So I haven't blogged in a while. I have no Internet. And I really don't know why I'm blogging now because I have a mild concussion. I hit my head. With a migraine.
Now I know what it's like to be stupid. I keep saying stupid things, I don't have complete function of my brain, because I can't seem to grasp addition and counting as well as I used to. But it is kind of fun being a complete spaz for a day.
I'm getting a catten tomorrow! Soon after, I'll get some Internet, and then it'll be go time!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Saturday, August 05, 2006
The Best Week Ever (Not the TV Show)
Yes, my friends, after much bad karma and bad luck, I have had the best week I have had in several years, despite the fact that I didn't get paid. More on that later.
Monday I was off. That was nice. Tuesday I had District Panel, which is a pre-panel. Panel is Starbucks' way of promoting for MIT (manager in training). You go before a panel of higher-ups, and they interview you for 45 minutes or so. If you pass, you get promoted. My District Panel went really well - apparently everyone was talking about how well at did at the District Meeting the next day. It went so well that they sent me to the real panel - Region Panel - on Thursday.
Thursday night, during our Friends and Family, Lavonne, our DM, called out, "Everybody stop what you're doing right now!" Naturally, everyone did, and then she said, "We all need to congratulate Wendy on her promotion!" And there were cheers, and we were merry.
What does this mean? Well, for starters, I get a hefty pay raise. It will probably be about double what I make now. I'll be on salary, but I'll also get overtime. I get to go to the district meetings and be on the conference call and maybe, in a year or so, I'll be managing a store.
I'm also getting my car back!
Remember back when Mannix died? Well, my dad got a new job (first and second interviews the same day as mine, actually), so he needs a car. My mom decided it would be cheaper to resurrect Mannix than to buy a new car. I asked for it back. She resisted. I asked my dad, and he said he didn't care, and that means...
NEXT WEEK I'LL HAVE AIR CONDITIONER! AND MY 10-DISC CD CHANGER, AND A FUNCTIONING SUN ROOF!
I took my driver's test in that car. I love it! Even though the windows still leave about half an inch open if you roll them all the way up.
Oh yeah - not getting paid. During the last pay period, I was working out of three different stores. I only got paid for the 8 hours I worked in Smyrna, and I freaked out because rent is due. I called my manager at 6 p.m. (4 in Seattle, thank God). They are over-nighting me a check. They offered to do a cash advance, but I didn't want to leave the store with a lot of cash last night - it was after midnight. So all is well.
Monday I was off. That was nice. Tuesday I had District Panel, which is a pre-panel. Panel is Starbucks' way of promoting for MIT (manager in training). You go before a panel of higher-ups, and they interview you for 45 minutes or so. If you pass, you get promoted. My District Panel went really well - apparently everyone was talking about how well at did at the District Meeting the next day. It went so well that they sent me to the real panel - Region Panel - on Thursday.
Thursday night, during our Friends and Family, Lavonne, our DM, called out, "Everybody stop what you're doing right now!" Naturally, everyone did, and then she said, "We all need to congratulate Wendy on her promotion!" And there were cheers, and we were merry.
What does this mean? Well, for starters, I get a hefty pay raise. It will probably be about double what I make now. I'll be on salary, but I'll also get overtime. I get to go to the district meetings and be on the conference call and maybe, in a year or so, I'll be managing a store.
I'm also getting my car back!
Remember back when Mannix died? Well, my dad got a new job (first and second interviews the same day as mine, actually), so he needs a car. My mom decided it would be cheaper to resurrect Mannix than to buy a new car. I asked for it back. She resisted. I asked my dad, and he said he didn't care, and that means...
NEXT WEEK I'LL HAVE AIR CONDITIONER! AND MY 10-DISC CD CHANGER, AND A FUNCTIONING SUN ROOF!
I took my driver's test in that car. I love it! Even though the windows still leave about half an inch open if you roll them all the way up.
Oh yeah - not getting paid. During the last pay period, I was working out of three different stores. I only got paid for the 8 hours I worked in Smyrna, and I freaked out because rent is due. I called my manager at 6 p.m. (4 in Seattle, thank God). They are over-nighting me a check. They offered to do a cash advance, but I didn't want to leave the store with a lot of cash last night - it was after midnight. So all is well.
Monday, July 31, 2006
"Are you still dating that girl?"
No, I'm not, to answer the weirdest question I was asked Saturday. In fact, I'm not entirely sure who "that girl" is, and the time that we allegedly dated escapes me, but, to be all formal and answer, I am not still dating this imaginary girl.
I'm also not dating the beautiful bass player from the Hendersonville Starbucks. He's gay, much to my surprise, as well as the surprise and utter amusement of Michael, who broke the news to me in a fit of laughter. The Michael - she's a kidder. Yes, it's a she.
I'm not dating your mother, either, but I might be using her for sex.
OK, so I'm sorry. I've been neglecting you, and it's because I've been really busy. I even missed my yearly Kevin Spacey celebration (I think he's a really good actor).
The air conditioning went out at my apartment a week ago, and I spent the better part of my afternoon and evening trying to convince myself that 87 degrees isn't really that hot.
I have district panel tomorrow, so I'll spend today - my only day off this week - freaking out about it, busying myself with such menial tasks as my resume and tidying the apartment.
Yesterday I enjoyed a lazy afternoon with Heather, during which we watched nearly the entire first season of Weeds. I had a dream about smoking pot from some homemade Survivoresque pipe constructed from feathers. I'm not sure how that worked, but it did.
I've managed to work out air conditioned transportation for my interview at the Belle Meade store tomorrow. I'm using my sister's car - she's in New Orleans for the week. I'm not supposed to tell my mom. I don't see how it matters, but I'm playing along.
I had some potentially bad news: Once school starts, I may not be able to be online for a while. I have no Internet at my apartment. Perhaps my wired friends will lend a hand.
Well, I'm off to check my 300 e-mails. Here's a feast for ya.
Appetizer
What's the funniest dream you can remember having?
The feather pot pipe was pretty entertaining.
Soup
If you were a dog, what breed would you be, and why?
I don't think I'd be a dog, and it's not a cop-out. I'm just not a dog person, and I know absolutely nothing about dogs, other than their needy, attention-starved nature and their uncanny ability to piss on the carpet. I'd be a puppy. Really any type of puppy would work.
Salad
Continue this sentence: "I get confused when..."
I take naps in the winter and wake up after sundown. It always takes me a second to figure out what day it is.
Main Course
Name two things that need to be done, but you are procrastinating in completing.
My resume and cleaning my kitchen. And laundry. OK, so I'm a procrastinator. I also need to feed Salazar.
Dessert
When was the last time you tried something new, and what was it?
Malibu and Dr. Pepper, at Heather's last Tuesday. It was tasty.
I'm also not dating the beautiful bass player from the Hendersonville Starbucks. He's gay, much to my surprise, as well as the surprise and utter amusement of Michael, who broke the news to me in a fit of laughter. The Michael - she's a kidder. Yes, it's a she.
I'm not dating your mother, either, but I might be using her for sex.
OK, so I'm sorry. I've been neglecting you, and it's because I've been really busy. I even missed my yearly Kevin Spacey celebration (I think he's a really good actor).
The air conditioning went out at my apartment a week ago, and I spent the better part of my afternoon and evening trying to convince myself that 87 degrees isn't really that hot.
I have district panel tomorrow, so I'll spend today - my only day off this week - freaking out about it, busying myself with such menial tasks as my resume and tidying the apartment.
Yesterday I enjoyed a lazy afternoon with Heather, during which we watched nearly the entire first season of Weeds. I had a dream about smoking pot from some homemade Survivoresque pipe constructed from feathers. I'm not sure how that worked, but it did.
I've managed to work out air conditioned transportation for my interview at the Belle Meade store tomorrow. I'm using my sister's car - she's in New Orleans for the week. I'm not supposed to tell my mom. I don't see how it matters, but I'm playing along.
I had some potentially bad news: Once school starts, I may not be able to be online for a while. I have no Internet at my apartment. Perhaps my wired friends will lend a hand.
Well, I'm off to check my 300 e-mails. Here's a feast for ya.
Appetizer
What's the funniest dream you can remember having?
The feather pot pipe was pretty entertaining.
Soup
If you were a dog, what breed would you be, and why?
I don't think I'd be a dog, and it's not a cop-out. I'm just not a dog person, and I know absolutely nothing about dogs, other than their needy, attention-starved nature and their uncanny ability to piss on the carpet. I'd be a puppy. Really any type of puppy would work.
