"Whatever You Do Today, You'll Have to Sleep with Tonight"

I think I can sleep with what I've done, and I feel good about what I'm about to do.

Shit. I just figured something out. I just realized why something might have happened, and I violently dislike it. Shitdamnhellfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. OK, I might be better now.

After formal last night, I had some fun on the Party Bus. There were stripper poles! And I made $6 in tips that night from the girls and their dates. Just for dancing on the pole. Bink's boyfriend even asked her if I was a stipper because "She's got stripper moves from hell." So, I think that's a compliment? I'm going to take it that way. Also, on the bus, Bobby pinned Tanya (in a fraternity way, not in a sex way), so I'm really glad everyone insisted that I go, because I would've hated to have missed that.

My doctor's going to be mad at me for my shenanigans last night. But it was so worth it. And I just won't tell him.

Anyway, the after party kicked some serious ass, so thanks to the girls for insisting I go instead of just drinking at the SigEp house, and thanks to Robert for letting me drag him along.

I have Saturday off! I'm so excited and have no idea what to do with myself, but you can count on me sleeping until at least 2 and most likely 3.

I've discovered a lot about myself since, at the risk of sounding melodramatic, a good part of my world caved in, and that is that I can't be left alone with my thoughts for days on end. I get far too pensive, and I just wish I could turn my brain off sometimes. Then again, I'm sure I'd miss the overanalyzing and freaking out over stupid shit.

Maybe not.

I think I'm going to go for a drive in a bit. That seems to be the best way to handle it when I've got too much on my mind. I got more grades today, and while I'm excited that I got a W when I thought I was getting an F, I also got an F where I was supposed to get a W. So, yeah, all that walking across campus to bring my form to the withdrawal office after having it signed by the head of the department on a day I cried the whole way to school because I was in so much pain was all for naught. Motherfucker.

So, yeah, shitty grades but mostly incompletes for me this semester. And I'll graduate in December 2007 most likely now. Yikes. And that's only my school problems - I don't even want to go there with my other problems, especially the aforementioned quagmire that gives rise to interpretations that vary from really good to sub-par. The solution, of course, is to stop interpreting. I can sleep with that.

And now, the much anticipated song of the day: "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers.

I'm coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I’m coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibi
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I never...
I never...
I never...