the current disaster that is our economy, we can keep going at our current rate without raising taxes. We're going to have to cut spending, and if we can't cut enough of it, get out your checkbooks, folks, it's time to ante up. If you don't want to pay taxes, you're living in the wrong country. Taxes pay for all those things we take for granted, like roads, police officers, fire departments, and other such service we've become so accustomed to having. If we didn't have taxes, we'd have no one to uphold all those laws we like to pass, and we'd have no one to pass them. Think of it as a giant homeowners' association or a Sam's Club. You've got to pay your membership fees to enjoy the perks. I suppose if you want to forgo police officers and just hope civil unrest doesn't happen, maybe we can discuss this tax issue again. Until then, it's time to start acting like an adult. You can't always get what you want, but you shouldn't be bitching for getting what you need.

Finally, I'm going to spend a few minutes on Palin. Granted, there could be a whole blog about this, so I'm only going to hit the highlights. First, sorry GOP, but I don't vote for a candidate because of gender, and neither will Hillary supporters. That ship has sailed. We've had eight years of dealing with a complete imbecile in the White House, and we aren't going to pass the torch to another administration that doesn't have even the slightest chance of not completely running this country further into the ground.

Running Palin on the notion that "she's just like me" is stupid. For starters, Palin is nothing like me, other than perhaps we have the same natural hair color, and we are both female, but she is far from a feminist. She sets women back decades with her complete incompetence. Who can't name a newspaper she reads daily? Who goes into an interview without having the slightest clue what the Bush Doctrine is? Who accepts a position for a job when she doesn't even know what that job is, which she said back in July.

Second, even if she were just like me, that certainly doesn't qualify her to be Vice President or President. I want someone better than me, and I'm certainly not the bottom of the genetic barrel. I want an active progressive, someone who isn't afraid to stand up for what is unpopular when it is right. I want someone with a terminal degree, or at least a couple of degrees. I want someone respected by more than just the state that elected her, and I want someone willing to talk about more than just that state. I want someone who keeps up-to-date on world affairs. I want a leader, not a power-hungry governor who uses her special needs child to get votes. That is shameful. She is shameful, and it's time we sent a clear message that to be President of this country, you need to be a little more qualified than Palin or Joe the Plumber.

That's all for this edition of "A Few Things That Are Pissing Me Off." Stay tuned for more - I'm sure I'll think of something.