Saturday, November 11, 2006

We Interrupt This Car Payment to Bring You An Eviction

Woohoo! In the endless cycle of suck that is my life, I got a little notice on my door today. As you probably recall, I have this cat who is a complete bastard, and this cat likes to wreak havoc on my apartment while I'm at work. Or at the store. Or doing laundry. Pretty much whenever I'm not there.

He is especially good at terrorizing the place right before the people come to spray for bugs or something, as they tend to do.

Well, this cat bastard is causing unsanitary conditions. No shit! That's why I keep calling him a bastard. As soon as a clean up after his bastard self, he goes and terrorizes something else, or pees on my bed, or rips up the garbage and drags it all across the apartment. Then I clean up after him. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Anyway, I have been trying to get rid of this cat for at least a month. I can't seem to get in touch with anyone at any humane society, and if I do, they're not taking cats.

I have two weeks. Two weeks to get rid of the bastard cat, at which point I'll be able to clean my apartment (again), but this time it will stay clean.

Otherwise, I'm getting evicted.

Fuck. This. Shit.

For those who are just tuning in, this is me giving up. This is me losing all hope and any type of control. I am officially declaring myself a failure at all things that don't involve racking up debt or overusing the word "bastard."

And, just for those wondering, of course I always pay my rent on time.

So let's recap: I'm buying a car (yay), I might be getting evicted (not yay), and I have a cat to get rid of.

Fuck. This. Shit. Again.

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