It's a sad day for journalists everywhere. Our dear Hunter S. Thompson died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Ouch.
I think I'm gettin' the fear, man...
Yeah, for those not so well versed in gonzo journalism, perhaps you're familiar with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas or the upcoming film The Rum Diaries.
Or maybe you live in a small hole in the ground and have no idea what I'm blogging about.
And rather than be overly sentimental and brooding, I'll end with this fitting quote:
"And that, I think, was the handle – that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting – on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark – the place where the wave finally broke and rolled back."
Damn right.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Sunday, February 20, 2005
ERICA and Wendy go to Bad Cracker Barrel
This is the all-ERICA blog! It's all-ERICA, all the time!
So Friday night was our Friends and Family night at Starbucks, and wouldn't you know it, my friend ERICA came! Well, I'd heard through the sorority grapevine that some type of party (which is a tame way of saying drunken crazy bash) was going to occur at my apartment. Not wanting to get caught up in that bruhaha, I suggested to ERICA that we hang out when I got off work.
When I got home from work, I changed clothes and then called ERICA. I went to her apartment, and we sat around a bit and watched a preview of "Naked News" before embarking on a lovely fun-filled adventure to the "bad Cracker Barrel."
At the BCC, we played that peg game. ERICA and I are not geniuses, and that's all I'll say about that.
I bought some Razzles and Tongue Splashers gum from the Old Country Store. Mmm. Well, actually, ERICA and I decided that the Razzles really tasted more like Flintstone vitamins than candy/gum. We ate them on the way to ERICA's apartment.
While driving back, I found out something disturbing about ERICA: She's afraid of driving over railroad tracks. In point of fact, she simply refuses to do it at all. She let go of the wheel while driving over the tracks. I wonder what it's like when she tries to beat the train.
I was prompt to tell ERICA how weird it was that she just let go of the wheel, and I happened to do this while we drove by some crosses by the side of the road. ERICA said I shouldn't be laughing because someone died there. Then we kept eating Razzles.
ERICA and I went to the gas station for some drinks and lottery tickets. I won a free ticket, but they're not redeemable on third shift, according to the supercool cashier whose fake nametag name escapes me.
At ERICA's place, we had some drinks and spent way too long trying to open the Tongue Splashers. Yes, they really are as good as you remember.
I slept at ERICA's because my ghetto-ass apartment still has no heat. The bastards!
The next morning, I woke up at ERICA's, but ERICA was still asleep. She said she was going to yoga at 10 a.m., but I have my doubts as to whether or not she made it.
So Friday night was our Friends and Family night at Starbucks, and wouldn't you know it, my friend ERICA came! Well, I'd heard through the sorority grapevine that some type of party (which is a tame way of saying drunken crazy bash) was going to occur at my apartment. Not wanting to get caught up in that bruhaha, I suggested to ERICA that we hang out when I got off work.
When I got home from work, I changed clothes and then called ERICA. I went to her apartment, and we sat around a bit and watched a preview of "Naked News" before embarking on a lovely fun-filled adventure to the "bad Cracker Barrel."
At the BCC, we played that peg game. ERICA and I are not geniuses, and that's all I'll say about that.
I bought some Razzles and Tongue Splashers gum from the Old Country Store. Mmm. Well, actually, ERICA and I decided that the Razzles really tasted more like Flintstone vitamins than candy/gum. We ate them on the way to ERICA's apartment.
While driving back, I found out something disturbing about ERICA: She's afraid of driving over railroad tracks. In point of fact, she simply refuses to do it at all. She let go of the wheel while driving over the tracks. I wonder what it's like when she tries to beat the train.
I was prompt to tell ERICA how weird it was that she just let go of the wheel, and I happened to do this while we drove by some crosses by the side of the road. ERICA said I shouldn't be laughing because someone died there. Then we kept eating Razzles.
ERICA and I went to the gas station for some drinks and lottery tickets. I won a free ticket, but they're not redeemable on third shift, according to the supercool cashier whose fake nametag name escapes me.
At ERICA's place, we had some drinks and spent way too long trying to open the Tongue Splashers. Yes, they really are as good as you remember.
I slept at ERICA's because my ghetto-ass apartment still has no heat. The bastards!
The next morning, I woke up at ERICA's, but ERICA was still asleep. She said she was going to yoga at 10 a.m., but I have my doubts as to whether or not she made it.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
"My unrivaled awesomeness!"
Colby did something blog-worthy today.
The trouble is I don't remember what it was. I was in the office today, and I remember saying to him, "You might make the blog today." And even though he ragged on me for not blogging more often, I decided to make good on my non-promise.
Michaela wants to make the blog, too. I've chosen her as my assistant. This really doesn't mean anything, as I have no authority to do this and have no need for an assistant. Mostly I just suggest that she do things for me, and she doesn't do them, and that's that. But once I gave her my debit card to get me a sandwich, and that was nice.
I have given her the extremely important responsibility of bringing me back a cheesy souvenir from San Francisco. I'm talking really cheesy, like a box of Rice-A-Roni made to look like a cable car and wrapped in a rainbow-colored gay pride shirt. Let's hope she remembers. If she does, I bet she'll make the blog again.
OK, enough with the enticing Michaela to bring me stuff.
Manda and I have been engaging in a back-and-forth bickering dialogue via the Sidelines dry erase story board. It started in the Opinions section and it's starting to leak into State & Local and Sports. Each comment has an arrow pointing to the next one. It's really quite amusing.
It all started with the listings of which columnists run each day, so under my name it says "who is still awesome."
Here is how the rest reads thus far:
"Bah, we'll see about that."
"Insanely jealous."
"Jealous of what?"
"My unrivaled awesomeness!"
"Hey! Hey! Be civil now!"
"Your mom's civil!"
"What?"
"I'm not responsible for your mom's shortcomings."
Indeed, I'm not.
The trouble is I don't remember what it was. I was in the office today, and I remember saying to him, "You might make the blog today." And even though he ragged on me for not blogging more often, I decided to make good on my non-promise.
Michaela wants to make the blog, too. I've chosen her as my assistant. This really doesn't mean anything, as I have no authority to do this and have no need for an assistant. Mostly I just suggest that she do things for me, and she doesn't do them, and that's that. But once I gave her my debit card to get me a sandwich, and that was nice.