Salad
Continue this sentence: "I get confused when..."
I take naps in the winter and wake up after sundown. It always takes me a second to figure out what day it is.
Main Course
Name two things that need to be done, but you are procrastinating in completing.
My resume and cleaning my kitchen. And laundry. OK, so I'm a procrastinator. I also need to feed Salazar.
Dessert
When was the last time you tried something new, and what was it?
Malibu and Dr. Pepper, at Heather's last Tuesday. It was tasty.
Friday, July 21, 2006
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish OR Adeo Quod Gratiae pro Totus Piscis Piscis
By the way, if you translate that line back into English using some Web site, you get "To approach and thanks for whole fish."
Why the Latin? I'm glad youasked thought I was weird. It's in honor of my Governor's School roommate, Heather, with whom I had a delicious lunch and conversation Thursday. Let's break it down by comparing our lives (keep in mind she graduated high school in 2000, one year ahead of yours truly).
Heather went to Vanderbilt.
I spent one semester at Emory before I ran screaming to MTSU.
Heather has a boyfriend named Adam.
I have a boyfr...OK, I don't have a boyfriend. But I used to date an Adam. Midway through our courtship, he wanted to revert back to his first name, Dietrich, but I refused to go through the ordeal of explaining to everyone I know that my boyfriend wanted to be called something else. This, oddly, was not the demise of our relationship.
Heather teaches Latin.
I took Latin, but I really only paid attention about half the time. The rest of the time was spent tallying the number of times our teacher repeated various words and phrases.
Heather has a degree.
I have attempted enough hours for a degree.
I'm sure as time wears on, I'll have many more comparisons.
Guess what today is? Pay day! Also, it's Friday, and that means we need to feast on the past few weeks. This will hopefully make up for all the time I missed. I owe you Feasts 100 - 103.
Oh yeah. The title: I've officially left Smyrna and spent my first day at the new Manchester store. It's a nice store. I'm excited.
Feast 100
Appetizer
On average, approximately how many times per day do you yawn?
Probably only once or twice. I'm not as shallow a breather as I once was.
Soup
What was your most memorable school field trip?
I had a blast at the jail in second grade.
Salad
Fill in the blank: I was extremely __________________ this week.
Introspective. Right. As opposed to all those other weeks when I completely ignore myself. That's my sarcatstic typing. At any rate, I was introspective this week.
Main Course
Which color do you think of when you hear the word "soothing"?
A fountain...oh shit, that's not a color. I like of toothpaste green, like pale mint. I guess it reminds me of Aloe or something.
Dessert
What is something that, if you had to, you could save up the money to buy within one month?
A new toothbrush, and some work socks and pants.
Feast 101
Appetizer
When was the last time you visited a hospital?
I was in the Emergency Room a few weeks ago.
Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how ambitious are you?
I think I vary between 8 and 9.5.
Salad
Make a sentence using the letters of a body part. (Example: (mouth) My other ukelele tings healthily.)
I'm going to choose everyone's favorite body part to scope out: Cervix. By the way, I had to backspace because I accidentally typed "boy part" - that would've been funny.
Could everyone resist violating innocent xylophones?
Main Course
If you were to start a club, what would the subject matter be, and what would you name it?
I'd start a Buffy club I guess, and I'd name it Staked, and the "t" would look like a cross.
Dessert
What color is the carpet/flooring in your home?
Beige.
Feast 102
Appetizer
Name one thing nice that you could do for someone else today.
I'm not going to see anyone else today, except for Salazar. I'll take him out of the cage and play with him, provided he's not still moody like he was last night. If that doesn't work, I guess I'll just pay a bill. That tends to please people.
Soup
When was the last time you were frightened by the weather?
Today. I was driving home from Manchester and the wind was blowing my car out of the lane. I called my dad to get a weather update.
Salad
What would you say is the most useful website or blog that you visit?
Google.
Main Course
Who was your favorite singer/group when you were a child?
Either Exile or The New Kids on the Block. Or Tiffany. I loved her.
Dessert
Do you have any rituals? If so, what are they?
Yes. On the third day of every month, I sacrifice a virgin. It's a little messy. OK, I do have one I actually do: Every time I count in at work, I face all the bills in the safe, in all the tills (if I open or close), and I count all the clips. I'm a little Rain Man-ish when it comes to money.
And finally, Feast 103.
Appetizer
Fill in the blanks: I ____________ when I _____________.
I take off my bra when I get home in the summer. It's usually the first thing I do because my car is so hot.
Soup
Name something you use to make your home smell good.
Incense, usually China Rain.
Salad
If you could receive a coupon in the mail for 50% off any product, what would you want it to be for?
A new car.
Main Course
Besides sleeping, what do you spend the majority of the hours of your typical day doing?
Working.
Dessert
What can you hear right now while answering these questions?
The hum of computers, and my click-clack typing on this godforsaken keyboard.
Why the Latin? I'm glad you
Heather went to Vanderbilt.
I spent one semester at Emory before I ran screaming to MTSU.
Heather has a boyfriend named Adam.
I have a boyfr...OK, I don't have a boyfriend. But I used to date an Adam. Midway through our courtship, he wanted to revert back to his first name, Dietrich, but I refused to go through the ordeal of explaining to everyone I know that my boyfriend wanted to be called something else. This, oddly, was not the demise of our relationship.
Heather teaches Latin.
I took Latin, but I really only paid attention about half the time. The rest of the time was spent tallying the number of times our teacher repeated various words and phrases.
Heather has a degree.
I have attempted enough hours for a degree.
I'm sure as time wears on, I'll have many more comparisons.
Guess what today is? Pay day! Also, it's Friday, and that means we need to feast on the past few weeks. This will hopefully make up for all the time I missed. I owe you Feasts 100 - 103.
Oh yeah. The title: I've officially left Smyrna and spent my first day at the new Manchester store. It's a nice store. I'm excited.
Feast 100
Appetizer
On average, approximately how many times per day do you yawn?
Probably only once or twice. I'm not as shallow a breather as I once was.
Soup
What was your most memorable school field trip?
I had a blast at the jail in second grade.
Salad
Fill in the blank: I was extremely __________________ this week.
Introspective. Right. As opposed to all those other weeks when I completely ignore myself. That's my sarcatstic typing. At any rate, I was introspective this week.
Main Course
Which color do you think of when you hear the word "soothing"?
A fountain...oh shit, that's not a color. I like of toothpaste green, like pale mint. I guess it reminds me of Aloe or something.
Dessert
What is something that, if you had to, you could save up the money to buy within one month?
A new toothbrush, and some work socks and pants.
Feast 101
Appetizer
When was the last time you visited a hospital?
I was in the Emergency Room a few weeks ago.
Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how ambitious are you?
I think I vary between 8 and 9.5.
Salad
Make a sentence using the letters of a body part. (Example: (mouth) My other ukelele tings healthily.)
I'm going to choose everyone's favorite body part to scope out: Cervix. By the way, I had to backspace because I accidentally typed "boy part" - that would've been funny.
Could everyone resist violating innocent xylophones?
Main Course
If you were to start a club, what would the subject matter be, and what would you name it?
I'd start a Buffy club I guess, and I'd name it Staked, and the "t" would look like a cross.
Dessert
What color is the carpet/flooring in your home?
Beige.
Feast 102
Appetizer
Name one thing nice that you could do for someone else today.
I'm not going to see anyone else today, except for Salazar. I'll take him out of the cage and play with him, provided he's not still moody like he was last night. If that doesn't work, I guess I'll just pay a bill. That tends to please people.
Soup
When was the last time you were frightened by the weather?
Today. I was driving home from Manchester and the wind was blowing my car out of the lane. I called my dad to get a weather update.
Salad
What would you say is the most useful website or blog that you visit?
Google.
Main Course
Who was your favorite singer/group when you were a child?
Either Exile or The New Kids on the Block. Or Tiffany. I loved her.
Dessert
Do you have any rituals? If so, what are they?
Yes. On the third day of every month, I sacrifice a virgin. It's a little messy. OK, I do have one I actually do: Every time I count in at work, I face all the bills in the safe, in all the tills (if I open or close), and I count all the clips. I'm a little Rain Man-ish when it comes to money.
And finally, Feast 103.
Appetizer
Fill in the blanks: I ____________ when I _____________.
I take off my bra when I get home in the summer. It's usually the first thing I do because my car is so hot.
Soup
Name something you use to make your home smell good.
Incense, usually China Rain.
