I Cried at Six Flags Over Jesus

Kari got married, and it was beautiful. The church she had it at is this massively large new Methodist church in Murfreesboro. The church is so big, in fact, that some of my friends have dubbed it "Six Flags Over Jesus."

So when the time came for my Lil Sis Kari to walk down the aisle on her wedding day, I cried. It's weird that I cry at weddings, but I do. Partly because she's growing up, getting married, starting a new life and it's something that we all kind of have to let her do on her own. Partly it's because I'm happy for her. And I think partly it's because I'm sad for me. Kari has a kind of happiness that I don't, and while I'd rather see her happy than myself happy, it's still nice to have something to look forward to. I don't have much to look forward to these days.

Let's backtrack a bit to Thursday. Thursday is a day I'd rather forget, but odds are I'm not going to, so we might as well just cut to the chase. Very short story because the details are about as painful as getting a tattoo (which I will get to later) go as follows: Someone I love very much cares not whether I live or die.

Now, love is an extremely intense emotion. Hate is an extremely intense emotion. Indifference might as well be a non-emotion. There are few if any people on this planet I am indifferent to, and it sure as hell isn't anyone I ever loved in any way.

Que sera sera. So come Friday (my first day off in two weeks) I decided that if I was going to go through intense emotional pain, I needed something to show for it. Ergo, my new tattoo. The Tina got one, too. So now I'm permanently scarred - literally. Wasn't that clever? How I tied that together? Yeah, I amaze myself somethings, but enough of the biting sarcasm.

Friday night turned into a lovely episode of some show I'd call "A Girl, a Guy, and a Jeremy" if I were pitching it to a network television executive. First we have the Tina. Second is Clarke. Third is Jeremy. Now, watching these three in a room (and that happens quite often being as though they live together) is more entertaining than any reality television show they've got.

And lest I piss anyone off to the point of no return, this next part is, you know, supposed to be FUNNY. Not real. Funny, with slices of reality mixed in.

Jeremy is this strong guy with some nice tattoos and some nice muscles. The funniest thing about him is that he's currently involved in some penis rediscovery that makes everything he does incredibly funny, and if it isn't incredibly funny, Clarke makes an incredibly funny comment about it.

Clarke has some muscles, too. And a tattoo. So you've got two tattooed strong guys in a house, so you're naturally going to have some fun interaction. Clarke, by the way, is not rediscovering his penis and is mainly concerned with never discovering Jeremy's. This alone is a sitcom.

Enter the Tina, the token girl with the token cat. Also the token smoker. So what each episode about is basically it's almost bedtime, but everyone is restless. Hilarity ensues.

Episode One: The Gigantic Chickens
Episode Two: Can I Break It, Fuck It, or Eat It?

But enough of that - you guys know I only do this because I love you and I think you're all very funny.

To Kari and Matt: I love you guys. Enjoy marital bliss. Have some for me!