I have given her the extremely important responsibility of bringing me back a cheesy souvenir from San Francisco. I'm talking really cheesy, like a box of Rice-A-Roni made to look like a cable car and wrapped in a rainbow-colored gay pride shirt. Let's hope she remembers. If she does, I bet she'll make the blog again.
OK, enough with the enticing Michaela to bring me stuff.
Manda and I have been engaging in a back-and-forth bickering dialogue via the Sidelines dry erase story board. It started in the Opinions section and it's starting to leak into State & Local and Sports. Each comment has an arrow pointing to the next one. It's really quite amusing.
It all started with the listings of which columnists run each day, so under my name it says "who is still awesome."
Here is how the rest reads thus far:
"Bah, we'll see about that."
"Insanely jealous."
"Jealous of what?"
"My unrivaled awesomeness!"
"Hey! Hey! Be civil now!"
"Your mom's civil!"
"What?"
"I'm not responsible for your mom's shortcomings."
Indeed, I'm not.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Mmm...Tangy!
Matt and I ate air freshener.
I only ate it because Nick said, "It says, 'Tastes like candy. Eat all of it at once.'" Matt, however, ate it because he's an idiot.
We've yet to figure out whether or not it's toxic (I was gonna Google it, but we're not sure what brand it is), but it's been a few minutes and no one's passed out yet.
It tastes just like it smells. And it smells like citrusy goodness. And chewing gum.
So Nick (no last name) tried to get everyone in the office to eat the air freshener. He was unsuccessful, and he didn't even eat any himself. He doesn't know what a treat he's missing.
I sometimes feel good about myself because the SGA and all the people at this university help contribute to our yearly trip of getting wasted and galivanting around a big city.
I'm glad that at home I have some Dove truffles (courtesy of Adam) at home to take the taste out of my mouth. At least my mouth is citrusy fresh.
While discussing the Hubbert Peak (not long after air freshener appetizers), Kristin suggested that we're really not running out of oil, and we'll be able to survive if we take over all the countries that have it because they're "greedy little bastards."
I only ate it because Nick said, "It says, 'Tastes like candy. Eat all of it at once.'" Matt, however, ate it because he's an idiot.
We've yet to figure out whether or not it's toxic (I was gonna Google it, but we're not sure what brand it is), but it's been a few minutes and no one's passed out yet.
It tastes just like it smells. And it smells like citrusy goodness. And chewing gum.
So Nick (no last name) tried to get everyone in the office to eat the air freshener. He was unsuccessful, and he didn't even eat any himself. He doesn't know what a treat he's missing.
I sometimes feel good about myself because the SGA and all the people at this university help contribute to our yearly trip of getting wasted and galivanting around a big city.
I'm glad that at home I have some Dove truffles (courtesy of Adam) at home to take the taste out of my mouth. At least my mouth is citrusy fresh.
While discussing the Hubbert Peak (not long after air freshener appetizers), Kristin suggested that we're really not running out of oil, and we'll be able to survive if we take over all the countries that have it because they're "greedy little bastards."
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
The Vagina Monoblogues
So it's been a while since I've blogged, but I've had good reason. Erica introduced me to this great game, and I've been sucked into DynoMite ever since.
We've had an interesting day in the office. It's been a sad day for journalism, as several stories have had blatant errors or have just sucked.
OK, you bastards, stop playing DynoMite and keep reading. The game will still be there. Damn me and my links.
There are several new countries I'm unaware of, but according to a story, they're real: Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. Yeah. Not countries.
Did you know that the vagina is a metaphor?
I immediately contested this.
"My vagina's not a metaphor! It's real!" I screamed in protest.
Speaking of vaginas, Valentine's Day is coming up. Yeah, that's completely unrelated.
I'm deeply disturbed that it's Wednesday night and I still have no Valentine's Day plan, other than my 6 p.m. date with my Risk Management class. And I know that Adam usually doesn't work on Mondays, so I'm hoping I'll get to do something with him, being as though my Valentine's Days usually suck.
So, if I have no Valentine's Day plans by Thursday night, I'm going to have my own Valentine's Day celebration and go out after class with Erica and have some drinks or watch TV or something.
Oh, and I'm now Jay's Watch. And Joey is still awesome.
And, for those who just can't help but wonder, my metaphorical vagina is OK. Not LIKE OK, because that would be a simile. It IS OK.
We've had an interesting day in the office. It's been a sad day for journalism, as several stories have had blatant errors or have just sucked.
OK, you bastards, stop playing DynoMite and keep reading. The game will still be there. Damn me and my links.
There are several new countries I'm unaware of, but according to a story, they're real: Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. Yeah. Not countries.
Did you know that the vagina is a metaphor?
I immediately contested this.
"My vagina's not a metaphor! It's real!" I screamed in protest.
Speaking of vaginas, Valentine's Day is coming up. Yeah, that's completely unrelated.
I'm deeply disturbed that it's Wednesday night and I still have no Valentine's Day plan, other than my 6 p.m. date with my Risk Management class. And I know that Adam usually doesn't work on Mondays, so I'm hoping I'll get to do something with him, being as though my Valentine's Days usually suck.
So, if I have no Valentine's Day plans by Thursday night, I'm going to have my own Valentine's Day celebration and go out after class with Erica and have some drinks or watch TV or something.
Oh, and I'm now Jay's Watch. And Joey is still awesome.
And, for those who just can't help but wonder, my metaphorical vagina is OK. Not LIKE OK, because that would be a simile. It IS OK.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
I Am the Walrus
Mannix is dead.
Actually, Mannix is so close to dying I'm about to cut the life support.
Mannix is my car. Was my car. Now he's stuck at the Saturn in Franklin because he started making a terrible metal-on-metal sound that will cost me $1400 to fix.
So, alas, I must prepare to bid fare-well to my long-time friend.
I spent the day at Adam's watching the kids while his mom was gone, and the rest of the day was spent anxiously awaiting Clarke to come rescue me from the crazy house. I wasn't about to be stuck there with his mom all afternoon.
My sister has been planning on getting a car in February and then giving me hers. But Mannix just couldn't make it another month. It figures.
A special shout-out to Chrissy, who volunteered to meet me at my apartment at 4:30 a.m. on Thursday to get me to work in Franklin (training) by 5:30. You're a pal, Chrissy: I'll sell an extra pizza kit for you:)
Actually, Mannix is so close to dying I'm about to cut the life support.
