A Week of Firsts

What a glorious week for not only the American people, but also for the people of the world. A great week for unheard voices, for the hopeless, and for the hopeful. A lot of firsts happened this week, and I'd like to address them now.

Tuesday was the first time Cheif Justice John Roberts swore in a President. It was also the first time he screwed it up. If you recall, I was against Roberts from the start. Take a walk down memory lane here: Aftershock.

It was Joe Biden's first time being sworn in as Vice President, and some will probably say the Inauguration was the first time he stopped talking for so long. I'm not one of those people. I like my VPs to be loquacious and informed. And as a shoutout to everyone who got sucked into this Joe the Plumber nonsense, I suggest a new moniker: Joe the Veep!

Tuesday, for the first time ever, we Inaugurated a President who wasn't white! Barack Obama is now our President, the first African-American to hold that office. He is indeed African-American, as his father was literally from Africa.

Typically, I'm not fond of the phrase, because it seems a bit ludicrous not to call us all Americans. I'm not a Welsh-American. My ancestors came over from Wales years ago, but I consider myself an American. Sure, I'm interested in my Welsh heritage, but it's heritage.

I'm certain this will be misconstrued by some, so let me clarify: I merely say this because I want us to get to a point where we no longer have to specify race when referring to people. Barack Obama is not just a great black man; he's a great man! It is his characteristics that make him great, his values, his rhetoric. Those same qualities in a man or woman of any decent would be just as noteworthy.

That being said, I also acknowledge that I am in no way qualified to speak for any group as a whole. Personally, I'd rather be called American. If you want to be called Welsh-American, or Anglo-American, or Martian-American or whatever, that is certainly your prerogative and your right.

Back to firsts, and pardon the previous diatribe. It's hard to stop me once I get going, and blogging can be a double-edged sword because the cadence and tone are not always apparent. It is far too easy to miscontrue written word at times, and yet I prefer it, despite how much talking I do.

Tuesday was also my first rectal exam. Yikes! When I was checking out at the doctor's office, I told the receptionist that I'd just had, "My first Obama rectal exam! Any my first Obama vaginal exam! And my first Obama Pap!"

Yes, my friends, I find the silver lining in everything. At any rate, I'd like for everyone to just think about what this week means. Can we finally put aside racial differences and truly see one another as equal Americans? Do we recognize the accomplishment we, as a nation, have made this week? Do we want to meet every new doctor ass-first?

I hope so. Well, except for that last one.

I'm currently working on "88 Lines about 44 Presidents," so please be patient.

Tuesday's Gone

Hail to the chief!

I've been hailing to the chief since Tuesday, and I don't think I'll stop anytime soon. He's done more good in the first two days than many can hope to accomplish in a lifetime. He's sent a clear message of transparency...oh God that sounds like a horrible pun and I really just typed it that way. If I were trying to make a pun, you'd know by it being funny.

Speaking of funny, I gave the receptionist at my doctor's office a good laugh Tuesday when I celebrated "My first Obama rectal exam!"

Yeah, I wish I were kidding. But enough about my ass, it's party time! Obama and Oscar nods in one week! Hot damn!

Coming soon: 88 Lines about 44 Presidents

The Time Has Come to Look for the Snowdens of Yesteryear

Yes, friends, that is correct. It is January, and every January, I read my favorite book, Catch-22, by the late great Joseph Heller. I've been doing this since my senior year of high school, so I guess that makes this the eighth year. Does anyone else think "eighth" looks really weird when you type/write it?

My freshman year of high school, I was in my journalism class when Bahar told us that several parents were attempting to have three books banned: Fahrenheit 451, Brave New World, and Catch-22. Naturally, I went out and bought all three. You know, come to think of it, the word "Fahrenheit" looks kind of weird, too. No, I'm not on drugs. At least, I'm not on any good mind-altering drugs. The Gabapentin, which I started again Monday, has some weird neurological side effects, and it occasionally makes me an idiot. These things happen.

The frustrating thing right now is that I can't find the book! I have three copies. One is at Vicki's (last year's reading was a bit delayed due to the giant shitstorm that was my life), one is here, and then I have the best thing I ever bought: a signed copy with gold-leaf pages. I don't read that copy. It's mostly just to look at. I bought it with my first Starbucks check.

So now, I must look for this book, which is going to be quite difficult considering my lack of mobility. Then, my friends, I will delve into the world of Yossarian, our favorite anti-hero.

TAINTed Love?

Best Headline Ever:

Can Obama Escape the Taint of Blagojevich?

Check it out here.

Moving on, good things have happened. My COBRA has been processed, and I am once again among the ranks of the insured! I got my meds finally, and it was only $10. Without insurance, it would have been $240. Capitalism in the health industry makes my soul die a little.

Last week, I got the SCARIEST BILL EVER. Apparently, I owe $24,000 and some change. I got a notice from a collection agency, but I never got an initial bill. I would have remembered a $24,000 bill. I nearly had a heart attack, but that would've been another $24,000.

That's all for now. I encourage anyone who reads this to harass me incessantly if I fail to update this daily. Please. I have the time, I just need a little push.