This Bag Is Not a Toy...But This Lightsaber Is!

I had a somewhat productive hour since I first rolled out of bed. I put this thing together for my bathroom. It was great fun because I got to use power tools. No, it didn't take the whole hour.

Of course, it came with all the proper warnings to keep me from accidentally suffocating myself in a fit of glee. "This bag is not a toy." No shit! I have yet, in my 22 1/2 years of existence (sans womb time), come across a bag that was a toy. Why would I think that this one bag on this bathroom contraption is, in fact, the first bag toy ever?

Sometimes I wonder how people can be so stupid, and then I realize: They're not me! That explains a lot, really.

Tonight, at 12:01 a.m., I will be indulging in the new Star Wars movie, Revenge of the Sith. I'm so fuckin' excited I can barely sit still. I pity the fools who have to work with me for six hours tonight, listening to me say things like "May the Force be with you," "I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie," and "Would somebody please get this walking carpet out of my way?"

I'm chock full of Star Wars quotes, and I hope to make a reference at least every half hour. You know, to entice them to call Tracie to come in earlier so I can leave.

A special shoutout to Tracie, who is coming in to finish my shift, leaving her visiting boyfriend in the car so that I can contemplate going to the Dark Side.

Last week, I drew a lightsaber fight on the deployment board in the back with the phrase "Join the Dark Side! We have cookies!" written next to it. I totally stole that from Manda's blog, but I'm OK with that.

And now, let's end with some George Lucas magic.

Leia: Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited.
Well, that's a shame. It's OK, Han, you can come hold me.

Yoda: No. Try not. Do...or do not. There is no try.
Thanks. I'll keep that in mind the next time I take an accounting test.

Darth Vader: Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me.
Wait a minute - I can destroy Darth Vader AND release my anger? Sign me up!

Yoda: Away put your weapon. I mean you no arm.
Wow, Manda, it's just what your mom said last night!

Han Solo: Chewie. This can't help me. There'll be another time. The Princess. You have to take care of her. All right?
What? No! Bring back the handsome scoundrel!

OK, bad things will happen if I don't shower now, so I'm off to work, then to Star Wars! I'm actually humming the theme music right now. Sweet!