Mannix is my car. Was my car. Now he's stuck at the Saturn in Franklin because he started making a terrible metal-on-metal sound that will cost me $1400 to fix.
So, alas, I must prepare to bid fare-well to my long-time friend.
I spent the day at Adam's watching the kids while his mom was gone, and the rest of the day was spent anxiously awaiting Clarke to come rescue me from the crazy house. I wasn't about to be stuck there with his mom all afternoon.
My sister has been planning on getting a car in February and then giving me hers. But Mannix just couldn't make it another month. It figures.
A special shout-out to Chrissy, who volunteered to meet me at my apartment at 4:30 a.m. on Thursday to get me to work in Franklin (training) by 5:30. You're a pal, Chrissy: I'll sell an extra pizza kit for you:)
Sunday, January 23, 2005
And Now, a Word from Our Sponsor
Starbucks Chantico drink with two dipping cookies: $3.50
Half order of fried pickles: $3.00
One Malibu and Coke: $5.00
Walking out of your job on your boss's shift: Priceless
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's, well, money.
So I quit Friday. Actually, I gave my two-week notice on Thursday night, but then she demoted me, so I quit. Oh well. Sucks to be her. I could care less.
After my 3 hours and 15 minutes of work, I met Jen up at Starbucks for some delicious beverages. Then we went to the Black Eyed Pea for some drinks and appetizers, where we met up with some friends of hers.
We went to her house where we kicked some MAJOR ass at Battle of the Sexes. So really, what we've learned here is that Jen and I are manly women. Good for us.
I'd blog more, but I am at work and should at least try to look productive. Coming up soon: A comment from one of the non-winners of Battle of the Sexes (hahaha - now you have to comment because I put it on here). And, a more in-depth blog will follow soon, and the much-awaited All-Erica Blogging Extravaganza!
By the way, be sure to check out my column on Sidelines by clicking the Opinions tab. It's the one about speeding fines.
Half order of fried pickles: $3.00
One Malibu and Coke: $5.00
Walking out of your job on your boss's shift: Priceless
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's, well, money.
So I quit Friday. Actually, I gave my two-week notice on Thursday night, but then she demoted me, so I quit. Oh well. Sucks to be her. I could care less.
After my 3 hours and 15 minutes of work, I met Jen up at Starbucks for some delicious beverages. Then we went to the Black Eyed Pea for some drinks and appetizers, where we met up with some friends of hers.
We went to her house where we kicked some MAJOR ass at Battle of the Sexes. So really, what we've learned here is that Jen and I are manly women. Good for us.
I'd blog more, but I am at work and should at least try to look productive. Coming up soon: A comment from one of the non-winners of Battle of the Sexes (hahaha - now you have to comment because I put it on here). And, a more in-depth blog will follow soon, and the much-awaited All-Erica Blogging Extravaganza!
By the way, be sure to check out my column on Sidelines by clicking the Opinions tab. It's the one about speeding fines.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Attention Brainiacs: It's Time to Breed More
Good news - we've just distinguished between bastard and illegitimate children.
So there was an Inauguration today, and I missed it. Oh well. I saw the first one, so I can just picture it in my head with a slightly-older Bush.
Holly (the Starbucks manager) called me last night, and they're hiring me as a shift supervisor! Rock! I have a training class Monday. Woohoo!
On another note, I'm in the Sidelines office, and we've been discussing procreation.
Why is it that the people who shouldn't procreate just keep on having babies? We've decided to urge smart people to breed more - the human race depends on it.
So, in conclusion, I have a job, I missed the Inauguration, and all smart people need to make babies. That is all.
So there was an Inauguration today, and I missed it. Oh well. I saw the first one, so I can just picture it in my head with a slightly-older Bush.
Holly (the Starbucks manager) called me last night, and they're hiring me as a shift supervisor! Rock! I have a training class Monday. Woohoo!
On another note, I'm in the Sidelines office, and we've been discussing procreation.
Why is it that the people who shouldn't procreate just keep on having babies? We've decided to urge smart people to breed more - the human race depends on it.
So, in conclusion, I have a job, I missed the Inauguration, and all smart people need to make babies. That is all.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Matt-Who? No, that's lame.
Today I discovered that I cannot walk and drink hot chocolate at the same time. How embarassing.
I had my second interview with the Starbucks DM today. I think it went well. Ironically, Starbucks requires multitasking. Hopefully I won't have to walk and make drinks at the same time. Yikes!
Afterward, I had to get a new social security card. I waited in line for an hour. Think the DMV, only much, much slower.
And, to Matthew, sorry for the calling you Matt for, like, ever. Colby's sorry, too. Nobody else cares. Especially Michaela. She's paralyzed with not caring very much.
Just kidding! We all love you, even if you don't read this, you self-absorbed something. Yeah. Vocabulary is like me walking and drinking hot chocolate. You better read this! And comment!
Oh, JR! Look at the time I posted.
I had my second interview with the Starbucks DM today. I think it went well. Ironically, Starbucks requires multitasking. Hopefully I won't have to walk and make drinks at the same time. Yikes!
Afterward, I had to get a new social security card. I waited in line for an hour. Think the DMV, only much, much slower.
And, to Matthew, sorry for the calling you Matt for, like, ever. Colby's sorry, too. Nobody else cares. Especially Michaela. She's paralyzed with not caring very much.
Just kidding! We all love you, even if you don't read this, you self-absorbed something. Yeah. Vocabulary is like me walking and drinking hot chocolate. You better read this! And comment!
Oh, JR! Look at the time I posted.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
3 Chicks, 3 Davids, and a Non-David
I haven't blogged in a while. I feel bad. I really haven't done much of anything other than work. So here's what happened.
Last weekend Leslie was in town, and she and Jen and I went to Bailey's, where we ran into 3 high school Davids, and some guy whose name we couldn't remember. These guys were far too cool for us in high school, but now my hair's longer and my boobs are bigger, so they can talk to me. We ended up going to one David's house to have some drinks and shoot some pool. It was a good night, especially because they admitted they were assholes in high school.
The other day, Vicki and I went bowling and hung out. I then went to K-Mart, where I ran into the Non-David. Yeah, I still can't remember his name.
I had an interview with Holly, the woman who's going to manage the new Smyrna Starbucks. Keep your fingers crossed that this will rescue me from the hell that is my current job. Face Mecca and pray.
