THERE'S A SNAKE LOOSE IN THE HOUSE!

Well, there was, but we found him. Tina and I are a bunch of regular crocodile hunter types.

She called me and asked if he'd died, and I said no, and she said something to the effect of "So, he escaped?"

"Oh shit. I'm on my way."

(to the group) "I'll be back - I have to go catch a snake." I said it just like I had to go to the store or something. You know, like this was an everyday occurrence for me. Hell, it might become one.

So I get home and the Tina is on the phone with Brian Doesn't Know, and we're wondering how to find this Son of a Bitch (the snake - Brian Doesn't Know is not a Son of a Bitch), because the cat was no help to us.

Well, we decide to let the chinchillas out to help us find the Little Bitch, but Cole was reluctant to come out on account of he'd already seen Salazar slithering about the house. Well, Cademon started hopping around the living room really enjoying his out-of-the-cage time.

Then I got the BRILLIANT idea to check by the hot water heater, and sure enough, there he was, coiled up right next to it, just bein' his bitchy escaping snake self. What a Bitch!

Then we had to catch the chinchillas and put them back in the cage, and I proceeded to keep repeating, "You little bitch!" to Salazar while the Tina punished him with water. But not animal cruelty-type punishment. Just a dip in his water rock thing.

Damn, I wish Lindsey was still guest blogging, because this is definitely NiT worthy.