Salad
If you could receive a coupon in the mail for 50% off any product, what would you want it to be for?
A new car.
Main Course
Besides sleeping, what do you spend the majority of the hours of your typical day doing?
Working.
Dessert
What can you hear right now while answering these questions?
The hum of computers, and my click-clack typing on this godforsaken keyboard.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Separation Anxiety OR Mutant Cicadas Beware
I turned in my store and safe keys today. Weird. I'm going to Manchester on Friday, and we open two weeks after that. It's all a little strange, and I never thought it'd be so hard and exciting to change stores.
Friday I did something I never thought I'd do - I drank to feel better. It's odd when you realize you still have the ability to scare yourself. I'm not really sure what to make of it. I'm trying not to think too hard about it.
I've also tried not to think too hard about how dangerously close the poverty line and I are. I'm trying not to think.
I had a battle with a mutant cicada last night! And by "battle" I mean "refusing to enter my apartment and calling my manly man friends to kill it."
Seriously, this bug was freaky. And now it's dead.
I'm seriously considering changing my major and becoming an oncologist. More on this later.
I'm seriously overusing the word seriously. Seriously.
I'll be interesting later, but for now, let's have a song of the day: "How to Save a Life" by the Fray.
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
Friday I did something I never thought I'd do - I drank to feel better. It's odd when you realize you still have the ability to scare yourself. I'm not really sure what to make of it. I'm trying not to think too hard about it.
I've also tried not to think too hard about how dangerously close the poverty line and I are. I'm trying not to think.
I had a battle with a mutant cicada last night! And by "battle" I mean "refusing to enter my apartment and calling my manly man friends to kill it."
Seriously, this bug was freaky. And now it's dead.
I'm seriously considering changing my major and becoming an oncologist. More on this later.
I'm seriously overusing the word seriously. Seriously.
I'll be interesting later, but for now, let's have a song of the day: "How to Save a Life" by the Fray.
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
Saturday, June 24, 2006
"I like what she said, but not what it means"
So I've been looking 'round the Internet for something not depressing, and I found an interesting meme that looks fun, so, you know, sorry if it sucks, but did you really want to read more whining? I didn't think so. I'm also adding a line or two of lyrics, just for kicks.
Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY IN SONG TITLES by that band (you pick your own band or artist)
Artist/band: Counting Crows (my favorite band - I can't wait to see them in August!)
Are you male or female: I Wish I Was a Girl
For all the things I'm losing
I might as well resign myself to try and make a change
And I'm going down to Hollywood
They're gonna make a movie
From the things that they find crawling round my brain
Describe yourself: A Murder of One
I've been watching you for hours
It's been years since we were born
We were perfect when we started
I've been wondering where we've gone
How do some people feel about you: Love and Addiction
This picture you see is nothing like the one I wanted painted of me
How do you feel about yourself: Butterfly in Reverse
And everything that hurts you
Gets stuffed up inside you
Like butterflies with wings
And other perfect things
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: If I Could Give All My Love (or Richard Manuel Is Dead)
You were sleeping next to me
But I knew that you'd be gone
Describe where you want to be: Goin' Down to New York Town
Well I feel just like a freight train baby, running out of steam
I wanna go on down to New York town, but I'm stuck in between
And I could stay on here at home alone and have myself to thank
But I just made a billion dollars, and I don't wanna put it in the bank
Describe what you want to be: A Mona Lisa
All I want to say
Is everything's all right and I'm OK
Describe how you live: She Don't Want Nobody Near
She don't want no one around
Cause she don't want anybody to see
What she looks like when she's down
Cause that's a really sad place to be
Describe how you love: We're Only Love
We're only love, at it's best or worst
Share a few words of wisdom: Shallow Days
I like what she said, but not what it means
Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY IN SONG TITLES by that band (you pick your own band or artist)
Artist/band: Counting Crows (my favorite band - I can't wait to see them in August!)
Are you male or female: I Wish I Was a Girl
For all the things I'm losing
I might as well resign myself to try and make a change
And I'm going down to Hollywood
They're gonna make a movie
From the things that they find crawling round my brain
Describe yourself: A Murder of One
I've been watching you for hours
It's been years since we were born
We were perfect when we started
I've been wondering where we've gone
How do some people feel about you: Love and Addiction
This picture you see is nothing like the one I wanted painted of me
How do you feel about yourself: Butterfly in Reverse
And everything that hurts you
Gets stuffed up inside you
Like butterflies with wings
And other perfect things
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: If I Could Give All My Love (or Richard Manuel Is Dead)
You were sleeping next to me
But I knew that you'd be gone
Describe where you want to be: Goin' Down to New York Town
Well I feel just like a freight train baby, running out of steam
I wanna go on down to New York town, but I'm stuck in between
And I could stay on here at home alone and have myself to thank
But I just made a billion dollars, and I don't wanna put it in the bank
Describe what you want to be: A Mona Lisa
All I want to say
Is everything's all right and I'm OK
Describe how you live: She Don't Want Nobody Near
She don't want no one around
Cause she don't want anybody to see
What she looks like when she's down
Cause that's a really sad place to be
Describe how you love: We're Only Love
We're only love, at it's best or worst
Share a few words of wisdom: Shallow Days
I like what she said, but not what it means
Friday, June 23, 2006
"I've almost given up thinking you're ever gonna call; I don't believe in magic anymore"
I've been thinking quite a bit lately, a dangerous task I know. Walk with me for a bit down this memory trail.
I could count on one hand the number of guys who said they'd love me forever, and, truth be told, I'd still have a few fingers left over. So what does that mean? Was I lied to? If so, what would prompt someone into telling such a lie? Maybe at the time they really did think they would love me forever, and if that was the case, what changed? When did "forever" become synonymous with "until you're in a different time zone?"
I've had contact with two of them the past week, and I just don't know how to handle it. How can you have your past hurled at you and be expected to touch it, let alone understand it and try to find the elusive silver lining.
It's all disillusioning, especially when factoring in the possibility that no one will love me forever, that I'll just go about my days alone, blogging ridiculously long sentences in celebration of the current pity party. I'd like to think I'm better than that. I'd like to think a lot of things.
I've loved a lot, perhaps too much as my scarred heart indicates. And sometimes I think I will love some people forever. How do you live when that's the case? How do you drag yourself out of bed knowing that your best days have come and gone?
But I do drag myself out of bed every day, usually at least an hour before I want to. I get dressed, drive through the Tennessee heat with no air conditioning sweating out my impurities all the way to work. Then I put a smile on my face (I'm good at faking that) and spend eight hours making other people happy. It's not much, but it's something.
I leave you with Feast Ninety-Nine.
Appetizer
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you like your job?
Right now I'd give it a 9.
Soup
When was the last time you think you were lied to?
I'm not sure, but I'm guessing sometime around February was the last time I was lied about.
Salad
Share some lyrics from own of your favorite songs.
I can only assume this means "one of your favorite songs." My favorite song is "Your Latest Trick" by Dire Straits. Enjoy these lyrics:
My door was standing open
Security was laid back and lax
But it was only my heart got broken
You must have had a pass key made out of wax
You played robbery with insolence
And I played the blues in twelve bars down Lover's Lane
And you never did have the inteligence to use
The twelve keys hanging off my chain
I don't know how it happened
It all took place so quick
But all I can do is hand it to you
And your latest trick
Main Course
What do you do/take when you are in pain?
It depends on the strength of pain. If it's mild, I just lie in bed and cry a bit. If it's bad, I take Vicodin. Relax, it's a prescription from the last time I was in bad pain. God bless the ER.
Dessert
Fill in the blanks: My __________ is very __________.
My family is very fucked up.
I could count on one hand the number of guys who said they'd love me forever, and, truth be told, I'd still have a few fingers left over. So what does that mean? Was I lied to? If so, what would prompt someone into telling such a lie? Maybe at the time they really did think they would love me forever, and if that was the case, what changed? When did "forever" become synonymous with "until you're in a different time zone?"
I've had contact with two of them the past week, and I just don't know how to handle it. How can you have your past hurled at you and be expected to touch it, let alone understand it and try to find the elusive silver lining.
It's all disillusioning, especially when factoring in the possibility that no one will love me forever, that I'll just go about my days alone, blogging ridiculously long sentences in celebration of the current pity party. I'd like to think I'm better than that. I'd like to think a lot of things.
I've loved a lot, perhaps too much as my scarred heart indicates. And sometimes I think I will love some people forever. How do you live when that's the case? How do you drag yourself out of bed knowing that your best days have come and gone?