I promise to blog more now that I'll be on campus as of Tuesday. What's on my agenda? Meeting with Jack and begging him to let me into his Philosophy and Film class. Here's hoping!
Last weekend Leslie was in town, and she and Jen and I went to Bailey's, where we ran into 3 high school Davids, and some guy whose name we couldn't remember. These guys were far too cool for us in high school, but now my hair's longer and my boobs are bigger, so they can talk to me. We ended up going to one David's house to have some drinks and shoot some pool. It was a good night, especially because they admitted they were assholes in high school.
The other day, Vicki and I went bowling and hung out. I then went to K-Mart, where I ran into the Non-David. Yeah, I still can't remember his name.
I had an interview with Holly, the woman who's going to manage the new Smyrna Starbucks. Keep your fingers crossed that this will rescue me from the hell that is my current job. Face Mecca and pray.
I promise to blog more now that I'll be on campus as of Tuesday. What's on my agenda? Meeting with Jack and begging him to let me into his Philosophy and Film class. Here's hoping!
Friday, January 07, 2005
"I'm OK with being unimpressive. I sleep better."
Dylan (Adam's son) called me "Mommy" yesterday. It was so cute I wanted to cry. OK, I did cry, but there were other reasons, too.
Speaking of Adam, he still hasn't called me. At first I was really worried, but I know he was at work, so nothing happened to him, he just didn't call me for whatever had better be a very good reason. I mean, I'm not all "call me," but if you SAY you're going to call you, you'd better do it. OK, that's all the boyfriend blogging for the day, I'm just frustrated.
The movie you must see right now: Garden State. I mean, seriously, get it RIGHT NOW! It's amazing. I saw it in Brooklyn for $10 and have spent $9 renting it (and, yes, I'd get it free if I waited 90 days). The title of this blog is actually a quote from that movie. Many thanks to Zach Braff for writing it - I take no credit other than being able to type accurately.
Speaking of movies, even more proof that Blockbuster is a waste of my potential:
So the corporate business GENIUSES that run this little operation seem to think it's a good idea to advertise "No More Late Fees!" Yeah, I think it's dumb, too. And yes, there is a catch: After 7 days, they charge you for the movie. Now, my store is a franchise, and we're not participating. You got that? So quit calling my damn store and asking me about the late fee bullshit, you ignorant bastards! Read the fine print: "At participating stores only." Now, I understand some people can't read fine print, but it was ON THE FREAKING NEWS that no store in Nashville or in a one-and-a-half-hour radius is participating, so chill out. Pay your $0.90 a day like everyone else. It's OK - worse things have happened.
My lip just started twitching uncontrollably. Well, aren't all twitches uncontrollable? I'd think so. How'd that phrase come about? I bet JR with his English language book would know. JR, please feel free to answer this question.
Speaking of JR, I have a new New Year's resolution: Not only am I going to blog MORE, I'm going to blog MORE than JR. So really, he's ahead of me right now. I've got to catch up. I mean, he's way smarter than me, and his life is much more Notting Hill-like, so I've got to win something.
The greatest thing I've heard all day comes from Chris Burke (who, sadly, has no blog): "Other than that, I've been tryin like hell all week to wade through this shit about vaginal dosage forms."
I think I'll end with that.
Speaking of Adam, he still hasn't called me. At first I was really worried, but I know he was at work, so nothing happened to him, he just didn't call me for whatever had better be a very good reason. I mean, I'm not all "call me," but if you SAY you're going to call you, you'd better do it. OK, that's all the boyfriend blogging for the day, I'm just frustrated.
The movie you must see right now: Garden State. I mean, seriously, get it RIGHT NOW! It's amazing. I saw it in Brooklyn for $10 and have spent $9 renting it (and, yes, I'd get it free if I waited 90 days). The title of this blog is actually a quote from that movie. Many thanks to Zach Braff for writing it - I take no credit other than being able to type accurately.
Speaking of movies, even more proof that Blockbuster is a waste of my potential:
So the corporate business GENIUSES that run this little operation seem to think it's a good idea to advertise "No More Late Fees!" Yeah, I think it's dumb, too. And yes, there is a catch: After 7 days, they charge you for the movie. Now, my store is a franchise, and we're not participating. You got that? So quit calling my damn store and asking me about the late fee bullshit, you ignorant bastards! Read the fine print: "At participating stores only." Now, I understand some people can't read fine print, but it was ON THE FREAKING NEWS that no store in Nashville or in a one-and-a-half-hour radius is participating, so chill out. Pay your $0.90 a day like everyone else. It's OK - worse things have happened.
My lip just started twitching uncontrollably. Well, aren't all twitches uncontrollable? I'd think so. How'd that phrase come about? I bet JR with his English language book would know. JR, please feel free to answer this question.
Speaking of JR, I have a new New Year's resolution: Not only am I going to blog MORE, I'm going to blog MORE than JR. So really, he's ahead of me right now. I've got to catch up. I mean, he's way smarter than me, and his life is much more Notting Hill-like, so I've got to win something.
The greatest thing I've heard all day comes from Chris Burke (who, sadly, has no blog): "Other than that, I've been tryin like hell all week to wade through this shit about vaginal dosage forms."
I think I'll end with that.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Aidan sign my bra! Oh shit, someone stole it!
enI realize I haven't blogged in a while, and I have really good reason. I've had a bit of a traumatic time since December decided to happen. So here's the quick rundown.
December 3 I worked the Martina McBride concert with Jennifer. Afterwards, we went out, leaving our things in her car. At The Stage on Broadway, I met John Corbett (the guy who plays Aidan on Sex and the City). He signed a bar napkin for me because my birthday is December 20. We returned to her SUV to find someone had broken the window and stolen one go-go boot (which I later recovered in the parking lot), my Phi Chi bag with my first and last name on it), and my purse. Here's the kicker: In my bag I had my almost brand-new Victoria's Secret Angels white bra. Someone stole my bra! I mean, I understand breaking into a car to steal a purse, but stay the hell away from my undergarments.
Luckily, I had a birthday coming up, so I told my mom I need a white Angels bra and I told her my size, to which she responded with: "You're a 36?" Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence, mom. On a random note: My boobs are getting bigger! It's the weirdest thing, but they're much fuller now. I quite enjoy them. My mom got me the bra for my birthday, by the way. Good times.
