"Are you self-employed?" or When Refunds Go AWOL

Tuesday night, after meeting, I hung out with Robert and the guys for some much needed kicking back. We went to Chad's for some poker (yes, Robert drove this time), and the power went off for about an hour. Poker by candlelight. It's interesting to watch. I drove back - keeping my mirrors intact. It was quite an accomplish with the snow and all the freezing going on. Good for me.

Today I woke up against my will at a time I deem much too early (1:15) and went home, changed for work, and went to work. During my shift, I got a lovely sales call. Here's the gist:

Me: Smyrna Starbucks. This is Wendy. How may I help you?

She: [incoherent, heavily accented speech]

Me: I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number.

She: No, can I speak to the owner.

Me: Well, we don't really have an owner. We have a manager, but she's not in right now. Can I take a message?

She: No, no message. Is this Starbucks Coffee?

Me: Yes.

She: 620 Sam Ridley. [she even spouted off the zip code here - I don't even know that]

Me: Yes, it is.

She: Who is this?

Me: This is Wendy.

She: Are you self-employed?

Me: No, I work for Starbucks. [No shit, we've already established this. I mean, seriously, did you call me at home or on a cell phone? No, you called where I work to ask me if I'm self-employed. This is really stupid.]

She: Do you have health insurance [incoherent] government?

Me: Yes, I have health insurance.

She: Is it paid by the government. [incoherent]

Me: No, my mother pays for it.

She: OK, thank you.

Yeah. Won't be answering the phones there anytime soon. Sheesh. Are you self-employed? How are you going to call my place of employment to ask if I'm self-employed? I just don't get people sometimes.

At work, Vince was talking about a professor he knows who plans to never retire. So I responded in this fashion:

Me: So he's just going to go to school every day and wait to die?

Vince: Yes.

Me: That's what I do!

In other news, of course we weren't going to get through the night without something about which to panic, and, no, it isn't my awkward syntax.

WHERE IS MY MONEY?!

Do you hear that, Business Office? Why is MTSU trying so hard to fuck me out of my money? First, it's going to take me an extra two years on top of the five I'd already planned on to graduate, then they tried to take my financial aid, and now my financial aid refund is AWOL. I know MIA is slightly more accurate, but when else am I ever going to get to say something inanimate is AWOL?

On my MTSU account, it says my refund was sent via direct deposit on Jan. 14. However, it has yet to appear on my bank account - even as a PENDING TRANSACTION! Brandy is Awesome has the same bank as I do, and her money was there Monday night. Where is mine? I need it! I already spent some of it on books because I saw when MTSU supposedly sent it to the bank, and it's ALWAYS available the first day of classes. Now I need to get the Business Office to cut me a check or something so I can get to my bank (which is where my money goes to die, by the way) before all my other transactions go through and fuck me out of even more money in overdraft charges. Fuck MTSU. Fuck whatever is keeping me from getting my damn money - I can't pay the electric bill until I get it. I can't pay anything until I get it. I can't get my migraine medicine refilled until I get it.

How in the hell do you lose $1300? Where does it go? Are they keeping it in a mattress somewhere? If it left MTSU Saturday, even though Monday was a bank holiday, it should be pending by today if not already credited. Something is seriously wrong here. It's like trying to get a kidney transplant from the DMV.

I'm going to try sleeping again. I wasn't tired before, but I have class from 8 until 5:45 tomorrow, so I should probably try harder, or at least just give in and light my sleeping incense (Cool Water).