I Bet You Think This Blog Is about You

Manda's overly ambitious, and I strive to do the same, so, not to be outdone, here are the 200 questions she did on her blog.

001. Your Full name: Wendy Kaye Caldwell

002. Do you feel like your name fits you? Well, I guess, because when people call me Wendy, I tend to answer. My mom wanted to name me Tiffany, but my dad wouldn't let her because he called it a "lamp name." That actually happened. I can't make this shit up.

003. Do you have an alter ego? I hope so! That sounds fun! I do sometimes have evil tendencies, like when I play video games. So, yeah, My alter ego is evil. Whoa. I really need to stop capitalizing self references.

004. Where were you born? Knoxville, TN

005. Where do you live? Starbucks...I mean Murfreesboro, TN

006. Do you like to travel? An enthusiastic yes!

007. What is your birthday? 12/20/1982

008. Do you have siblings? Misty, 23

009. Do you have pets? 2 cats: Macavity and Mistofolees. I was going to get a kitten for my place with the Tina, but they want another $400 pet deposit, so that's pretty much me saying, "Go fuck yourself." Tina has two pets: Destiny (cat) and Cademan (Chinchilla). I'm hoping to get a water dragon soon.

010. Which was the happiest year of your life? I was doing well when I was 19 and 20.

011. How old do you wish you were? 23 or 24...by then hopefully I'll be out of college.

012. A movie is being made about your life. Who would you cast to play yourself? Sarah Michelle Gellar...hey, no one said she had to look like me. Or maybe Natalie Portman. Or Kiera Knightley. I'd like to be British in my movie.

013. Who would you cast to play your significant other? JOHNNY DEPP (the way he looked in Chocolat.

014. How would this movie end? With credits. I don't know. If it ended at this point in my life, I guess I'd be blogging questions about myself as the credits rolled and some sad song played. Nah, it'd end on a beach at sunset.

015. Is it better to be famous or infamous? Yes.

016. You're going to die a natural death. What is the cause? Cancer or heart attack. I actually discussed this last night. Weird!

017. You're going to die a sudden, tragic death. What is the cause? Spontaneous combustion OR doing something heroic, like saving a troup of Girl Scouts from some wild dogs on PCP.

018. How long do you plan on living? Longer than my vegetarian friends, just to prove a point. Actually, I don't PLAN on living. It just kind of happens by me making it through each day.

019. What was the last song you got stuck in your head? "Help Somebody" on the Van Zant CD and "Sugar (Give Me Some" by Trick Daddy.

020. Sing any commercial jingle. Usually when I'm forced to sing they say "Please" and I get a cookie. This was a tough call, and I almost picked "Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence," but I opted for the Log theme: What rolls down stairs/Alone or in pairs/Rolls over your neighbor's dog?/What's great for a snack/And fits on your back?/It's Log! Log! Log!/It's Lo-og! It's Lo-og!/It's big, it's heavy/It's wood!/It's Lo-og! It's Lo-og!It's better than bad/It's good!"

021. What is your favorite element on the periodic table? Aresenic...Just kidding! I like...Berylium. It's fun to say!

022. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset in winter, sunrise in summer

023. Introvert or extrovert? Extrovert

024. Creation or evolution? Yes.

025. Action or reaction? I react to the actions of others.

026. Unity or individuality? These two aren't mutually exclusive. Ooh! Big phrases! Yeah...it's a Venn Diagram thing.

027. Hugs or drugs? I don't know...I never had a hug that made me see flowers dancing...I'm kidding. Definitely hugs. Unless the drug is alcohol. Then a little of both. I mean a lot of both.

028. Animal, vegetable, or mineral? For what? Dinner or lifetime companion? Animal.

029. Popsicle, creamcicle, or fudgecicle? Fudge!!!!!

030. Fight or flight? Are swords or guns involved? I need to weigh my options.

031. Who is your favorite historical figure? Rene Descartes or Harry S. Truman

032. Which historical figure could we have done without? I'd like to say Hitler, Stalin, or Mussolini, but they had too much impact on the world. I'm going to go with Adam. You know, the first man. OK, enough sarcasm. Millard Filmore takes the cake again! I mean, really, what did he DO?

033. What happened in the last dream you remember? I don't know. I usually remember my dreams, but I usually forget them shortly after. I think my mom was there.

034. Do nice guys really finish last? I don't know. Not being a nice guy, I'm really not equipped to answer this question.

035. What are your favorite boy names? Bradley, Steven, Michael

036. What are your favorite girl names? Elisabeth

037. Open or closed? Cracked? I don't know what this is asking.

038. White bread or wheat bread? White!

039. Is it better to burn out than to fade away? Yes. Burning is fun to watch.

040. You put a quarter into a toy machine. What comes out? The quarter. Fuck this machine!

041.What do you want to be when you grow up? I'm not grown up yet? Ideally, I want to marry someone way out of my league, be filthy rich and do nothing.

042. What were your favorite childhood toys? Any board game or card game

043. What was your first pet? A cat named Nic-Nac

045. What is your favorite action caption from the old batman tv show? Ummm...Yeah...I don't have one...I'm going to steal Manda's: POW!

046. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? The world may never know. And I may never care.

047. The glass... half empty or half full? Half empty.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON

048. Tightie whities. Ahh! No! Make it stop!

049. McDonalds happy meals. I like the Might Kids Meal - it's just enough food for a mighty kid such as myself.

050. Reality shows. Survivor was good back in the day. It's the only tolerable one.

051. Gummi bears or gummi worms? Worms

052. Would you rather sky dive or deep sea dive? Sky dive! Let's go now!

053. Paper or plastic? Plastic

054. What position do you sleep in? I don't know. I never see myself sleep. Ask someone who sleeps with me. Most likely, it's on my side. That's always the last position I remember before I fall asleep.

055. Do you sleep on the left, right, or the middle of the bed? Middle

056. Sweet or sour? SWEET!

057. What was your favorite after school special? What kind of answer was yours, Manda? I don't like after school specials.

058. What is your favorite word? fuck

059. Beach or mountains? beach

060. Mounds or almond joy? I don't like coconut unless it's in the form of Malibu rum

061. Do you feel like a nut? I feel like a mass of flesh and bones. Oh, wait! I am!

062. To give or to receive? Both

063. Chocolate or caramel? chocolate

064. Do you have any nicknames? Yes: Wen, Wend, Wendell, Firecracker

065. What does your name mean? Shepherdess I believe...Yeah, weird.

066. Have you ever fainted? Yes.

067. Have you ever had a crush on a school teacher? Nope

068. What was the last thing you ate? Blue Coast chicken soft tacos

069. Do you have any bad habits? I talk about myself ALL the time...I mean, really, it's bad! Notice the capitalizing of "my" a few questions up? That's not the first time I've done that.

WORD ASSOCIATION
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear...

070. Grey... Street

071. Human... Android

072. Fruit loop... Toucan

073. Glove... Baseball

074. Plum... Clue

075. Structure... Building

076. Race...car

077. Heart... blood

078. Parasite... tick

079. What was your first happy memory? Climbing on the playground when I was 2

080. What was your first unhappy memory? Getting stung by a hornet when I was 3 or 4

081. If you could visit any time period, what would it be? I like now. Now is good for me. Or maybe two years ahead, like 2007. That'd be perfect.

082. What would Jesus do? Are Klondike bars involved? Am I supposed to say "this survey?" I don't think Jesus would accuse people of not loving Him if they didn't forward some e-mail to 27 of their closest friends.

083. Make up a word and define it. Sornication: Having sex with a nun. See, I used my Latin roots (soror is sister)!

084. Favourite [fruit drink] flavour? How is this question British and the next one not? I like Sharkleberry Fin Kool-Aid (but it's gone now) and Strawberry Kiwi everything.

085. Favorite pick up line? LOL Manda I love yours! I have yet to have a line that worked, so I'm going to use Manda's: Are your parents retarded? Cause you look like a special girl!

086. Who was the third gunman on the grassy knoll? Deep Throat. It's as good a guess as any, I suppose. I mean, why just be involved in one president's doings?

087. What did you like to make believe as a child? That I was going to get married when I was 20...HAHA!

088. Did you have an imaginary friend? No

089. Would you like to live in a castle or a mansion? A mansion that looks like a castle from the outside

090. Re-arrange some of the letters in your first, middle, and last name to form a description of you. Wacky and well-eyed

091. Do it fast or do it right? Right

092.What was the last book you read? I'm rereading Harry Potter

093. Have you ever had surgery? Yes, several times

094. Random fact about you: I'm related to Jesse James

095. What is the first thing you wash in the shower? hair

096. What is your favorite cereal? Cocoa Puffs

097. If you could learn any foreign language, what would it be? Greek

098. If you had the choice to live forever, would you? Depends - is the apocalypse close? Because 100 years sounds good, but 100,000 and I'd get lonely.

099. If you had the choice to be the opposite sex for a day, would you? Proably

DO YOU BELIEVE IN..

100. Fate? Yes

101. Ghosts? Yes, and someday, I hope to haunt the hell out of some people

102. God? Yes

103. Bigfoot? It's not impossible

104. Soul mates? Yes

105. Aliens? "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." - Bill Waterson, Calvin and Hobbes

106. Angels? Yes

107. Lochness monster? Why not

108. Heaven and hell? I believe in afterlife

109. The Zodiac? Sure

110. Love at first sight? I think you can know at first sight whether someone will be important to your life

111. Karma? Yes

112. Vampires? Nah, Buffy killed them all

113. If you had any super power, what would it be? Mind reading

114. Would you use your power for good or evil? I'd use it to my advantage, so hopefully I have good intentions

115. Name something nostalgic. High school football

116. What are your turn-ons in the opposite sex? Nice arms (good for holding), nice eyes (good for looking), nice brain (good for talking)

117. What are your turn-offs in the opposite sex? Sleazy guys, and guys who talk so slow you don't think they got out of middle school

118. What was the best compliment ever given to you? "Does God ever make mistakes? You are the way you are for a reason." - Nick (aww, tear)

119. Which character from Scooby Doo do you most relate to? Daphne, because Buffy plays her, and I don't want to pick Velma, but really, it's Velma. No, just kidding. Fred. He's all about Fred.