Christmas came and went, and I had to work for an hour and a half (yeah, I ducked out early). That night I went to the Christmas game with Adam and the rest of the game crew. We lost (who knew), but it was still fun.
Then New Years happened, and I had a swell time, then, too. I even made a resolution: To blog more often. See! I've already done it. Obviously, this will be easier once I'm back on campus and can utilize the Sidelines equipment for my own personal blogging.
I'm on my elipsis right now. It's that span of time before my period where my boobs get bigger (that's the trend these days), and sometimes I'm moody. But I'm not that bad right now. I think the bigger boobs help. It's like God saying, "Sorry I made you be one of the smart kids growing up - have some more boobs!"
Did I mention I had to work on Christmas? And New Year's Eve and Day? Yeah, the world is a cruel cruel place.
Oh, for those of you who are addicted to reality TV, JR's blog is better than anything those CBS guys could come up with. And the greatest part is it happens in England, so if you aren't amused enough when you first read it, go back and add a few "jolly goods" and "cheerios." Ahh...I think I could get into reality British TV.
Until we meet again, this is Wendy reminding everyone to STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY UNDERGARMENTS. Unless, of course, you have reason to believe you're allowed to touch them, but you'd better give them back, and that doesn't mean throw them across the room and assume I'll find them. I mean, have you even seen my room?
December 3 I worked the Martina McBride concert with Jennifer. Afterwards, we went out, leaving our things in her car. At The Stage on Broadway, I met John Corbett (the guy who plays Aidan on Sex and the City). He signed a bar napkin for me because my birthday is December 20. We returned to her SUV to find someone had broken the window and stolen one go-go boot (which I later recovered in the parking lot), my Phi Chi bag with my first and last name on it), and my purse. Here's the kicker: In my bag I had my almost brand-new Victoria's Secret Angels white bra. Someone stole my bra! I mean, I understand breaking into a car to steal a purse, but stay the hell away from my undergarments.
Luckily, I had a birthday coming up, so I told my mom I need a white Angels bra and I told her my size, to which she responded with: "You're a 36?" Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence, mom. On a random note: My boobs are getting bigger! It's the weirdest thing, but they're much fuller now. I quite enjoy them. My mom got me the bra for my birthday, by the way. Good times.
Christmas came and went, and I had to work for an hour and a half (yeah, I ducked out early). That night I went to the Christmas game with Adam and the rest of the game crew. We lost (who knew), but it was still fun.
Then New Years happened, and I had a swell time, then, too. I even made a resolution: To blog more often. See! I've already done it. Obviously, this will be easier once I'm back on campus and can utilize the Sidelines equipment for my own personal blogging.
I'm on my elipsis right now. It's that span of time before my period where my boobs get bigger (that's the trend these days), and sometimes I'm moody. But I'm not that bad right now. I think the bigger boobs help. It's like God saying, "Sorry I made you be one of the smart kids growing up - have some more boobs!"
Did I mention I had to work on Christmas? And New Year's Eve and Day? Yeah, the world is a cruel cruel place.
Oh, for those of you who are addicted to reality TV, JR's blog is better than anything those CBS guys could come up with. And the greatest part is it happens in England, so if you aren't amused enough when you first read it, go back and add a few "jolly goods" and "cheerios." Ahh...I think I could get into reality British TV.
Until we meet again, this is Wendy reminding everyone to STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY UNDERGARMENTS. Unless, of course, you have reason to believe you're allowed to touch them, but you'd better give them back, and that doesn't mean throw them across the room and assume I'll find them. I mean, have you even seen my room?
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Oh, Fuck, I Dropped My Crackers! OR Here I Come to Save the Gays!
I'm sitting in the Sidelines office with Manda, Colby, Matt, K-Hall, and the rest of the gang. Erica's here, too. I'm going to blog about Erica someday, but today is no such day.
I arrived in the office after working on my day off. I had an interview with Kristin (ne K-Hall) and found out that I'm going to do the Web site again next semester. Translation: I don't suck!
I also found out that instead of our usual March trip to NYC, we're jetting off to San Francisco, the land of cable cars, Rice-A-Roni, and Full House - a gay man's dream. Unfortunately, I am no gay man, though this is truly only unfortunate from a blogging perspective.
I won the lottery! Actually, I just got an extra pack of crackers out of the vening machine, but since I wasn't using my own money in the first place, it's like winning the lottery.
I got to see Adam for a whole 40 minutes last night before he had to go home. This sucks. This more than sucks. It sure was nice when we could do something other than meet up and say, "Hi. How are you? I missed you. I'm tired. I have to go now."
Hi. How are you? I missed you. I'm tired. I have to go now.
I arrived in the office after working on my day off. I had an interview with Kristin (ne K-Hall) and found out that I'm going to do the Web site again next semester. Translation: I don't suck!
I also found out that instead of our usual March trip to NYC, we're jetting off to San Francisco, the land of cable cars, Rice-A-Roni, and Full House - a gay man's dream. Unfortunately, I am no gay man, though this is truly only unfortunate from a blogging perspective.
I won the lottery! Actually, I just got an extra pack of crackers out of the vening machine, but since I wasn't using my own money in the first place, it's like winning the lottery.
I got to see Adam for a whole 40 minutes last night before he had to go home. This sucks. This more than sucks. It sure was nice when we could do something other than meet up and say, "Hi. How are you? I missed you. I'm tired. I have to go now."
Hi. How are you? I missed you. I'm tired. I have to go now.
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Let me drunk! I'm not drive!
Well, the long break for Thanksgiving meant I got to spend some quality time drinking with my parents. Here's the story.
Wednesday I was off from work, and the rest of the days I worked day shifts, if at all. So Wednesday night I met my parents at The Shack to hear Sammy play, along with Linda and Jimmy, Mike and Fran, and some guy (John I think) and his wife Linda.
I had about three drinks, a steak, and some dessert. At about 11 we decided to leave on account that everyone else, including the staff, was about to. Earlier in the evening Mike and Fran left, and since they rode with Linda and Jimmy, my dad told them to take the CRV.
Well, when the rest of our crew was ready to go, we realized there were few sober drivers and even fewer seats in vehicles.
Because I'd stopped drinking two hours ago, I drove my mom and dad home, first having to clear my mom off a small space to sit in the backseat of my car, then sternly telling my dad not to sit in the driver's seat, because he tried to.