But I do drag myself out of bed every day, usually at least an hour before I want to. I get dressed, drive through the Tennessee heat with no air conditioning sweating out my impurities all the way to work. Then I put a smile on my face (I'm good at faking that) and spend eight hours making other people happy. It's not much, but it's something.
I leave you with Feast Ninety-Nine.
Appetizer
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you like your job?
Right now I'd give it a 9.
Soup
When was the last time you think you were lied to?
I'm not sure, but I'm guessing sometime around February was the last time I was lied about.
Salad
Share some lyrics from own of your favorite songs.
I can only assume this means "one of your favorite songs." My favorite song is "Your Latest Trick" by Dire Straits. Enjoy these lyrics:
My door was standing open
Security was laid back and lax
But it was only my heart got broken
You must have had a pass key made out of wax
You played robbery with insolence
And I played the blues in twelve bars down Lover's Lane
And you never did have the inteligence to use
The twelve keys hanging off my chain
I don't know how it happened
It all took place so quick
But all I can do is hand it to you
And your latest trick
Main Course
What do you do/take when you are in pain?
It depends on the strength of pain. If it's mild, I just lie in bed and cry a bit. If it's bad, I take Vicodin. Relax, it's a prescription from the last time I was in bad pain. God bless the ER.
Dessert
Fill in the blanks: My __________ is very __________.
My family is very fucked up.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
"I wish that I was stronger, right now I feel as fragile as glass"
Have you ever cried so hard you couldn't breathe? It's not pleasant, let me tell you.
I have two things in my life right now that I'm grateful for: 1) My sister, who I consider to be pretty much the only stable family I have; 2) My job, which is usually enjoyable and keeps a roof over my head.
Having said that, everything else is just shit. Yes, I appreciate having friends, but I don't even have those kind of relationships like I used to have. My friends all seem distant, like I might as well be living on another continent. Sure, people care and express interest, but it's not the same reaction I might have gotten if this shit happened in, say, high school. My house would have been flooded with people, flowers, ice cream, movies, and Monopoly.
Do you ever look back on your life and realized how fucked it is? Just counting all my losses in mind-boggling, and I'm a numbers-friendly person, usually. It's easier to count what I have. Sometimes I feel like I won't ever recover.
I have been remiss in the feasting lately, so here's a few past ones to perk you (or me) up.
Feast Ninety-Eight
Appetizer
What is a word that you use that would not be considered common?
Expletive! I can't curse at work, even when a ceramic plate breaks across my foot, so I just say, "Oh, expletive!" a few times a day.
Soup
What theme of calendar do you have on your wall this year?
I don't have a calendar of this year. I also don't ever check the weather in advance. I prefer to be completely oblivious and surprised all the time.
Salad
Name 3 people you speak with by telephone a regular basis.
Well isn't this embarrasing. I actually don't have three people I speak with on a regular basis.
1) My dad (probably daily)
2) Starbucks/people from my store (again, probably daily)
3) My voicemail, although I don't talk back
Main Course
If you could buy a new outfit for someone you know - who would it be and what would you purchase for them?
I'd buy Kammi's two-year-old daughter Sierra a cat costume, because, you know, that'd be really cute.
Dessert
What is the last beverage you drank?
An iced grande caramel vanilla latte. I made it myself!
Feast Ninety-Seven
Appetizer
About how much money did you spend on gas this week?
$20 today - not having air conditioning has its perks.
Soup
What is your favortite brand of toilet paper?
Charmin. I will spend the extra bucks.
Salad
When was the last time you discovered something that you thought was pure genius?
A few months ago, when I came up with the idea of having a Sharpie in each till so that partners wouldn't keep walking home with them after their shifts every day.
Main Course
What is the least amount of sleep you can get by on per night?
I'm going on less then four hours right now, and I'm just dandy.
Dessert
June is a popular month for weddings. Do you know anyone who is getting married this month?
Nope, though I'm sure someone is. Leslie got married last June.
I have two things in my life right now that I'm grateful for: 1) My sister, who I consider to be pretty much the only stable family I have; 2) My job, which is usually enjoyable and keeps a roof over my head.
Having said that, everything else is just shit. Yes, I appreciate having friends, but I don't even have those kind of relationships like I used to have. My friends all seem distant, like I might as well be living on another continent. Sure, people care and express interest, but it's not the same reaction I might have gotten if this shit happened in, say, high school. My house would have been flooded with people, flowers, ice cream, movies, and Monopoly.
Do you ever look back on your life and realized how fucked it is? Just counting all my losses in mind-boggling, and I'm a numbers-friendly person, usually. It's easier to count what I have. Sometimes I feel like I won't ever recover.
I have been remiss in the feasting lately, so here's a few past ones to perk you (or me) up.
Feast Ninety-Eight
Appetizer
What is a word that you use that would not be considered common?
Expletive! I can't curse at work, even when a ceramic plate breaks across my foot, so I just say, "Oh, expletive!" a few times a day.
Soup
What theme of calendar do you have on your wall this year?
I don't have a calendar of this year. I also don't ever check the weather in advance. I prefer to be completely oblivious and surprised all the time.
Salad
Name 3 people you speak with by telephone a regular basis.
Well isn't this embarrasing. I actually don't have three people I speak with on a regular basis.
1) My dad (probably daily)
2) Starbucks/people from my store (again, probably daily)
3) My voicemail, although I don't talk back
Main Course
If you could buy a new outfit for someone you know - who would it be and what would you purchase for them?
I'd buy Kammi's two-year-old daughter Sierra a cat costume, because, you know, that'd be really cute.
Dessert
What is the last beverage you drank?
An iced grande caramel vanilla latte. I made it myself!
Feast Ninety-Seven
Appetizer
About how much money did you spend on gas this week?
$20 today - not having air conditioning has its perks.
Soup
What is your favortite brand of toilet paper?
Charmin. I will spend the extra bucks.
Salad
When was the last time you discovered something that you thought was pure genius?
A few months ago, when I came up with the idea of having a Sharpie in each till so that partners wouldn't keep walking home with them after their shifts every day.
Main Course
What is the least amount of sleep you can get by on per night?
I'm going on less then four hours right now, and I'm just dandy.
Dessert
June is a popular month for weddings. Do you know anyone who is getting married this month?
Nope, though I'm sure someone is. Leslie got married last June.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Colpin' A Feel
For those who haven't heard yet, I finally had that colposcopy. Of course, this came after Wednesday, which might be my longest day ever. I went to an early meeting at work, went to the ER across the street, then came back and went to work some more. Yikes. Suffice it to say that the pelvic pain is coming back, and the only way to do anything that remotely resembles diagnosis is to do a pelvic exam, which hurts quite a bit when you're suffering from pelvic pain.
But I digress. The colposcopy (yes, I cried - it hurt) revealed that I have a mild case of precancerous cells in my cervix, which is what I expected it to say. Props to my gynecologist for realizing I was in so much pain and commenting, "I don't think you're going to let me do this biopsy." You are correct. So I did get out of some tissue being forcibly removed from my cervix. Woot!
The treatment plan right now is to watch it, do an ultrasound in a few weeks, then do a Pap in December. Ideally, it will have gone away by then. We can only hope.
I swear I tried to blog a few Fridays ago, but the damn site was down. Argh.
On the plus side: The ER doctor thought I worked in medicine because of my apparently impressive medical terminology.
But I digress. The colposcopy (yes, I cried - it hurt) revealed that I have a mild case of precancerous cells in my cervix, which is what I expected it to say. Props to my gynecologist for realizing I was in so much pain and commenting, "I don't think you're going to let me do this biopsy." You are correct. So I did get out of some tissue being forcibly removed from my cervix. Woot!
The treatment plan right now is to watch it, do an ultrasound in a few weeks, then do a Pap in December. Ideally, it will have gone away by then. We can only hope.
I swear I tried to blog a few Fridays ago, but the damn site was down. Argh.
On the plus side: The ER doctor thought I worked in medicine because of my apparently impressive medical terminology.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
This Has to Hold You Over
OK, so here's a feast. I won't be blogging on Memorial Day because the lab is closed. Instead, I'll be working at the Bux for time and a half! Woot!
Appetizer
How old were you when you got your first credit card?
I think I was 18. I might have been 17. It was a store credit card to a furniture store that I never used, but just having it led me to my second credit card. Let's not talk about that one.
Soup
When was the last time you felt out of place?
