Flame-Retardant Classes OR Tore up from the Floor Up

Well, it'd be the biggest understatement of my short yet brilliant blogging career if I said I had a bad night.

However, due to some pesky bylaws, I really can't go into too much detail about it on here, but feel free to e-mail me. I'll be more than happy to give you the rundown using colorful language and, well, that's it - just colorful language.

Suffice it to say that it was a rough night consisting of about 30 minutes of sleep, after which I embarked on a journey into the wonderful world of coffee that is Starbucks. After working approximately two hours past my posted leaving time, I went to Brandy Is Awesome's (yeah, I call her that - check out my phone if you don't believe me) for some much-needed R&R. I woke up sometime after dark. Thanks to all those I work with for not calling me - it's much obliged.

On my way back from work, I was talking to Erica about my crazy night after I filled her in on our meeting storming and grandstanding in the Mass Comm. Building yesterday. I was contemplating whether or not to blog about my night, and she suggested I write it down on paper. I thoroughly enjoyed this idea, especially when I mentioned lighting it on fire and throwing it at someone.

Just as dreams of arson and manslaughter were dancing in my head, I passed a Smyrna Fire Dept. truck with the phrase "Learn Not to Burn" on the tailgate. I'm totally serious about that - I can't make this shit up. I told Erica of this seemingly divine intervention, and she responded by saying she'd start taking flame-retardant classes. Good for her. And remember, always stop, drop, and roll if you ever do find yourself on fire.

I actually mentioned this stop, drop, and roll thing to Stephanie today. She's our ASM, and the perfect segue into my most amusing moment of the day. We were discussing something, during which she used the phrase "Tore up from the floor up," which completely made my day being as though I thought it was the funniest thing I'd heard in a while, and that's saying something, considering our April Fools issue came out today.

JR blogged today, and it's quite good, as usual. He mentioned some songs, which seems like a good way to end this, and I was actually thinking of starting to post song lyrics of the day. Sweet. Now I can do it and appear like a mindless sheep all at once! Bitchin!

Today's song lyrics come from the latest CD I bought (by the Postal Service), which is sadly still in Mannix, my dead car from a few blogs ago. A brief moment of silence for Mannix, and now this.

The song is "Nothing Better," and it's pretty much the best breakup song ever (the first verse sung by a man, the second by a woman), and while I don't currently need a breakup song, the imagery is definitely worth mentioning:

Could someone please call a surgeon
Who could crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That you're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over
I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry

So just say how to make it right
And I swear I'll do my best to comply

Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together

I feel must interject here you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself
With these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why I have to leave

So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling I love you so

Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures

I admit that I have made mistakes and I swear
I'll never wrong you again
You've got a lure I can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye

I think I'll end with that.