Friday night was another night of fun as Adam came to visit (yeah, I know I promised not to blog about my boyfriend. Oh well). My parents spent the evening stealing each others' beers when the other wasn't looking. Naturally, Adam and I both had a little too much to drink, so neither one of us could operate a motor vehicle. My dad drove. Again, it was a default thing.
It was nice having a few drinks Friday, because family get-togethers sometimes leave me thinking "Gee, I could really go for a shot or two or eight right about now."
Wednesday I was off from work, and the rest of the days I worked day shifts, if at all. So Wednesday night I met my parents at The Shack to hear Sammy play, along with Linda and Jimmy, Mike and Fran, and some guy (John I think) and his wife Linda.
I had about three drinks, a steak, and some dessert. At about 11 we decided to leave on account that everyone else, including the staff, was about to. Earlier in the evening Mike and Fran left, and since they rode with Linda and Jimmy, my dad told them to take the CRV.
Well, when the rest of our crew was ready to go, we realized there were few sober drivers and even fewer seats in vehicles.
Because I'd stopped drinking two hours ago, I drove my mom and dad home, first having to clear my mom off a small space to sit in the backseat of my car, then sternly telling my dad not to sit in the driver's seat, because he tried to.
Friday night was another night of fun as Adam came to visit (yeah, I know I promised not to blog about my boyfriend. Oh well). My parents spent the evening stealing each others' beers when the other wasn't looking. Naturally, Adam and I both had a little too much to drink, so neither one of us could operate a motor vehicle. My dad drove. Again, it was a default thing.
It was nice having a few drinks Friday, because family get-togethers sometimes leave me thinking "Gee, I could really go for a shot or two or eight right about now."
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
The Livestock Center Is Surprisingly High Tech OR I'm A Mighty Kid!
So I'm sitting in the Livestock Center at some makeshift cowboy apartment vvhich is surprisingly high tech despite the fact that the "vv" key doesn't vvork and I have to type a "v" tvvice in rapid succession.
Tina's competing in the AGR Hay Daze Svveetheart Pageant, and all is going vvell thus far, other than the fact that it's so damn cold I'm about to get hypothermia, and the space bar only occasionally vvorks. Damn that double v.
Initiation vvas this vveekend. Katie gave me her Phi Chi fleece! I'm so excited!
That's all folks - I've got to get back to the pageant stuff.
Tina's competing in the AGR Hay Daze Svveetheart Pageant, and all is going vvell thus far, other than the fact that it's so damn cold I'm about to get hypothermia, and the space bar only occasionally vvorks. Damn that double v.
Initiation vvas this vveekend. Katie gave me her Phi Chi fleece! I'm so excited!
That's all folks - I've got to get back to the pageant stuff.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Waiting to EX-Hail to the Chief
Here I am on Election Day. I voted. I even have a sticker that says, appropriately, "I Voted." It doesn't say anything like "Kiss Me, I Voted" or "Fuck Me, I Voted." I just voted.
Now I'm sitting, nervously biting my nails...actually not, but if I had that nasty habit, I assure you I'd be biting right now. I'm thinking of starting smoking.
Now, I'm really hoping that Kerry makes me proud here, and not just because I had to pay money on my taxes last year, although that was BULLSHIT because I'm a full-time student with two jobs. But I digress.
Here's hoping to a successful night for the Democrats. It's not looking so hot, but I'm optimistic. We need New Hampshire, and Nevada wouldn't hurt. Come on, boys, I'm counting on you.
Now, as much as I'd love to stick around and blog about my nervousness, I really need to go back to my apartment, but DO NOT mistake that for wanting to go back. I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.
Now I'm sitting, nervously biting my nails...actually not, but if I had that nasty habit, I assure you I'd be biting right now. I'm thinking of starting smoking.
Now, I'm really hoping that Kerry makes me proud here, and not just because I had to pay money on my taxes last year, although that was BULLSHIT because I'm a full-time student with two jobs. But I digress.
Here's hoping to a successful night for the Democrats. It's not looking so hot, but I'm optimistic. We need New Hampshire, and Nevada wouldn't hurt. Come on, boys, I'm counting on you.
Now, as much as I'd love to stick around and blog about my nervousness, I really need to go back to my apartment, but DO NOT mistake that for wanting to go back. I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
I'm Still Not Pregnant
So I haven't blogged in a month. It's true. But I have good reason - I've been sick.
Not "I have a cold" sick. More like "Oh dear God I have the plague and I've been in bed for a month" sick. Really, ask around - it's true. I have mono. But I didn't always have mono. At one time, I just had a terrible ear infection and a bad case of tonsilitis.
So I go to see this doctor on campus and he looks in my ear and goes "Ohhh" all concerned like. He then looks at my throat and makes another disapproving sound as though he was afraid of whatever was inside. Now, this is not a reaction I like getting from a doctor when he examines any part of my body. Actually, I don't much care for that reaction from anyone.
So, here I am, eight prescriptions, five doctor visits and an emergency room trip later. Still sick. Still infected by some crazy supervirus. Well, it's the mono, and some other infections.
And no, to all you smartasses out there (and believe me, I'm one of them), Adam doesn't have mono. And yes, he does still kiss me, even though I have mono. What a guy!
So at the ER, I of course had to wear one of those backless gowns that are not only backless but also nearly impossible to tie by yourself, especially if you can't move too well because you've got severe abdominal pain, the source of which you've yet to determine, hence the ER visit. And no, there is no chance I could be pregnant, but thanks for asking seven or eight times, just in case I forgot what it takes to make a baby. You know, if it were a possibility, I would've thought of that, because beginning at age 14 everytime I've had a stomach ache I've been asked that - AT LEAST TWICE. So back off with the pregnant talk, OK? Unless it's the baby Jesus, we can skip the pregnancy test disguised as a urine sample. I know you're gonna screen it for pregnancy. I wish everytime a man had a stomach ache some doctor or nurse asked him "Is there any chance you could've gotten someone pregnant?"
What comes to mind? "I shouldn't have worn a thong today." After they made me pee in a cup, the nurse man (who was really nice) came in to take my blood. Well, a few months ago I got this tattoo, and sometimes I forget I have it. I'll just be changing and look in the mirror and be like "Hey! That's cool!" but since I can't see it, I don't think about it much now. He commented on it, and of course, I follow with a witty "You're not going to believe this, but I'm terrible with needles."
