"Blue Valentine" Overrated...by the MPAA

I saw Blue Valentine Saturday night, and I thought it was genius. That's not what this blog is about. I remember before it opened there was a big ordeal about the rating. Initially, it was given an NC-17. I'm happy to say they appealed the decision, and the film was given an R rating. Without changing anything. Which begs the question, what in this film would prompt an NC-17 rating?

It turns out, my idea is right on par with Ryan Gosling's, one of the film's stars. The most objectionable part of this film is...wait for it..SEX! Sex! You know, the thing that got us all here. But I'm not talking your typical plain vanilla romp is the sack. Nope, we're talking oral sex here! Horrifying!

Now, I know what you're thinking: oral sex is in TONS of movies with R ratings. I can't even count the number of blowjobs or blowjob references in various movies I've seen over the years. So what was wrong with this film's oral sex scene? It involved a man performing oral sex on a woman. THE HORROR!

Yes, apparently our moral compass thinks it's OK to showcase a man receiving oral sex in a movie, but not a woman. And actually, that's not entirely accurate - Black Swan got an R rating, but that's because it was a lesbian scene and, as well all know, it's OK because a lot of guys think it's hot.

This just infuriates me. A woman enjoying a sex act meant to focus solely on her pleasure is somehow more offensive than, say, a rape scene or a scene of extreme violence? When I think of something worthy of an NC-17 rating (which replaced the X rating in the '90s), I think of something like porn - you know, hardcore close-ups of real people bumping genitals. And I'd classify a video of Osama bin Laden getting shot in the face worthy of that rating as well.

But ACTORS in a sex scene of a married couple enjoying a sex act - come on, there are worse things to watch.