I wish I were feeling introspective enough to answer this decently. I guess the better question is asking when was the last time I didn't feel out of place? I guess the best answer is the last time I went home and everyone was sleeping in different rooms. I realized then that my house wasn't my home anymore. My dad slept in my room, my sister slept on the upstairs couch, and I went back to Murfreesboro to sleep in my own empty house, alone with no cat and no roommate. My heart is homeless right now.
Salad
Did you have a curfew when you were a teenager? If so, what time did you have to be home?
It was 11 p.m. until I turned 18 and living at home - then it was midnight. However, if I called, I could be late. And a few times I just stayed over at Leslie's because she had no curfew. At that time, I gave my parents a 1 a.m. curfew (they had to call me if they were going to be out past 1) because of one night when no one came home until 3 a.m. and I was stalking about the house with a knife in one hand and a phone with the police on the line in the other, but that's a story for another blog. When I was 19, my mom made me call if I was still out at 6 a.m., which I did. I mean, really, a 6 a.m. curfew? What's the point?
Main Course
Name a person from history with whom you feel you have something in common.
Joan of Arc - I plan on being burned at the stake. OK, not really. Rene Descartes, a philosopher and mathematician. Need I say more?
Dessert
When you read a newspaper, which section do you go for first?
I read newspapers? I check the news on my phone (I work too much to be able to read or watch news - it took me three days to hear about that tsunami). If I can actually see a paper, I skim the front page and do the puzzles.
Appetizer
How old were you when you got your first credit card?
I think I was 18. I might have been 17. It was a store credit card to a furniture store that I never used, but just having it led me to my second credit card. Let's not talk about that one.
Soup
When was the last time you felt out of place?
I wish I were feeling introspective enough to answer this decently. I guess the better question is asking when was the last time I didn't feel out of place? I guess the best answer is the last time I went home and everyone was sleeping in different rooms. I realized then that my house wasn't my home anymore. My dad slept in my room, my sister slept on the upstairs couch, and I went back to Murfreesboro to sleep in my own empty house, alone with no cat and no roommate. My heart is homeless right now.
Salad
Did you have a curfew when you were a teenager? If so, what time did you have to be home?
It was 11 p.m. until I turned 18 and living at home - then it was midnight. However, if I called, I could be late. And a few times I just stayed over at Leslie's because she had no curfew. At that time, I gave my parents a 1 a.m. curfew (they had to call me if they were going to be out past 1) because of one night when no one came home until 3 a.m. and I was stalking about the house with a knife in one hand and a phone with the police on the line in the other, but that's a story for another blog. When I was 19, my mom made me call if I was still out at 6 a.m., which I did. I mean, really, a 6 a.m. curfew? What's the point?
Main Course
Name a person from history with whom you feel you have something in common.
Joan of Arc - I plan on being burned at the stake. OK, not really. Rene Descartes, a philosopher and mathematician. Need I say more?
Dessert
When you read a newspaper, which section do you go for first?
I read newspapers? I check the news on my phone (I work too much to be able to read or watch news - it took me three days to hear about that tsunami). If I can actually see a paper, I skim the front page and do the puzzles.
Friday, May 26, 2006
If You Search for "Hooker"...
...apparently you end up here. So all you Johns out there looking for a pretty woman on Technorati: Go fuck yourself. Or not. I really don't care if you get off.
Isn't that odd? Maybe not. Maybe hookers actually blog about their nightly encounters in hopes that some poor schmuck will stumble upon them on some idle Internet search, sitting in front of his computer with a loose white T-shirt and stained plaid boxers, surrounded by Playboy and Maxim.
My syntax is a mess up there. Pay no attention to that chasm between the pronoun and the antecedent.
And this, oh ye searchers for Internet hookers, is why I will never sleep with you. I critique my own grammar on my blog, and you're frantically googling "antecedent."
I like being smart.
Isn't that odd? Maybe not. Maybe hookers actually blog about their nightly encounters in hopes that some poor schmuck will stumble upon them on some idle Internet search, sitting in front of his computer with a loose white T-shirt and stained plaid boxers, surrounded by Playboy and Maxim.
My syntax is a mess up there. Pay no attention to that chasm between the pronoun and the antecedent.
And this, oh ye searchers for Internet hookers, is why I will never sleep with you. I critique my own grammar on my blog, and you're frantically googling "antecedent."
I like being smart.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
A Moderately Uplifting Post
Well, good news: I can pay for school! Thanks to all who offered support, both moral and financial. I owe a debt of gratitude to Joel, Lexi and Kammi, who chipped in to help me pay my debt to the school and my debt to my sister. It really means a lot.
My parents have inevitably gotten themselves involved in sending e-mails to the school, which is all fun because now e-mails from the school are going back to me, my parents, and even my sister. WTF?!
I've got to hand it to them - it's really a nice existence being under the delusion that higher-ups actually care. The head financial aid guy was helpful, although he actually told my parents I should work fewer hours. Right, and I'll just get evicted and live in the library. That's a capitol plan!
How is it that when nothing is your fault, everything is your fault? I'm not flawless by any means, but I can trace all this back to Fall 2004, when I was diagnosed with mono.
Now I'm finding myself doing things and considering things I never thought I would in order to get money for school in fall. What has happened to me?
And, just for the hell of it: This is just a friendly reminder that I am not a hooker or a stripper, so please stop with the assumptions. And if in some alternate reality I were, you wouldn't be able to afford me.
My parents have inevitably gotten themselves involved in sending e-mails to the school, which is all fun because now e-mails from the school are going back to me, my parents, and even my sister. WTF?!
I've got to hand it to them - it's really a nice existence being under the delusion that higher-ups actually care. The head financial aid guy was helpful, although he actually told my parents I should work fewer hours. Right, and I'll just get evicted and live in the library. That's a capitol plan!
How is it that when nothing is your fault, everything is your fault? I'm not flawless by any means, but I can trace all this back to Fall 2004, when I was diagnosed with mono.
Now I'm finding myself doing things and considering things I never thought I would in order to get money for school in fall. What has happened to me?
And, just for the hell of it: This is just a friendly reminder that I am not a hooker or a stripper, so please stop with the assumptions. And if in some alternate reality I were, you wouldn't be able to afford me.
Monday, May 22, 2006
"I'm thirsty anyway, so bring on the rain"
First off, thanks to everyone who has offered encouragement and condolences. "Everyone" largely includes people I've never actually met - you've all been much more supportive than I would have imagine, and certainly more so than most of the people I actually know. I guess I could ponder that, but I don't much feel like it right now.
I've talked to my dad, who told me not to worry because we'd work something out. However, even he, I think, realizes my options are limited, if they even exist. Today he sent me an e-mail that said: "Life sucks sometimes, huh?"
I've haven't talked to my mom yet. Mostly, I'm worried that she'll blame me, and I feel like shit enough as it is without any help from outside sources.
I still have to pay for the class I'm in now even though I won't be able to get credit for it if I haven't paid by Friday because I'll be dropped. And, no, I can't sell my book back, because I have no frickin' clue where the receipt is, assuming they'd even take it back this late, which I'm sure they won't.
Have you ever thought you had nothing else to lose, and then you've lost something? Have you ever thought you couldn't possibly cry any more tears, and yet they keep coming? Have you ever asked someone to stay the night with you because you're afraid of what you'll do if you're alone? And that's just this week.
I don't know what to do. I can't even being to wrap my brain around what I can possibly do. I guess it could be conceived as giving up, but I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of struggling. I just want everything to stop, to be over. But it doesn't stop. It never stops. And this is what my life is going to be like from now on: debt and misery.
So, like I said, bring on the rain.
I've talked to my dad, who told me not to worry because we'd work something out. However, even he, I think, realizes my options are limited, if they even exist. Today he sent me an e-mail that said: "Life sucks sometimes, huh?"
I've haven't talked to my mom yet. Mostly, I'm worried that she'll blame me, and I feel like shit enough as it is without any help from outside sources.
I still have to pay for the class I'm in now even though I won't be able to get credit for it if I haven't paid by Friday because I'll be dropped. And, no, I can't sell my book back, because I have no frickin' clue where the receipt is, assuming they'd even take it back this late, which I'm sure they won't.
Have you ever thought you had nothing else to lose, and then you've lost something? Have you ever thought you couldn't possibly cry any more tears, and yet they keep coming? Have you ever asked someone to stay the night with you because you're afraid of what you'll do if you're alone? And that's just this week.