So I cried for my dad, whined about missing Adam, and just generally had a bad time with the blood-taking experience. He did a good job, though; I'm just not one for bloodwork, especially since they took it last week to do the mono test.
JR's finally got around to updating his blog (ironically, I got onto him about never blogging and then I got more than a month without blogging), so I'm getting to read about life in the mother country. We still have no internet access at the apartment, but due to the doctor's order that I stay in bed and slowly waste away in Hendersonville for at least three days, I'm at the ready for the blogging.
Well, I'm off to get BACK in bed and do some more of that resting I've gotten so good at. What can I say - I get a lot of practice. But first, the top five perks of having mono.
Not "I have a cold" sick. More like "Oh dear God I have the plague and I've been in bed for a month" sick. Really, ask around - it's true. I have mono. But I didn't always have mono. At one time, I just had a terrible ear infection and a bad case of tonsilitis.
So I go to see this doctor on campus and he looks in my ear and goes "Ohhh" all concerned like. He then looks at my throat and makes another disapproving sound as though he was afraid of whatever was inside. Now, this is not a reaction I like getting from a doctor when he examines any part of my body. Actually, I don't much care for that reaction from anyone.
So, here I am, eight prescriptions, five doctor visits and an emergency room trip later. Still sick. Still infected by some crazy supervirus. Well, it's the mono, and some other infections.
And no, to all you smartasses out there (and believe me, I'm one of them), Adam doesn't have mono. And yes, he does still kiss me, even though I have mono. What a guy!
So at the ER, I of course had to wear one of those backless gowns that are not only backless but also nearly impossible to tie by yourself, especially if you can't move too well because you've got severe abdominal pain, the source of which you've yet to determine, hence the ER visit. And no, there is no chance I could be pregnant, but thanks for asking seven or eight times, just in case I forgot what it takes to make a baby. You know, if it were a possibility, I would've thought of that, because beginning at age 14 everytime I've had a stomach ache I've been asked that - AT LEAST TWICE. So back off with the pregnant talk, OK? Unless it's the baby Jesus, we can skip the pregnancy test disguised as a urine sample. I know you're gonna screen it for pregnancy. I wish everytime a man had a stomach ache some doctor or nurse asked him "Is there any chance you could've gotten someone pregnant?"
What comes to mind? "I shouldn't have worn a thong today." After they made me pee in a cup, the nurse man (who was really nice) came in to take my blood. Well, a few months ago I got this tattoo, and sometimes I forget I have it. I'll just be changing and look in the mirror and be like "Hey! That's cool!" but since I can't see it, I don't think about it much now. He commented on it, and of course, I follow with a witty "You're not going to believe this, but I'm terrible with needles."
So I cried for my dad, whined about missing Adam, and just generally had a bad time with the blood-taking experience. He did a good job, though; I'm just not one for bloodwork, especially since they took it last week to do the mono test.
JR's finally got around to updating his blog (ironically, I got onto him about never blogging and then I got more than a month without blogging), so I'm getting to read about life in the mother country. We still have no internet access at the apartment, but due to the doctor's order that I stay in bed and slowly waste away in Hendersonville for at least three days, I'm at the ready for the blogging.
Well, I'm off to get BACK in bed and do some more of that resting I've gotten so good at. What can I say - I get a lot of practice. But first, the top five perks of having mono.
- Everyone is really nice to you when they know you have the power to unleash the kind of germs that will floor them for a good month or so.
- It's fun to get! It's the "kissing disease" - awww yeah. Actually, I don't know how I got it. The doctors speculate that I got it because my resisitance was so low due to the ridiculous amount of other health problems I'd been having (remember the horrifying throat? I wasn't kidding about that) that it was easier for me to get. But having mono does make people wonder "Who have you been kissing?" You know, it helps with my pimp status.
- There is no such thing as a bad movie or TV show when you're lying on the couch in pain with a fever. It could've been the fever, or the fact that I was too weak to actually change the channel, but reruns of "Pimp My Ride" and the Real World/Road Rules battle of the sexes really aren't that bad.
- Side effects can be rewarding. They gave me some narcotic pain pill that I'm not supposed to take and drive because it can cause drowsiness. So last Saturday night I took it around 1:30 a.m., once I'd gotten home from work and made a quick bite to eat. I lay awake in bed until 8:15 when I got up for work, and I don't mean I was kind of drowsy and dozed a few minutes. I was wide the hell awake. But here's the thing: At work the next day, I didn't feel sleep deprived. I worked for 10 hours with no break (I never get breaks) and didn't feel any more tired than I usually do. Then it occurred to me: Duh! I took a narcotic! So I got a glimpse at what life would be like on speed: Stay up all night and never feel tired. Of course, I slept a really long time once I actually got home from work.
- It's like a mini vacation! Yeah, when you're sick and contagious, people pretty much leave you alone. I mean, no one wants to get mono, so say goodbye to people invading your personal space or wanting you to go sit at some crappy restaurant with a group of people and drink coffee for two hours. "Gee, I'd love to go, but I've got mono. I'm supposed to stay in bed. Otherwise, I'd be happy to help you rearrange your closet and alphabetize your pantry. Maybe when I get better in four to six weeks." I mean, by that time, they've forgotten. There is one exception to this: Adam doesn't leave me alone. Which is good! Because it's really good for the ego when you've been sick with mono for a month (don't worry, I'm getting to the ego boost) and your boyfriend rolls over and starts kissing your neck in his sleep. I mean, how sweet is that? Granted, he has no idea he's doing it, but it's still nice.
Now I'm going to bed, because the abdominal pain in coming back, most likely because my pain pill has worn off. And no, there's still no chance I could be pregnant.
Sunday, September 12, 2004
These People Got the Bronze in the Human Race
I liked my last list blog so much that I decided to create another one, this one devoted solely to the many types of people who annoy me. Enjoy.
People I Can Do Without:
People I Can Do Without:
- Parents who let their undisciplined children run rampant through my store dripping sweet and sour frooze pops on everything in sight. I know you think it's cute, but it's not cute enough to outweigh the annoyance that I incur while trying to rid the Bubble Tape of the sticky goo. There are reasons why these things come with lids. Wait until you're safe inside your power-door convertible backseat minivan to rip that sucker open. In fact, kids shouldn't be handling any product that includes the words "sticky goo" without a helmet and adult supervision. You know, the whole "Keep out of the reach of children" really ought to apply to those neon-colored sugar fixes, too. Oh, and don't eat the silicon. It's not good for you.