120. What is the worst trend of the present time? Reality television. And Republican presidents. I'm afraid when they come out with some reality George W. Bush-a-thon. Then it's time to smash the TV.

121. Beer or wine? If you can't shoot it, don't drink it.

THE PART OF 122 WILL BE PLAYED BY A QUESTION I MADE UP, BECAUSE THERE WAS NO 122

122. Do you like long surveys? This one's growing on me..

123. You can't sleep. Look at me now. What? I'm guessing Manda added "Look at me now." I'm going to say that I usually can't sleep, so I stay up. And drink. Or not. But usually yes.

124. Do you wear jewelry? Earrings, belly ring, hematite ring

125. What is your favorite smell? Clove

126. What was the best decade of the past century? The 1990s. I remember them. I was there.

127. Which is your favorite month of the year? July

128. Do you smoke? No

129. Do you drink? NO! Oh, you meant alcohol? Well, yeah.

130. What was your favorite subject in school? Math

131. What was your worst subject in school? PE? I don't know.

132. If you had to give up one of your senses, what would it be? Scent

133. Do you follow your head, your heart, or your crotch? My breasts - they're usually in front

134. Do you truly know who you are? I know enough about myself to steal my own identity

135. Are you superstitious? Sometimes

136. Are you sentimental? Yes

137. How many times a day do you eat? Once or so - I'm poor

138. Are you more of a main idea or detail type of person? Details

WHOA! MANY QUESTIONS JUST GOT STOLEN!

152. If love were a flavour, which flavour would it be? Back to the British thing...warm apple pie. OK, umm, chocolate

153. If hate were a flavour, which flavour would it be? Dirt

154. Have you ever been prescribed any drugs? Yes

155. Is lying sometimes necessary? Maybe not necessary, but sometimes is the lesser of two evils

156. Bubbleyum or bubblicious? Hubba Bubba!

157. What is your favourite curse word? Fuck

158. Do you have any birthmarks? Surprisingly, no. Now, don't go telling me that everyone has one and I just haven't found mine yet. I know my body better than you do, and I've been birthmark free for 22 years. Thanks, mom.

159. If you could visit anywhere in the US, where would it be? New York!!!!

160. If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would it be? Greece

162. Do you feel like your physical self matches your personality? Yes, totally. I act like a little girl who wishes she could beat the shit out of people if need be.

163. What was the name of your kindergarten teacher? Miss Calloway

164. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Nope, I'm 20/20 in both eyes.

165. How tall are you? 5’5"

166. How tall would you like to be? 5’7”

167. Your current mood: peaceful

168. Do you dress up for Halloween? Of course!

169. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes, but fear not, I survived

170. What is your favourite lucky charm? My Lynyrd Skynyrd 30 Years Thong (Yes, it's true. I have a lucky thong)

171. What color of underwear are you wearing? Purple, lacy, kind of randomly strapped...OK, stop picturing me in my underwear!

172. Do you tend to date people younger or older than you? Within two years both ways usually

173. Do your exes look alike? Not even close

174. Do your exes act alike? Not even close

175. Have you ever been in love? Yes

176. What is your favourite kids movie? The Little Mermaid! and The Emperor's New Groove!

177. Have you ever hallucinated? Probably from lack of sleep

178. What do you like most about the opposite sex? Feeling safe...I like to be held

179. What do you hate most about the opposite sex? How they just don't seem to care about the things that bother us.

180. Have you ever been on a blind date? God no

181. Would you want to be cloned? I don't think the world is ready for two Wendys

182. Have you ever peed in public? No

183. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Realist

184. How did you find out that there was no Santa Claus? There's no Santa Claus?

185. Pancakes or waffles? Yes, with extra butter

186. Are you on a diet? Funny

187. Why is the grass always greener on the other side? Our grass has jaundice

188. Do you always want what you can't have? Yes, if I could have it, then I wouldn't want it. I'd have it.

189. Do you act stupid around someone you have a crush on? Probably, but I like to think I'm too cool for that

190. Have you ever been arrested? Nope

191. Can you cook? Yes

192. Do you think its wrong/weird if a girl asks a guy out? Nope, I've done it

193. Do you have any allergies? Yes: Mold, dust, anything that blooms, sulfa drugs

194. Ketchup or catsup? I never have to spell that word

195. Do you believe there is a meaning to life? Yeah, but we're all too dumb to figure it out

196. What do you think about before you fall asleep? I'm usually trying to stay awake to watch something

197. What are your thoughts on the nature of good and evil? Most people are inherently good; I am inherently evil. I fight it well. I think we all have tendencies for both.

198. Step into your cave. There you will find your power animal. What kind of animal is it? A white tiger. A SEXY white tiger. Grrrrrr!

199. What does your power animal say to you? Holy shit, a talking human!

200. End this survey with a quote: "If I had gotten syphilis or a does of clap for my five minutes of passion on the beach instead of this damned mosquito bite, I could see some justice. But malaria? Malaria? Who can explain malaria as a consequence of fornication?" - Catch-22