You Want Me to Put That Where?

I woke up this morning with, yes, more of the terrible pain that persisted all weekend. As a side note, thanks to Robert for keeping me company while I was on narcotics and in terrible pain Saturday night/Sunday morning. You can be my wing man anytime!

Anyway, back to Monday. I woke up with terrible pain. I then woke Tina up for some ER fun, and away we went. After giving them the rundown of what my other doctors visits yielded last week, I was ready for...

MORE PREGNANCY TESTS.

Yes, while I had one last Wednesday and haven't had sex since, they still need to give me a pregnancy test.

So here's the weird thing: I had a bladder infection. Yeah, I'm not pregnant still, but the infection is new. It's apparently from cyst fluid leakage or I don't know. Anyway, that was new.

Of course, before they told me this, they had to ultrasound me to look for more cysts.

Well, apparently the bladder is involved in checkin' out the ovaries, because the dude couldn't see them because they'd just had me empty my bladder for the not-pregnant test.

He said I had two options:

1) Look at the ovaries from the inside, where I would, as he said, "put it in like a tampon"

2) Go back, drink liquid, wait about an hour, possibly start an IV (I immediately freaked out at the thought of a needle going in me), and then maybe do the inserting camera thing anyway

Well, after the unexpected pelvic exam Friday where they felt my ovary and asked if it hurt, I was pretty much up for anything that would help.

I plan to use this scenario as leverage when my parents bitch about the hospital bill.

Number of health care professionals who have seen the inside of my vagina in the past week: 4, if you count the female nurses who have to be in the room as well to make sure nothing bad happens

Number of people I've had sex with: 2

Something is seriously wrong with those numbers.