- Anyone willing to argue for more than 10 minutes about a late fee less than 10 dollars. Get a life. Deal with it. You know, think of all the times you thought you had a late fee but didn't. I mean, really, you're balancing out.
- Any professor who expects you to do anything other than sleep in on a holiday weekend. Your class is important, but it is not the only class I have, and when it's Labor Day weekend, as far as I'm concerned, I have no classes. Just think, the less you make me do, the less you have to do. Everybody wins!
- Anyone who calls me on my off day for a reason other than death or near death or disaster of some sort. The longest I do without work is one day off. It can wait. I know you don't think it can, but it can. Trust me. I know these things. You don't want to hear the type of solution I'm going to come up with at 9:27 a.m. on my day off. For all intents and purposes, I don't exist between the hours of 5 a.m. and 1 p.m. During those times, I cease to be.
Well, hopefully I've regained some blog respect after my last sub-par entry. But just in case that list didn't do it: Joey is still cool.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
DELETED!
Wow. I've really been neglecting my blog lately. How sad.
Actually, I was on vacation for a while. After that, I went right back to school, living in my apartment with no Internet access. Hence my lack of blogging.
So what's been happening to me the past 16 days, you ask? Well, I have a boyfriend now! But I refuse to be one of those girls who blogs about her boyfriend, so that's all for that.
I had entirely too much fun deleting some people from my cell phone. You know, every now and then you've got to scroll through the numbers, and if you find yourself asking "Who is that?" it's time to erase and shout "DELETED!"
I have a virtual pet thing named Spike. He's three. He's sleeping right now, so he can't come out to play. Oh well. Adam and Tina are both on their second pet - theirs died. But Spike lives!
My work screwed up my check AGAIN this week and didn't put my raise on it, so they owe me a hefty bit of cash whenever they decide to backpay me for their screwups.
My tattoo is now finished - it has color, and it looks really good. Next stop on the Wendy Express: Eyebrow ring.
Well, now I'm going to eat my Jersey Mike's sub and watch The Rundown or various episodes of Buffy Season 2. And yes, I know this blog was extremely lame and not as witty as I usually am. I promise to be more charming next time.
Actually, I was on vacation for a while. After that, I went right back to school, living in my apartment with no Internet access. Hence my lack of blogging.
So what's been happening to me the past 16 days, you ask? Well, I have a boyfriend now! But I refuse to be one of those girls who blogs about her boyfriend, so that's all for that.
I had entirely too much fun deleting some people from my cell phone. You know, every now and then you've got to scroll through the numbers, and if you find yourself asking "Who is that?" it's time to erase and shout "DELETED!"
I have a virtual pet thing named Spike. He's three. He's sleeping right now, so he can't come out to play. Oh well. Adam and Tina are both on their second pet - theirs died. But Spike lives!
My work screwed up my check AGAIN this week and didn't put my raise on it, so they owe me a hefty bit of cash whenever they decide to backpay me for their screwups.
My tattoo is now finished - it has color, and it looks really good. Next stop on the Wendy Express: Eyebrow ring.
Well, now I'm going to eat my Jersey Mike's sub and watch The Rundown or various episodes of Buffy Season 2. And yes, I know this blog was extremely lame and not as witty as I usually am. I promise to be more charming next time.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Tonight: Partly Cloudy, Tomorrow: Republicans
In less than 12 hours, I will be on a nonstop flight to New York City. This is quite exciting - I haven't had a vacation in far too long. And what's better than jetting off to the land of tall buildings, fast cabs and overpriced, well, everything? Not much.
However, while I'm basking in the joys of my vacation, New York will be invaded by...Republicans!
Yes, it just so happens that the lovely congregating of these people - the Republican National Convention - will be getting underway while I'm galavanting around the big city. Naturally, I've prepared accordingly.
I'm fully equipped with the First Amendment. In true liberal fashion, this is my defense to everything. It's like verbal pepper spray, and it works wonders on conservatives:
"You can't say that!"
"Actually, I'm protected by the First Amendment."
"What? Ahhh! The only amendment that matters is the second - guns, guns, guns!"
I'm also toting my razor-sharp wit. This will come in handy when they bring out the Botox jokes. I'll just unleash a stream of witticisms and watch in awe as they marvel at my quick yet cunning retorts. If only I had a Clinton T-shirt. Then I'd really be ready to hit the Big Apple.
At any rate, I'm very excited about my trip. I've never flown alone before, and what better time to try that out than straight into LaGuardia in the midst of a political bruhaha.
I've also never chased a shoplifter until tonight, but there's a first time for everything. He was scared of me, too. "Oh shit, the little girl's gonna kill me!"
A special shout-out to Erica - happy birthday! Try not to get so drunk that you don't remember it, because someone will, and you don't want the stories to be too embarassing.
And for anyone wondering, I'm obviously still on my streak of good days and nights or I would've blogged sooner. Yes, it is still good to be me.
However, while I'm basking in the joys of my vacation, New York will be invaded by...Republicans!
Yes, it just so happens that the lovely congregating of these people - the Republican National Convention - will be getting underway while I'm galavanting around the big city. Naturally, I've prepared accordingly.
I'm fully equipped with the First Amendment. In true liberal fashion, this is my defense to everything. It's like verbal pepper spray, and it works wonders on conservatives:
"You can't say that!"
"Actually, I'm protected by the First Amendment."
"What? Ahhh! The only amendment that matters is the second - guns, guns, guns!"
I'm also toting my razor-sharp wit. This will come in handy when they bring out the Botox jokes. I'll just unleash a stream of witticisms and watch in awe as they marvel at my quick yet cunning retorts. If only I had a Clinton T-shirt. Then I'd really be ready to hit the Big Apple.
At any rate, I'm very excited about my trip. I've never flown alone before, and what better time to try that out than straight into LaGuardia in the midst of a political bruhaha.
I've also never chased a shoplifter until tonight, but there's a first time for everything. He was scared of me, too. "Oh shit, the little girl's gonna kill me!"
A special shout-out to Erica - happy birthday! Try not to get so drunk that you don't remember it, because someone will, and you don't want the stories to be too embarassing.
And for anyone wondering, I'm obviously still on my streak of good days and nights or I would've blogged sooner. Yes, it is still good to be me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
