Sunday, September 12, 2004

These People Got the Bronze in the Human Race

I liked my last list blog so much that I decided to create another one, this one devoted solely to the many types of people who annoy me. Enjoy.

People I Can Do Without:
  • Parents who let their undisciplined children run rampant through my store dripping sweet and sour frooze pops on everything in sight. I know you think it's cute, but it's not cute enough to outweigh the annoyance that I incur while trying to rid the Bubble Tape of the sticky goo. There are reasons why these things come with lids. Wait until you're safe inside your power-door convertible backseat minivan to rip that sucker open. In fact, kids shouldn't be handling any product that includes the words "sticky goo" without a helmet and adult supervision. You know, the whole "Keep out of the reach of children" really ought to apply to those neon-colored sugar fixes, too. Oh, and don't eat the silicon. It's not good for you.
  • Anyone willing to argue for more than 10 minutes about a late fee less than 10 dollars. Get a life. Deal with it. You know, think of all the times you thought you had a late fee but didn't. I mean, really, you're balancing out.
  • Any professor who expects you to do anything other than sleep in on a holiday weekend. Your class is important, but it is not the only class I have, and when it's Labor Day weekend, as far as I'm concerned, I have no classes. Just think, the less you make me do, the less you have to do. Everybody wins!
  • Anyone who calls me on my off day for a reason other than death or near death or disaster of some sort. The longest I do without work is one day off. It can wait. I know you don't think it can, but it can. Trust me. I know these things. You don't want to hear the type of solution I'm going to come up with at 9:27 a.m. on my day off. For all intents and purposes, I don't exist between the hours of 5 a.m. and 1 p.m. During those times, I cease to be.

Well, hopefully I've regained some blog respect after my last sub-par entry. But just in case that list didn't do it: Joey is still cool.

No comments: