I've been pensive lately. I blame it on Tina being out of town. She'll be back in a few hours, but I'll probably be taking a candlelit bubble bath and reading a book. I finally defeated the migraine. Mostly, I've just been thinking.
Being 22 is strange. I'm more of an adult than when I was barely-legal 21, but I'm not quite old enough to pretend to have amassed any sort of life-changing wisdom or practical experience. However, taking a little license, here are a few of my observations.
1. Many people aren't worth your time. People, especially female ones, try to force themselves to see the good in everyone. That's not a bad practice, but if the bad far outweighs the good, don't force yourself to pretend to like someone you can't stand. Be civil, be courteous, but don't bend over backward telling yourself how great of a person they probably are when they aren't being an asshole. Some people are assholes. Locate them, and avoid them at all costs.
2. Sometimes things get really fucked up. Politically, personally, grammatically (please tell me someone got that), some things just get fucked up. Sometimes it isn't even anyone's fault. If it's not something you can change, just accept it and go about your daily life. Don't sweat the small stuff, and don't sweat the unavoidable big stuff, either.
3. Never compromise yourself. If you don't know who you are and what you stand for yet, from what I understand, that's what your 20s are for.
4. Cars are unreliable. Surround yourself with reliable friends so you'll always have a ride. I'm lucky to have a large group of people who have driven me to Hendersonville at night, to Franklin at 4:30 a.m., and have let me borrow transportation when my proved sub-par.
5. You really do look better in hindsight. I got picture happy today and updated my MySpace photos, and even of pictures from two years ago, I think, "You know, I didn't look half bad." Hindsight is key here. Generally, if people have the attitude of knowing how attractive they are (think about those girls you couldn't stand in middle school or high school), they usually have a hideous personality to match it. Either that, or they grow up to be really unattractive.
That's all I've got for now, other than the conclusion. At the end of the day, I think I'm all right. I don't compromise who I am, I try not to dwell on things I can't change, and I'm finding my own company more enjoyable each day. I may not be finished yet, but I think I'm off to a good start. I'm not even sure what prompted me to be so sappy just now (no, it's not PMS). I guess because I know self-confidence and self-satisfaction come in waves, and it's nice to document the good times, which people usually forget to do.
There are few things in life more beautiful than listening to "Adagio for Strings" and being completely satisfied with yourself.
Monday, July 25, 2005
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