I don't know what to do. I can't even being to wrap my brain around what I can possibly do. I guess it could be conceived as giving up, but I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of struggling. I just want everything to stop, to be over. But it doesn't stop. It never stops. And this is what my life is going to be like from now on: debt and misery.
So, like I said, bring on the rain.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Cancel Those Flowers
Well, I've canceled my colposcopy. Before you get all freaking out on me, hear me out. I have to drop out of school. Ergo, I don't have insurance. I also don't have enough credit to get a private loan (thanks, in part, to all those medical bills in my name that I was erroneously led to believe were being paid). So I'm really fucked right now. And because I'm really fucked, I'm not going to do whatever it is they were going to do that would result in them telling me my cells are precancerous and nothing to worry about. See, I did all that right now, and it didn't cost me a penny.
Well, the school suspended my aid on May 16, one day after my first summer class started. You can see my frustration here. Not only was I not notified, but I was told I would be able to get a loan, AND now I'm fairly certain I'm stuck paying for this class regardless of whether or not I drop it. I'm still waiting to hear from them for sure, but that's what they led me to believe.
I have a few plans of how to raise the money, but they're either illegal or involve stripping, neither of which is appealing.
I know what you're thinking: Why don't your parents cosign for you?
Are you kidding me? They're living in separate rooms in the house, hardly speaking to each other, and this is all money-related. They don't have money. They don't have the credit to cosign for me, hence why I got stuck with a piece of shit, air conditioner-free Saturn instead of a new(er) car last year - they told me then that they weren't able to cosign for me.
Estimated graduation date: Yikes. I don't want to try to suss that out. I'll be missing that oh-so-important prerequisite AGAIN this year, making it at least two years to graduate whenever I get back.
In case you don't recall, my professor (oh let's just call him Dr. Khaliq) failed me last fall WHILE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING SURGERY. Yes, he's an asshole. I asked for an incomplete, which he wouldn't give me. I ended up with a W, which I thought was just him being a decent human being, but no. That was an error. It was changed to an F later.
I violently dislike that man. And MTSU. And let's just throw Siddy Mac in there for kicks, too. I dislike most of MTSU, except for the following people: Ron, Jack, Dr. Kholodnyi, Dr. Barlow, Dr. Fowler, Angela, Paco, Dr. Hollman, Porter, and...no that pretty much sums it up. Oh yeah. Greek Life. And Jackie. And though I haven't had her yet, I've had some helpful chats with Dr. Green. They're swell!
If anyone knows how I can get $1176 quickly and legally, I'm open to suggestions.
Hey, let's do a feast!
Appetizer
What is the last thing you had to have repaired?
My psyche.
Soup
If someone gave you $2,000 with the stipulation that you had to spend half of it on yourself and give the rest to charity, where would you spend the $1,000 and which charity would receive your remaining $1,000?
This is an easy one: school and the American Cancer Society.
Salad
What is one of your favorite songs from the 1980s?
"Your Latest Trick" by Dire Straits
Main Course
You enter a pet store. Which section do you go to first?
Where they keep the frozen mice to feed Salazar. Hey, you asked.
Dessert
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how athletic are you?
I'm athletic, but not really built. I'm toned, and I dance and do Pilates, both of which require a great deal of strength and muscle control, but I'm not sporty athletic. I'd give me a 7.
Well, the school suspended my aid on May 16, one day after my first summer class started. You can see my frustration here. Not only was I not notified, but I was told I would be able to get a loan, AND now I'm fairly certain I'm stuck paying for this class regardless of whether or not I drop it. I'm still waiting to hear from them for sure, but that's what they led me to believe.
I have a few plans of how to raise the money, but they're either illegal or involve stripping, neither of which is appealing.
I know what you're thinking: Why don't your parents cosign for you?
Are you kidding me? They're living in separate rooms in the house, hardly speaking to each other, and this is all money-related. They don't have money. They don't have the credit to cosign for me, hence why I got stuck with a piece of shit, air conditioner-free Saturn instead of a new(er) car last year - they told me then that they weren't able to cosign for me.
Estimated graduation date: Yikes. I don't want to try to suss that out. I'll be missing that oh-so-important prerequisite AGAIN this year, making it at least two years to graduate whenever I get back.
In case you don't recall, my professor (oh let's just call him Dr. Khaliq) failed me last fall WHILE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING SURGERY. Yes, he's an asshole. I asked for an incomplete, which he wouldn't give me. I ended up with a W, which I thought was just him being a decent human being, but no. That was an error. It was changed to an F later.
I violently dislike that man. And MTSU. And let's just throw Siddy Mac in there for kicks, too. I dislike most of MTSU, except for the following people: Ron, Jack, Dr. Kholodnyi, Dr. Barlow, Dr. Fowler, Angela, Paco, Dr. Hollman, Porter, and...no that pretty much sums it up. Oh yeah. Greek Life. And Jackie. And though I haven't had her yet, I've had some helpful chats with Dr. Green. They're swell!
If anyone knows how I can get $1176 quickly and legally, I'm open to suggestions.
Hey, let's do a feast!
Appetizer
What is the last thing you had to have repaired?
My psyche.
Soup
If someone gave you $2,000 with the stipulation that you had to spend half of it on yourself and give the rest to charity, where would you spend the $1,000 and which charity would receive your remaining $1,000?
This is an easy one: school and the American Cancer Society.
Salad
What is one of your favorite songs from the 1980s?
"Your Latest Trick" by Dire Straits
Main Course
You enter a pet store. Which section do you go to first?
Where they keep the frozen mice to feed Salazar. Hey, you asked.
Dessert
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how athletic are you?
I'm athletic, but not really built. I'm toned, and I dance and do Pilates, both of which require a great deal of strength and muscle control, but I'm not sporty athletic. I'd give me a 7.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Well, @%$^*&!
Yeah, remember how MTSU lost my form? Well, now something worse has happened: My financial aid is lost, too.
Yes, I'm aware I'm supposed to get a letter. I didn't.
When I registered for summer classes, the system said I was on financial aid probation for the summer. No big, right? Just pass my summer classes, which is easy because I'm all about some summer class.
Then I got online today and noticed an e-mail stating my loan had finally been sent to the school (OK, the word "finally" was added by yours truly). I signed on to PipelineMT and checked my account, which still didn't show the money. Thinking it was odd, I decided to check my holds.
FINANCIAL AID SUSPENSION SUMMER 2006
WTF?! When did this little change occur? Why wasn't I notified? And, more importantly, HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO PAY FOR SCHOOL?!
I've sent an angry e-mail to the financial aid powers that be, and I plan to go there after my test tomorrow, but here's probably how it's going to go down (please, hold all cries of joy until I've left and returned with a weapon):
1) They'll realize it's a misunderstanding. Seriously, why was I allowed to apply for aid if I didn't qualify? I really hope that appeal deadline hasn't passed - they're supposed to send you that information when they send you the letter that says you've lost your aid. I'm also not to keen on appealing, as getting all those medical records AGAIN will cost me another $50 or so.
2) I'll have to drop out of school for a while, possibly permanently. I'll work at Starbucks until I'm 35, at which point I'll probably put a bullet in my head, because I'll end up in a loveless marriage with absolutely nothing, and I'm sure by then my family will have deteriorated to nothing.
So that's it. I'd cry but I'm in the business lab and don't feel like drawing attention to myself. I've also quit going to therapy (I'm too poor for that), and I'm not going to the shrink, and that little colposcopy thing is seeming more and more like a bad idea...
Send liquor. It's going to be a long few days.
Yes, I'm aware I'm supposed to get a letter. I didn't.
When I registered for summer classes, the system said I was on financial aid probation for the summer. No big, right? Just pass my summer classes, which is easy because I'm all about some summer class.
Then I got online today and noticed an e-mail stating my loan had finally been sent to the school (OK, the word "finally" was added by yours truly). I signed on to PipelineMT and checked my account, which still didn't show the money. Thinking it was odd, I decided to check my holds.
FINANCIAL AID SUSPENSION SUMMER 2006
WTF?! When did this little change occur? Why wasn't I notified? And, more importantly, HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO PAY FOR SCHOOL?!
I've sent an angry e-mail to the financial aid powers that be, and I plan to go there after my test tomorrow, but here's probably how it's going to go down (please, hold all cries of joy until I've left and returned with a weapon):
1) They'll realize it's a misunderstanding. Seriously, why was I allowed to apply for aid if I didn't qualify? I really hope that appeal deadline hasn't passed - they're supposed to send you that information when they send you the letter that says you've lost your aid. I'm also not to keen on appealing, as getting all those medical records AGAIN will cost me another $50 or so.
2) I'll have to drop out of school for a while, possibly permanently. I'll work at Starbucks until I'm 35, at which point I'll probably put a bullet in my head, because I'll end up in a loveless marriage with absolutely nothing, and I'm sure by then my family will have deteriorated to nothing.
So that's it. I'd cry but I'm in the business lab and don't feel like drawing attention to myself. I've also quit going to therapy (I'm too poor for that), and I'm not going to the shrink, and that little colposcopy thing is seeming more and more like a bad idea...
Send liquor. It's going to be a long few days.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
OK, I Cave AND On My Own
OK, to all the people who insisted I let the friendly gynecologist tell me I don't have cancer in a very expensive way, I cave.
I'm having the colposcopy June 9 at 1:20 p.m., so you people better call me or sendstrippers DVDs, puzzlebooks and candy. I'm not really into flowers, unless they're velvet Southern Belle Roses. Bonus points if you splurge for that!
I started class Monday, and as soon as I'm done typing this, I'm going to get the $100 book for it. Woot! Yeah, that's fake enthusiasm there.
So MTSU LOST my loan request sheet, and I had to fill it out again, so I don't have my money yet. I've been told it'll be in by the end of the week. If no, heads will roll. And possibly rock.
I've been moving into my new place, and I'm officially out of the old one now. I spent a good deal of yesterday cleaning and whatnot. Now I have lots of shit to unpack. Volunteers are welcome. You will be paid with your choice of Jack Daniel's, Jagermeister or Buttershots.
I have my own place now, and it's nice but kind of surreal. I'll go in depth with this later. It's been christened, too. I know you all think that means I fornicated all over the place, but it was an old-fashioned christening, complete with breaking champagne bottles. OK, I might be lying about that one. I'll try to be better about updating this.
I'm having the colposcopy June 9 at 1:20 p.m., so you people better call me or send
I started class Monday, and as soon as I'm done typing this, I'm going to get the $100 book for it. Woot! Yeah, that's fake enthusiasm there.
So MTSU LOST my loan request sheet, and I had to fill it out again, so I don't have my money yet. I've been told it'll be in by the end of the week. If no, heads will roll. And possibly rock.
I've been moving into my new place, and I'm officially out of the old one now. I spent a good deal of yesterday cleaning and whatnot. Now I have lots of shit to unpack. Volunteers are welcome. You will be paid with your choice of Jack Daniel's, Jagermeister or Buttershots.
I have my own place now, and it's nice but kind of surreal. I'll go in depth with this later. It's been christened, too. I know you all think that means I fornicated all over the place, but it was an old-fashioned christening, complete with breaking champagne bottles. OK, I might be lying about that one. I'll try to be better about updating this.
Friday, May 12, 2006
"If I Had A Boat"
MEREDITH'S APARTMENT, TENN: Wow. I've been neglecting my little corner of the Internet for a while, but with good reason: There is no Internet access:( Oh, crap, I used an emoticon - I'm really missing being online.
So here I am, typing away at Meredith's, doing some laundry (everyone loves clean clothes) and trying to think of how I can sum up the last week or so without being so verbose as to scare you all off after a few paragraphs.
First off, for those who were concerned, thank you. My sister gave me a blank check. I'm paying her back this weekend. It's nice to have family.
I've been moving, packing up and whatnot. It's an odd thing, putting yourself into boxes. I've never moved by myself. In the past, I've had friends, boyfriends, and family come around to help, and we've just loaded up the truck and moved everything in one trip. This week, I've been bringing over boxes at a time. It's odd, yet strangely endearing. Does anyone else get that?
Here are a few things I've learned:
1) I have ENTIRELY too many pairs of shoes. They won't even all fit in one box, and these are only the ones I have here. I have many more pairs in Hendersonville.
2) I have a lot of coats, too. In fact, those wouldn't all fit in one box, and, like the shoes, I have many more coats in Hendersonville.
3) Working at Starbucks ensures free access to all the boxes and newspapers I could imagine. At least I'm saving cost on that.
4) Trying to move while working 9 straight days, including overtime, is STUPID.
5) Did I mention I have a lot of shoes and coats?
Wednesday night, Meredith worked for me so I could have some time off. I decided to spend it going out on the houseboat with Travis (not T-Money). I hadn't seen him in a long time (I'd ballpark it at two years).
We just hung out, did some catfish fishing, and got really hungry, eating a pint of ice cream and 80 cookies. It was a blast.
I just found out that my summer books will cost around $400, and the one I need on Monday is $100. So maybe I won't be paying my sister in full just yet.
My savings account now sits at $11 and some change. Don't you wish YOU had $11 in savings? Hell, that's about 4 gallons of gas. Woot!
On the agenda for the rest of the day:
1) Finish packing, even if it kills me.
2) Balance checkbook. Cry over how poor I am. Smile when I remember I'm getting a bonus at work, and I'm up for a raise in July.
3) Finish laundry.
4) Move as much as I can to my new place so that tomorrow I'm just moving furniture and unpacking.
5) Track down Cox to give him my spare key.
6) Do some Pilates. My arms are not as impressive as they were last week.
7) Eat. Really, I should.
I promise I'll be better about this in the future. The 24-hour lab on campus reopens Monday. Until then, stay classy.
So here I am, typing away at Meredith's, doing some laundry (everyone loves clean clothes) and trying to think of how I can sum up the last week or so without being so verbose as to scare you all off after a few paragraphs.
First off, for those who were concerned, thank you. My sister gave me a blank check. I'm paying her back this weekend. It's nice to have family.
I've been moving, packing up and whatnot. It's an odd thing, putting yourself into boxes. I've never moved by myself. In the past, I've had friends, boyfriends, and family come around to help, and we've just loaded up the truck and moved everything in one trip. This week, I've been bringing over boxes at a time. It's odd, yet strangely endearing. Does anyone else get that?
Here are a few things I've learned:
1) I have ENTIRELY too many pairs of shoes. They won't even all fit in one box, and these are only the ones I have here. I have many more pairs in Hendersonville.
2) I have a lot of coats, too. In fact, those wouldn't all fit in one box, and, like the shoes, I have many more coats in Hendersonville.
3) Working at Starbucks ensures free access to all the boxes and newspapers I could imagine. At least I'm saving cost on that.
4) Trying to move while working 9 straight days, including overtime, is STUPID.
5) Did I mention I have a lot of shoes and coats?
Wednesday night, Meredith worked for me so I could have some time off. I decided to spend it going out on the houseboat with Travis (not T-Money). I hadn't seen him in a long time (I'd ballpark it at two years).
We just hung out, did some catfish fishing, and got really hungry, eating a pint of ice cream and 80 cookies. It was a blast.
I just found out that my summer books will cost around $400, and the one I need on Monday is $100. So maybe I won't be paying my sister in full just yet.
My savings account now sits at $11 and some change. Don't you wish YOU had $11 in savings? Hell, that's about 4 gallons of gas. Woot!
On the agenda for the rest of the day:
1) Finish packing, even if it kills me.
2) Balance checkbook. Cry over how poor I am. Smile when I remember I'm getting a bonus at work, and I'm up for a raise in July.
3) Finish laundry.
4) Move as much as I can to my new place so that tomorrow I'm just moving furniture and unpacking.
5) Track down Cox to give him my spare key.
6) Do some Pilates. My arms are not as impressive as they were last week.
7) Eat. Really, I should.
I promise I'll be better about this in the future. The 24-hour lab on campus reopens Monday. Until then, stay classy.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
I Hope Someone I Know Is Reading This
Ideally, my sister. See, of all the people I know, she's the most financially stable. So here is my open plea, to all who will listen, as I type in the business lab on campus from a computer that has keys that stick. It's impossible to type fast on this damned thing.
Dear Loved One,
Do you remember a time when I was working two jobs and taking a full load of classes? Of course you do - I only stopped the second job this semester. When I mentioned wanting to only work one job, I was told that I'd be helped out financially if I needed it.
Factoring in my incredible ego and pride, you must no doubt assume that I would never ask for money unless I truly needed it. Haven't I been financially independent for years now? Haven't I proved that I'm a responsible adult here?
I'm working overtime this week, so I've got money, I just don't HAVE it yet. I need it by this Friday, and I won't have it until next Friday. I'm not even asking for money here, just a loan. A week advance, if you will. Just a couple hundred to ensure my two rent checks this month don't bounce. Really, is that asking so much?
You'll be happy to know I don't waste my money on things like food and water. I live on Pop-Tarts, which are tasty and cheap. I drink whatever I can get free from work. I do Pilates to ensure my unhealthy diet doesn't fuck up my abs. I make ends meet.
I haven't refilled my migraine prescription in a few weeks. I haven't refilled my allergy prescription in a few months. I cancelled all four of my mental health appointments last week because I can't pay for them, including two with the psychiatrist, because, let's not kid ourselves: I can't afford the happy pills they want to give me.
Am I completely broke? Kind of. You see, I do have money coming in in the forseeable future. I'll have a nice paycheck next week, and once my financial aid comes in, I'll be able to replenish my savings account and maybe make a sizable dent in that damn credit card bill that keeps getting higher and higher every month. I'll also get some of my deposit money back from my current house.
But, until then, I'm broke. I'm more than broke - I'm completely shattered. And I haven't even factored in the medical bills that keep coming to my parents' house, because, clearly, they're not getting paid. Seriously, though, what are they going to do, repo my uterus? I don't have any assets. Thank God nothing is in my name.
~Wendy
Yes, despite my better judgement, I'll wake up tomorrow, call my dad and sister, and hope to get that loan. I'm more likely to ask my sister, because I know she has it to spare.
Dear Loved One,
Do you remember a time when I was working two jobs and taking a full load of classes? Of course you do - I only stopped the second job this semester. When I mentioned wanting to only work one job, I was told that I'd be helped out financially if I needed it.
Factoring in my incredible ego and pride, you must no doubt assume that I would never ask for money unless I truly needed it. Haven't I been financially independent for years now? Haven't I proved that I'm a responsible adult here?
I'm working overtime this week, so I've got money, I just don't HAVE it yet. I need it by this Friday, and I won't have it until next Friday. I'm not even asking for money here, just a loan. A week advance, if you will. Just a couple hundred to ensure my two rent checks this month don't bounce. Really, is that asking so much?
You'll be happy to know I don't waste my money on things like food and water. I live on Pop-Tarts, which are tasty and cheap. I drink whatever I can get free from work. I do Pilates to ensure my unhealthy diet doesn't fuck up my abs. I make ends meet.
I haven't refilled my migraine prescription in a few weeks. I haven't refilled my allergy prescription in a few months. I cancelled all four of my mental health appointments last week because I can't pay for them, including two with the psychiatrist, because, let's not kid ourselves: I can't afford the happy pills they want to give me.
Am I completely broke? Kind of. You see, I do have money coming in in the forseeable future. I'll have a nice paycheck next week, and once my financial aid comes in, I'll be able to replenish my savings account and maybe make a sizable dent in that damn credit card bill that keeps getting higher and higher every month. I'll also get some of my deposit money back from my current house.
But, until then, I'm broke. I'm more than broke - I'm completely shattered. And I haven't even factored in the medical bills that keep coming to my parents' house, because, clearly, they're not getting paid. Seriously, though, what are they going to do, repo my uterus? I don't have any assets. Thank God nothing is in my name.
~Wendy
Yes, despite my better judgement, I'll wake up tomorrow, call my dad and sister, and hope to get that loan. I'm more likely to ask my sister, because I know she has it to spare.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
"How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life"
Well, let's recap the past few days in a nutshell.
Thursday: Robert Earl Keen concert with my dad (front row, baby!), meeting up with the guys at the Boundary, heading over to South Street, being Robert's DD.
Friday: Meetings, dance show, hanging with Bambi and the guys, having a few drinks.
Saturday: Being awoken by loud door pounding for the SigEp cleaning day, lunch with Bambi, watched the draft before work, work, yadda yadda yadda (you really DON'T want to know, but I've never been so mad in my entire life), shaking from anger for an hour, texting a few random people at 6 a.m. (sorry if I woke you up), finally sleep.
Sunday: Woke up, told someone, "I violently dislike you" (I did at the time), went home to change for work, came back and got mildly violent, work, had a beer, watched Arrested Development.
Monday: Woke up, worked, went to Hickory Hollow and Best Buy, bought the CD from which the title comes, watched more Arrested Development while eating lots of bread, went to work to vill out an availability form (and really just to drive), went to BAS lab, typed this stuff.
And now, another late feast. Really, my eating schedule is whack.
Appetizer
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how polite are you?
I'd say I'm around a 9 or 10. I'm nice. Unless I'm violently disliking you at the moment.
Soup
What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
The Big Lebowski. I love that movie.
Salad
Who is your favorite cartoon character?
Doug Funnie. I love Doug.
Main Course
Tell about the funniest teacher you ever had.
That's a tough one between Jack and Dr. Taylor. I'll go with Jack because I have him now. He's one of the philosophy professors, and I have this great memory of him one day going, "Why are you here?" and then answering with "No, really, what the fuck are you doing here? Go away." He's always entertaining.
Dessert
Complete this sentence: I strongly believe that ______________________.
My credit card bill is really high. Seriously, that's all I can come up with right now.
Thursday: Robert Earl Keen concert with my dad (front row, baby!), meeting up with the guys at the Boundary, heading over to South Street, being Robert's DD.
Friday: Meetings, dance show, hanging with Bambi and the guys, having a few drinks.
Saturday: Being awoken by loud door pounding for the SigEp cleaning day, lunch with Bambi, watched the draft before work, work, yadda yadda yadda (you really DON'T want to know, but I've never been so mad in my entire life), shaking from anger for an hour, texting a few random people at 6 a.m. (sorry if I woke you up), finally sleep.
Sunday: Woke up, told someone, "I violently dislike you" (I did at the time), went home to change for work, came back and got mildly violent, work, had a beer, watched Arrested Development.
Monday: Woke up, worked, went to Hickory Hollow and Best Buy, bought the CD from which the title comes, watched more Arrested Development while eating lots of bread, went to work to vill out an availability form (and really just to drive), went to BAS lab, typed this stuff.
And now, another late feast. Really, my eating schedule is whack.
Appetizer
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how polite are you?
I'd say I'm around a 9 or 10. I'm nice. Unless I'm violently disliking you at the moment.
Soup
What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
The Big Lebowski. I love that movie.
Salad
Who is your favorite cartoon character?
Doug Funnie. I love Doug.
Main Course
Tell about the funniest teacher you ever had.
That's a tough one between Jack and Dr. Taylor. I'll go with Jack because I have him now. He's one of the philosophy professors, and I have this great memory of him one day going, "Why are you here?" and then answering with "No, really, what the fuck are you doing here? Go away." He's always entertaining.
Dessert
Complete this sentence: I strongly believe that ______________________.
My credit card bill is really high. Seriously, that's all I can come up with right now.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Friday's Feast - Internet-free Edition
Yes, I'm neglecting the blog, but I don't have Internet right now. I present a very delayed Friday's Feast.
Appetizer
List 3 things you keep putting off.
1) Refilling my migraine medication
2) Packing
3) My credit card bill
Soup
What do you feel is your greatest responsibility?
Trying to stay healthy physically and mentally
Salad
If you could have starred in any movie, which one would you have wanted to be in and why?
This is a tough one. I'd like to pick something Oscar-worthy, but I think it would have been really cool to play the lead in Underworld. Kate Beckinsale trained so that she wouldn't blink when she shot guns, which is a natural reaction. And here you though Keanu did it to look cool. Really, he just couldn't keep from blinking.
Main Course
What is an expectation you had as a child about being an adult and, now that you are grown up, you realize you were wrong?
That I would get married at age 20. What the hell was I thinking?
Dessert
When was the last time you had your car serviced?
I had the radiator replaced last summer. I don't take it anywhere for oil changes.
Appetizer
List 3 things you keep putting off.
1) Refilling my migraine medication
2) Packing
3) My credit card bill
Soup
What do you feel is your greatest responsibility?
Trying to stay healthy physically and mentally
Salad
If you could have starred in any movie, which one would you have wanted to be in and why?
This is a tough one. I'd like to pick something Oscar-worthy, but I think it would have been really cool to play the lead in Underworld. Kate Beckinsale trained so that she wouldn't blink when she shot guns, which is a natural reaction. And here you though Keanu did it to look cool. Really, he just couldn't keep from blinking.
Main Course
What is an expectation you had as a child about being an adult and, now that you are grown up, you realize you were wrong?
That I would get married at age 20. What the hell was I thinking?
Dessert
When was the last time you had your car serviced?
I had the radiator replaced last summer. I don't take it anywhere for oil changes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
